Hi Jes.....Well it's worth trying but unfortunately you are just gonna have to ride it out I think. These early days are just about trying to look after yourself as best you can and trying to manage your grief to an acceptable level so as to get through each day. St Johns wort can maybe help you relax a little but is more beneficial for people coping with general depression.....Grief is more than a chemical imbalance. Have you looked into doing some voluntary/charity help somewhere? Sometimes taking your mind off your own problems and helping others with theirs can help. I am a volunteer for The Cinnamon trust and am signed up to help people who are elderly, housebound or terminally ill look after their pets. So far I have only walked 2 standard poodles for an elderly lady near me and it mostly entails dog walking ---gets you out in the fresh air with a purpose ----but sometimes it could be mucking out various animals/birds. Look them up if you are interested....you basically tell them what you are able to do then they call if they need you....you can decide to do as much or as little as you can cope with. (you have to fill a form and have referees/references) Anyway just one idea as I know there are many charities and good causes crying out for volunteers. Hope you get through today a bit better than yesterday. C.xx 

Hi Jesxx,

Feel crap too  , Mothers day tomorrow, Noone's asked me to go around anywhere. Taking some flowers , then put some on  for my gran, for mum. Then good cry.Miss her talking,

Trouble the first months the pains so intense. You dont feel like doing much, you just keep looking to find way back the life you had...  Then sreaming inside.... holding on is the key.... what would they say if you didn't?..... is what i'm thinking.... plus this trip in life is so sh..!!

Yeah i have looked into doing something  even voluntary  work but found it a struggle to even get there and speak with the woman who owns the shop. .. ended up breaking down for hours. .. hard to wake up and be OK. . And sleep isnot happening much but I'm trying still ...

It's is so s**t had an awful weekend my daughter who is 13 decided to go with her dad from Friday till today and nearly called police as she refused to come home and her dad refused to cooperate. .. she see me for few hiurs yesterday' and left that broke me again ... and tomorrow gonna be hard I'm meeting with my tonys consultant  to speak about my tony passing as need answers my counsellor  suggested it as we still are not clear what the hell happened ... dreading it ...

So sorry you having bad time too xx sending love 

Hi Jes. My name is Marie. My heart goes out to you. My husband Chris passed away on the 12.12.15, also in my arms. I cared for him at home. I did everything for him too. I also had amazing support from my district nurse, palliative nurse, and Marie Curie nurses. We had been told Chris only had short months to live, but he was a strong man, and I didn't believe them. We were soul mates. Met 6 1/2 years ago, and were married for 3 1/2 years. He was 59, and we had booked a Caribbean cruise for his 60th birthday in February this year. Sadly, that was never to happen. No one understands how I am feeling. I just want him back. How can he be dead. I also can't stop crying. I wish I could find a group where recently bereaved widows meet, but I can't. Only people who have lost a loved one understand. I am sending you a big hug.xx

I'm afraid your daughter will not understand your grief and will not want to be around you when you are like this. It may seem cruel but it is very difficult to understand such strong grief if you have not experienced it yourself....Our kids are scared by seeing us lose control because they rely on us to gide them through a difficult world! Your ex most likely doesn't understand how you are grieving so hard for Tony when he had only been back in your life for such a short time....Again I can understand how people will have that opinion. I maybe only understand to some extent due to my own experiencs grieving for my mum. She left me at a police station about 4yrs old.....I saw her twice between the ages of 7 and 14 then she was killed suddenly 4 days before my 15th Birthday! I struggled to understand the loss of a mother who was barely in my life....she gave me nothing but life and a name then neglected and abandoned me....and yet my heart broke! I had spent most of my childhood grieving for being without a mum and now there was no chance I ever could have one. It took me many years to understand that I was grieving for what I had missed which is as powerful as any loss! So all I can say is be patient with your daughter and remember she has now lost her 'happy mum' and is scared she may never get you back. At 13 she may seem grown up but believe me she is still a little girl inside who needs her Mum to be strong. You gotta do that or risk losing her. Harsh words but reality I'm afraid. :( I wish I could send you some strength in the post but it has to come from inside you.....You have a choice - however hard it may be it is your choice to get up and brave the day ir bury yourself in your grief. Wishing you every ounce of luck for the ride ahead. <3 xx

Hi Marie

Your local hospice may have a group for widows.....I'm sure my cousin went to ours when she lost her husband.....they had support for the kids too.

Sorry for your loss.

C.x

Hi marie thank you for your message xx so sorry for your    loss. .. 

Its so hard I'm dying inside ...

Sounds like you had good support when looking after your husband I didn't till he went and died in hospital I looked after him at home on my own ...but I done it ..

I found a group.on line with great support  its on they Facebook and chat room so can talk anytime to someone everyone on there are in same boat we have lost a loved one ... we post photos of our loved ones poems we talk rant cry etc.. what ever you want ... please check it out. It helps .. but sometimes I'm so down I can't even go on there but please have a look xx 

www.bereavementuk.co.uk 

There's a link.on there for the chat room and Facebook 

I'm always here to talk xx today crushed me once again going through it all with my partners consultant ... I finally got honesty but it's too late they should have been honest when I asked them when my tony was alive  .... 

Sending love to you xx please let me know if you check out that Web site xx 

Hi cfeast I sat down for hours and had a good talk with my daughter .... hopefully  I got somewhere got her home so slowly slowly with her. ..

Today was painful going to hospital  to discuss tony ... so hard but it's done ...

Just need everything  else to slow down as Feels.like it was all getting out of control and I coupons do anything  to sort it ... fingers crossed it all slows down now