That still seems mighty expensive...! My mum-in-laws funeral in December came in at £3,100 and we only did flowers for £150 and Willow Coffin for £450 ourselves....the rest was all in including two limos!!! I am glad you gave him the send off he deserved and hope you get the help you need to pay it. xx

Hi CG, just reading the posts and had to reply to you. After my Kevin died in August , I found the Valentine card he'd sent me...he'd hidden it in his bedside drawer, knowing he wouldnt be around this year. It completely floored me and I wept buckets, but this Valentines Day I stood it up and got alot of comfort in doing so. I like you have his ashes at home and when the time comes and believe me on bad days it can't come quickly enough......and then I feel guilty for thinking such thoughts , when I have two beautiful grown up sons and fab friends and family around me. I too want my ashes mixing with his and scattering over the Amalfi coastline. My sons thought this quite hilarious and said couldn't they just do it in our local park!!! I told them that I would haunt them forever, if they even dared to  go against our wishes and they have assured me that my wish is going to be fulfilled. I think what I'm trying to say is that we all seem to be going through the same emotions and fears and as much as my friends and gorgeous sister and brother are fantastic, nothing is the same as having the men we loved, with all our hearts by our sides....but and this is for you especially Jes....somehow sweetheart, we will get through it. It just takes a long time...little steps each day. I've actually been out for lunch today, having lots of cuddles with a young teachers brand new baby....and that filled my heart with happiness. Sending lots of love to you all....take time and hang on to all the things that make you smile. It's what our beautiful men would have wanted,XXX

Hi thelma,

Just wanted to say that I understand everything you are saying. I'm 60 and my husband Kevin was 61 when he passed away in August of bile duct/liver cancer. I have his jumper in bed with me and his photos on the bedside table and talk to him constantly. I always feel surprised when I wake up each morning, as the pain in my chest each evening when i go to bed is awful. I told my sis that I wished I was 80 rather than 60, so I'd not have so many long years to live without my precious Kev and she was really sad for me. She said that I needed to be here, vibrant and fit to go on outings with her and her family and my beautiful girly friends. She also reminded me that I have two young men who are grieving for their dad and to take a long hard look at what I have...Nobody, apart from people like us on this forum, will truly understand what it's like to feel lonely and to sort of live our lives " in our heads" so to speak. I like you go about my daily routines as if he's just out at work and dread the long weekends, though as the weather picks up, my friends and family are planning trips out. I keep intouch with my gorgeous boys....both live away. My eldest lives with his girlfriend in Bristol and youngest lives in Newcastle, but visit when they can. I then fuss about them like a mother hen and cook favourite meals, that since Kev died I've neglected to do. Like you say, we all deal with grief in different ways and this is not what I envisaged for my retirement. My precious hubby would want me to try and enjoy my life and be there for my boys and that gives me a reason to throw back the curtains each morning and face the world....sending you the warmest hugs.XXXX 

Hi, it is nice to know that I am not the only one to feel this way. Loneliness is a big factor, One can cope with being busy in the day but when you shut that door at night is when it hits home the most. My family and friends are really good and try to see that I am not on my own too much but even with all the attention I still feel a great sense of loneliness. I am hoping that it will ease soon so that I can then move forward with all my lovely memories until it is my turn to go home to my lovely man 

I hope you find the comfort  that  you are seeking. We have no option but to try and move forward  as best we can, the only way we know how. I am always here for a chat if you want to let off steam and I hope you get everything  sorted. I have many shoulders that I can cry on and I have to say, it does help to off load sometimes x

Hi Jessxx

You and your Tony look a nice couple. Pleased you made him so loved.

About brother, there no patching up with him. Just sorting the will out. My Mum and Dad where the best. But me and my dad would get attacked by him. It not been good for my parents. Then dad gets cancer 9 years ago. Then mum had cancer too and died few months ago. So lonely times.

Some people have no feeling, your right. I wished my brother was a good bother. I can feel your pain and Tony was no age at all.

I know funeral cost are very high in some areas. Maybe these can help... www.turn2us.org.uk/.../What-is-a-Funeral-Payment

I think local hopice have groups to meet with people who have been bereaved.

Sorry to hear you can't sort things with your brother ... So many people out there family friends all so heartless .. I haven't and will never speak to my sister we fell out years and years ago ... Can't waste time on heartless people ... Just like my tonys family I've cut them completely but they already cut me out and I didn't even know it ... Feel like A fool to be honest  as done so much to please then for my Tony funeral they messed me about so much and I got threatened ...... Absolute waste of my air that I breathe ..

At least your mum and dad had your love xxx and you had them and always will in your Heart xx 

I applied for the funeral help costs they awarded me 1400 so I need another 3200 pounds .... I have written to two charities for help as I have nothing and I feel awful for that but I will do and try all I can to get it I will not let Tony down ..

I'm always here too talk ... Don't get too lonely xx

I found a really good bereavement group on line on Facebook or they have a chat room on web site so many lovely people on there and they are on all the time. So always got someone to talk to maybe you want to give it a try xx  

Thank you Thelma I'm doing all I can to get all this sortred just some days everything gets so bad I just go into panic erratic mode and last for days ... 

I have found a website with a chat room and people on there are great just Like you lot on here .. So been on there last few days on top of sorting out this mess I'm in

thank you xxxx 

Hi Jess, so glad that things are starting to improve for you. Even after 7 months I still have moments where I crumble but I have to pick myself up and dust myself off and start all over again. You will get stronger and things will get easier  I promise, but you are allowed your special moments whereby you can indulge in your grief and remember your very special man. Chin up my love, whilst you have someone to chat to, you will always have a friend xxx