Why won't my body let me cry?

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer 8 years ago, and it has now been 8 days since my dad passed away from cancer and related complications. He was ill for about 4 months prior to his passing and had two major operations in this time that prolonged his life by a month or two.  The last 4 weeks where horrific, watching him deteriorate, feeling his heart break that he was soon to leave us and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.

I have cried for months with dad, with family, in the shower, everywhere, But I haven't shed a tear for about 5 days, I just feel numb and kind of lost, and don't know what to do with myself. Months of worrying about him, sitting by his bedside and now it's all over. I want him back so badly and I know that is a normal feeling but this lost numb feeling seems strange. Why won't my body let me cry?    

Parents
  • Hi Lost,

    Sorry to read about your recent loss. In reply to your question, I suspect it still may not have fully sunk in yet or you may even be in denial. When you lose a loved one, It seems like its not real for a few weeks and we find it difficult accepting our loss. Grief affects everyone different but please dont beat yourself up because you cant cry. As he was suffering towards the end, subconciusly you may be feeling relieved his suffering is over. There is a number of reasons why you feel like you do.

    Anytime you need to chat, there are some wonderful people on here who understand.

    Please keep in contact, Brian.

Reply
  • Hi Lost,

    Sorry to read about your recent loss. In reply to your question, I suspect it still may not have fully sunk in yet or you may even be in denial. When you lose a loved one, It seems like its not real for a few weeks and we find it difficult accepting our loss. Grief affects everyone different but please dont beat yourself up because you cant cry. As he was suffering towards the end, subconciusly you may be feeling relieved his suffering is over. There is a number of reasons why you feel like you do.

    Anytime you need to chat, there are some wonderful people on here who understand.

    Please keep in contact, Brian.

Children
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