I am also Sussex...Quite upsetting not being able to do anything! :/ Do you think the moderators would know what to do?...............Jes has been on daily and said she would keep in touch then nothing after that desperate post last night! :(

Sorry to have worried you all ... just in so much pain I really can't handle it 

Point the funeral directors towards the family for the cost of funeral.....They can't expect to get money out of you if you have none! Out of order for them not to pay and is another stress you can do without! Just keep saying you can't pay and you are handing it over to the family....I'm sure/hope the funeral company will understand. xx

He sure was lucky to have you and your family at the end.....He really wouldn't want you to be suffering now so definitely get them hit with the bill!!! By doing it through the funeral directors you wont have to contact them at all and they deserve to cover the cost as it sounds like they owed him big time!!! :( xx

Tony was very lucky to have you and his family ... regarding the funeral costs I would seek out some legal advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau - I'm not certain but funeral costs may be classed as a "debt" and there will be laws in force for who is reponsible for paying.  I think it would be wise to get all the facts before perhaps going to his family.  The funeral home will be anxious to get their ££s - I noticed when I got the bill for my Mother's a few weeks ago it said that if the balance wasn't paid after 30 days then interest would accrue.  It seems death is very expensive these days.  However, I'm sure once you explain the situation to them they be sympathetic.  

Hi Jess,

You gave your Tony the love he needed. Your pain is so much because you had so much love for him. But hold in there. As he wouldn't like to see any harm to you.

I know the pain inside, can make you could wish you could stop it by any means. But a loved one would not what you to do something silly.

I don't know why horrible things happen to good people.

I'm sorting thing out with my brother who was horrible to my parents and me. As mum has died a few months ago and I loved so much. Not spoke to him  for years. So know how you feel.

Maybe look for a bereavement group, who meet up every week.

Sameboat

Sameboat

Cfeast yep they do owe him big time ... all I have is a phone nunber for the dad ..

But I really don't want to bring them into it .. I have got two charities  to apply for so going to give them a try ..

I just can't ask that family for nothing.... im gonna try my best to sort this ... 

Allingham I'm going to C.A.B Monday to see what other help i can get. . I did speak  to the funeral directors  twice now and nothing they can do to help .... the man who owns the place told me at Xmas before the funeral I needed 2000 for the deposit otherwise no funeral so I borrowed as he assured me I'd get the funeral payment of social fund .. now so angry as I borrowed of a neighbour who lost her husband 2 months before tony so I feel awful and got to sort this 

Same boat thanks for your message and sorry for your loss xx

I am with bereavement  group on line that maggies put me with and I'm looking for something maybe face to face I'm also with cruse  they come once a week but he is off till 2nd March now .... so gutted about that ....

Hope you sort out problems with your brother. . As for tony family they is nothing to sort as they are a very strange  family. . Very cold .... they don't see what they ever done wrong they blame everything  on my tony ... theres just no talking or discussing anything  with them I see tony go through hell with them all but yet he was always made to crawl back and say sorry for no reason they made him and ways say sorry. .. my poor man .... they are disgusting people just hope that one day the guilt hits them so hard .. but then they have no heart or soul selfish people ... so they will never feel.anything  ....

Mis-information from funeral directors not helpful at all... :/ If they knew you needed to get the money off the social then why add the costs up that high!!! Money making ***!!! (I managed to bury my Nan for less than £1000 by doing most of it myself....decorated cardboard coffin, printed my own order of service, even did her hair and make-up... so they could have helped you cut the cost!) I hope you get some good advice from CAB. xx

I used Levertons for my Mother's funeral and I was amazed at how wonderful they were - I was advised from the beginning that I could go for a basic £1,700 funeral and everything was very clearly laid out on their website so  you knew what you were spending.  I didn't go for the basic - my Mother had scrimped during her life so I gave her a wonderful send off.  I had to put down a deposit but then it is a business - I'm sure if I had problems paying they would have understood.  

I just wished that the social workers, care home manager, doctors, nurses etc. had handled my Mother with the same dignity that the undertaker did .... 

Jes - am sure if you explain the situation to them they will give you the time that you need.  Keep an eye on that small print though just in case there is a clause for interest.  Lots of love 

Cfeast wow can't believe  that ..well I do just saying ... as when I first sat with funeral director  I explained the aituation so we went for basic everything  I got my mate to do.flowers and my sons designed  and printed of the order of service cards etc... but it still came to 4600 we went as low as possible .... 

But he had the most beautiful  send off as all the little personal details i done 

Just hope cab  can help 

Cfeast wow can't believe  that ..well I do just saying ... as when I first sat with funeral director  I explained the aituation so we went for basic everything  I got my mate to do.flowers and my sons designed  and printed of the order of service cards etc... but it still came to 4600 we went as low as possible .... 

But he had the most beautiful  send off as all the little personal details i done 

Just hope cab  can help 

That still seems mighty expensive...! My mum-in-laws funeral in December came in at £3,100 and we only did flowers for £150 and Willow Coffin for £450 ourselves....the rest was all in including two limos!!! I am glad you gave him the send off he deserved and hope you get the help you need to pay it. xx