I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say, what to advice, but I too lost my mum to cancer which although a secondary (after a long remission) she went from diagnosis to dying in 3 months. So I do understand the rollercoaster of emotions that this type of timeframe and devestating loss can bring to you. 

There is no right and wrong in how to react or what to feel / do as a relative I don't think. I would say to try and minimise any commitments you have and give yourself time to grieve whether that is alone or with family, you are right to feel how you do, even if it's presented differently to someone else. 

((hugs)) take time, and remember your dad for who he was in your life rather than what the illness did. 

Take care, thoughts are with you. 

I am sending you and you all big hugs in your loss. Poor your Dad = he sounds such a hero. He isn't so far away and he is proud of you all

We both send warmest wishes to you in your grief.

Steven and Anne xxxxxxx

Hi Tasha,

I'm Nat, It makes complete sense, you've lost such an important part of your life you are bound to want him back. 

You were there when he past and you can take comfort in that you know he was surrounded by those who loved him and who he loved too.

Feeling cold, numb, not knowing what to do and how to handle it is normal, eveyone goes through similar feelings so you are not alone.

Take Care Tasha x

Hi Tasha

I know what you are going through as i lost my mummy on 28.02 so last wknd,  we have had the funeral and i go back to work tomorrow. Im sorry to hear about your daddy, i was also with my mum at the end but it doesnt seem to make it much easier, my mum passed 6 days after my sisters wedding, she held on for dear life that was all she wanted.

Take care we will get through this together Sara x

Hi

Just caught up with your thread and this forum will help you to know you are not alone in the feelings you have just now. I lost my husband two months ago(and my children their beloved Dad) and we grieve as a family but also all in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to feel because we are all different personalities with different memories.  In time I hope you will feel comfort in the knowledge that your Dad new the love of you and your siblings and Mum will understand your emotions even as she has to grieve herself.  Hope you find the forum a support (I have at times be overwhelmed at the kindness of the words of strangers who I now consider virtual buddies).  Take things day by day and am sorry for your loss. Jules54

Hi Tasha

Just a quick message to see how your doing?

Sara x

Thankyou all for your kind messages. 

Hi Sara, 

We had dads funeral on Wednesday. It all really hit me then. Was a very hard day. I keep having panic attacks, I went to visit dad at the chapel of rest, but I'm having regrets now, coz I can't get that image out of my head. To me it wasn't dad, he had changed so much.  I keep looking at old holiday pictures to get that image out of my head, but wen I go to bed it comes back, I'm not sleeping, and have to have the light on at night time coz im scared. 

Thanku 

Tasha xx

Hi tasha

write u a reply last night but it got wiped. How did u find the funeral? Did ur dad have a good send off? Is that your first funeral? My mums was my first. How are your family? I didn't have to see mum at chapel of rest as she passed at home I was there and she Was in house hours before they collected her. I know what u mean about images tho,  my mum struggled massively that last night and  I've got lots. Of horrible images on my head I can't get rid of. I think about them all the time. Bit they will ease its only early days for both of us, I alosi look at  lots of photos and stuff she was so ill at the end that's all I think of! I understand about u being scared I'm the same and I'm 31! How old ri? Sorry about the spellings I'm on the train! 

Keep in touch, we will get through this together! Sara xx