Hi Jess, like you I lost my husband suddenly last July. He had pancreatic cancer which had spread to his liver and lymph nodes. It was only 4 weeks from diagnosis to his passing.  It completely destroyed me as we had been married 50 yr.  Like you I did not want to be here without him and did something silly ( which I now regret ) but was saved by my family and friends who cared enough about me to check up to see why I had not been in touch. I now realise that I was not being fair to my son's and my grandchildren who  were also grieving. I still miss my hubby so, so much and do'nt know how to move forward but people tell me that it will get easier, so I have to believe them. I find it a comfort to lay his photo beside me in bed, strange I know, but it gets me through the night, ready to face another day. I also talk to him as I go about my daily routines as if he is still there and yes I scream at him for leaving me - we all deal with grief in a different way and I am sure you will find your own way. Sending healing hugs to you xx

Hi thermal no not strange  at all I have photos of tony everywhere and beside my bed with his ashes I kiss every day and morning. .. I carry around his belongings  as In his drivers license his bank cards a necklace with his hair in it ... I have become obsessed with him ... I was pretty much like that when he was alive and now even more .. I talk to him all the time as he never ever leaves my head ... thank you for your message I'm trying so much so try cope ... sorry for your loss too xx

I hope you find the comfort  that  you are seeking. We have no option but to try and move forward  as best we can, the only way we know how. I am always here for a chat if you want to let off steam and I hope you get everything  sorted. I have many shoulders that I can cry on and I have to say, it does help to off load sometimes x

Thank you Thelma I'm doing all I can to get all this sortred just some days everything gets so bad I just go into panic erratic mode and last for days ... 

I have found a website with a chat room and people on there are great just Like you lot on here .. So been on there last few days on top of sorting out this mess I'm in

thank you xxxx 

Hi Jess, so glad that things are starting to improve for you. Even after 7 months I still have moments where I crumble but I have to pick myself up and dust myself off and start all over again. You will get stronger and things will get easier  I promise, but you are allowed your special moments whereby you can indulge in your grief and remember your very special man. Chin up my love, whilst you have someone to chat to, you will always have a friend xxx

Hi Jess, so glad that things are starting to improve for you. Even after 7 months I still have moments where I crumble but I have to pick myself up and dust myself off and start all over again. You will get stronger and things will get easier  I promise, but you are allowed your special moments whereby you can indulge in your grief and remember your very special man. Chin up my love, whilst you have someone to chat to, you will always have a friend xxx

Hi thelma .. nah things are not improving just desperately trying to do everything while I'm a mess not easy ...