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Dealing with a loss of a loved one

Navitha2
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Hello All.

We found out in December that our nan had terminal cancer in her liver and goulbladder. We were told we had a few months with her, but we were then told before Christmas that it was a number of weeks. The news first hadn't sunk in, but the realisation soon hit when we were told we didn't have as long as we were hoping for.

Our nan sadly passed away on the 8th January 2015. I have struggled with our loss and it hurt even more when I was at work and didn't have any support from my manager and was told that I couldn't have the time off I needed for the funeral. I have since been signed off work for a number of weeks.

It's difficult knowing that I can't hold her hand, we will no longer be playing the card games I loved, or will watch the tv programmes we loved together. And not forgetting the cooking we did together, I miss the fun we would have in the kitchen making up my favourite dishes. I miss her every day and love her with all my heart. I did have beautiful 26 years with her and coming to terms with the loss has been difficult, but I have had great support from friends and family and I am returning to work this week.

Thank you all for listening. It's nice to know there is a site for these discussions and support.

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    Hi Navitha,

    Dealing with the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we have to deal with. The closer we have been to them the greater the pain. I am so sorry to hear your manager wouldnt let you have time off to say your goodbye to your nan, that must have been very hard for you.

    You have joined a very friendly forum and thank you for telling us your cancer experiance.

    Take care Brian.

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    Our thoughts are with you Navitha at this sad time. Thank you for sharing it with you = at least Nan is not suffering now and it at peace. My wife had a really close and fun relationship with her mum = they would phone each other up all the time and chat and have fun = go shopping for hours together. All that ended when her mum suddenly got cancer and died last year. So, I have a tiny insight into what you must be missing. My wife cries every day and cna get very low.

    Let me end as I start = our thoughts are with you and here is a hug for you

    Steven xx

    The group here are very nice and very supporting and understanding = I am glad you found it

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    Hello Navitha

    Just wanted to add my welcome to the forum.  It is awfully hard to come to terms with the loss of our loved ones but this is a lovely supportive site and its a good place to share your feelings.  It sounds as if you made the very best of the 26 years spent enjoying things with your Nan and no one can take those memories away. I am really saddened that you had such an unfeeling manager and thus were denied the chance to attend your nan's funeral but hope the time off has helped with your reflections.  Come and chat anytime as there are plenty of kind and thoughtful people 'reading' and I hope you will find it helpful.

    All the very best with your return to work.Jules54

     

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    Thank you for all of your messages. 

    Your kinds words mean a lot to me. The doctors have been very good and had signed me off work as soon as I had visited them so despite the actions of my manager, I was there to say goodbye to my nan. Which I feel has helped me to deal better with our loss. 

    It is very nice to see how supportive this group is and how warming people are. I just wanted to say thank you again for your messages. 

    Nav x

  • Offline in reply to Navitha2

    Hi Nav, I am sorry to read your story and of your loss.  
    I don't know it if would be of any comfort to think Nan is looking down on you and watching over you.  I personally am sure she is
    Although she is not physically with you a little bit of her is in you and your siblings plus whichever of your parents were her child, so her being her still lives on.  She has impacted on you.
    Big hugs Kathy x
     

     

     

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    Hi Nav,

    I can't believe what I've read in regards to your manager! How inconsiderate of them!

    I'm glad you have managed to get the time off work, this will help for when you do go back.

    You're memories of your nan are so lovely, it's been a pleasure to read them, take comfort in them. 

    Look at the positives with your nans passing even though it is a struggle, she wasn't ill for very long, you have amazing support from family and friends and I do believe your nan is proud of you right now and always will be.

    Take Care x

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