lHi Kathy, really sorry how the last posting from me finished, think it might be me and not the chat line program, Dice what a cracking name, bet he was mustard in his prime, but he looks chilled, but glad the old chap is still doing well and the heat is no problem for him. You are so right about our pets, really don't know what I would do without Sheba, only had her four months but we are so attached, Dawn would love her too, even think Dawn had a hand in our coming together. Was thinking the other day she is the only other girl apart from Dawn who I have told I love them, but she is so good for me. What an amazing lady you must be, after a short time you have the strength to stand up and speak to an audience, I couldn't do it even now after two and half years plus. Don't think your children would have asked you if they didn't think you could do it, they must be so proud of you as you are of them. I know for a fact your hubby will be with you, saying go on Kathy you will be ok. Woops, just had a few tears thinking of it, told you I was a wuss. 

Really do think it is great what you are going to do, I think the wedding attendees will be in tears before you, I do wish you all the very best, and truly hope the wedding day is just the best ever. Well done, go for it.

It is just great you still chat to your friends in Scotland, do you find you go back to your Scottish language or are you Aussy through and through.have they been to visit, bet they wouldn't want to go home if they did, been chatting by email to the Daughter in law in Adelaide, she is working really hard at work and the grandchildren are doing so well, the eldest grandchild Cianan is twenty in May, and he has is own flat, now I do feel old.

Take care of yourself Kathy and write that speech, kind regards Paul

Hi Paul, managed to lose last message to you.  How dippy am I? Don't answer that one....
Just been into bedroom to check on dog, cooler going there... To find he was elsewhere....all good now he is on waterbed enjoying the cool.  
I feel good tdy, Wednesday was a bit of a downer but have pepped up again.  Went to babysit grandson on Thurs as he was sick and DIL started  new course that day so had to attend.  It's nice to feel needed/wanted and do so much enjoy time with littlies.
3 weeks tdy they are wed, how exciting.
Don't say you are a wuss.  You are someone who feels compassion and empathy for a fellow human, that makes you a kind man.
I still speak with a strong Scottish/ Irish accent but am sure it will broaden when with my family.  When with the Aussies I try and tone it down.  Have finished raking front lawn to remove plugs after coring due to blister, but woo hoo all done so now am applying gypsum and fertiliser and watering in.  Have saved myself $250 by doing myself.
 
Bit of a hot one tomorrow 40, son calling in so have a few heavy lifting man jobs for him to do.  Have to utilise my resources haha and plan accordingly.,    I do enjoy my time with him.  I have always called him the light of my life, born 10 weeks prem, only 1020 grams, has turned out to be a strapping 6 foot 3 like his dad, but gee would like to see him fatten up a wee bit. He is very lean.  Maybe I am just jealous....but seriously am so lucky to have him in my life, DIL was so impressed when she saw the bond we have, as in see how a man treats his mother therefore how he will treat you.
Anyway enough dribbling from me Paul.  Much planned for the weekend?
Best wishes and hugs to you both
Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy, sorry you had a bad day, but glad your feeling better now, not doing to good myself, got tooth ache and a nasty cold, only had them a couple of days and had enough all ready, shouldn't grummble though I don't get many colds at all and the tooth is lose now so I may take some pain killers or a few beers and get it out, if all fails it's off to the dentist, but he won't touch it while I have a cold. It is great looking after the grandchildren isn't it, had George Thursday, but it was raining all day so we did a bit of drawing, a bit of training with Sheba and a couple of DVDs. Been out today, had an haircut and bought caster sugar, flour so we can do a little baking next time he's here, going to practice first though. Be glad when it warms up then we shall be out with Sheba and have a few picnics. The wedding is coming round fast isn't it, it will be here before you know it. How's you're speech coming along, I really do think your so brave, but do sincerely wish you all the very best. It sounds amazing what you are doing with your garden, bet you are really proud of yourself and quite right too. It will be nice when we can do a bit in the garden it's either too cold or to wet. It's so nice to hear the bond you have with your son, and how proud you are of him, the way he treats you though is down to yourself and hubby for giving the guidance and having the respect. Our youngest son is great just wish the eldest two had turned out a bit better. The weekend is going to be taken up by a bit of cleaning, washing the clothes, out with Sheba, going to help the youngest son fit new taps with shut off valves in their downstais loo, but waiting for the call as he has got to take George to football training. I am still teaching myself to play the guitar,, Sheba has not been howling yet so think it's coming along fine .ok it's time to try a bit of baking, don't know if I will let Shba have any cake as the vet bills are very expensive. Really do enjoy our chats, thank you for taking time out for me, take great care of yourself, Kind regards Paul.

Hi Paul,
Oil of cloves or cloves may assist with toothache, but by the time you get this, problem may be solved.  Like your suggestion of a few beers to help out.
Son had his bucks night in town (scary place to be) but has rung me to say safe back in hotel phew!!!  Sometimes you can be in wrong place at wrong time and end up in trouble.  Plan initially was to sleep over here but got a cheap rate for hotel and could allow him to have a few drinks.  Hotel has a pool, I have a bath?!!
Had fun night as little sis face timed me, first time ever, getting more comp savvy as time goes on.  Was a good/different experience, but good to see her.
Went out last night to a girlfriends house for a meal and a few drinks.  Dice was ok next door, had a ball and left cat inside with radio and light on for comfort.  Had a sleepover and was up at 5.30 am.  Yes am an early bird. Girlfriend suggested she comes round here vacuums and cleans bathrooms and I do 3 hrs gardening for her, sounds good to me.
Today even though was 40 gypsumed lawn and watered half of front lawn.    Managed to vacuum though will honestly admit indoors is not my forte.  Would rather be outside in fresh air. 
Think I will need to buy some fresh flour for baking as think what I had will be past due date, that's life , into the compost will go , waste not want not.
Off to visit in laws on Tues again only 27 forecast, bit sad when they are better able to communicate with me than sis in law who is their daughter, they are probably too alike.
Just going through mobile deleting old messages.  In a way it's good that we don't know what life has mapped out for us.  We have to react/adapt as we do.  If someone had forecast to me 12 months ago where I would be today I would have told them they were bonkers. How quickly life changed.  Once again reiteritating we have to make the most of each day, the birdsong, the new growth, the weeds in my garden that I will remove, sorry Paul not preaching to you, but to my self.
Your cakes should be ok for Sheba, a little bit is ok as long as not chocolate??
Actually have some recipes for healthy dog snack....just came to mind, prev dog kelpie required healthy dog biscs.  Sheba should be ok on normal stuff.
Speech coming on ok,  will have to be sober when delivering it.  still have to find an outfit, will get there, wish the kids would let me wear vesty top,shorts and flip flops( too much Aussie influence). But alas will dress appropriately. Also mother won't let me wear anything that shows too much cleavage in her opinion.  Have been out when she has heightened my neckline with a nappy pin!!!  She is a hoot.
How did you do with the new taps at your sons?  I am afraid some men jobs are over my head..
All the best, time for bed, take care
Hugs to you and Sheba,  Kathy x
 

Hi there Kathy, you do make me smile with you humour and quips, the one where you say being dippy then immediatley say "dont answer that" also the hotel has a pool " i have a bath" you have a honest and down to earth sense of homour which is probably why your in-laws like to speak to you about certain things. Again another smile, Heightend your neckline with a nappy pin, bless her, 

Wow you are an early bird, 5.30am but its so nice you have time out for yourself, and even hlp out friends in their garden, you really do love your gardening dont you, and sounds like you do a profesional job, bet it looks amazing, I bet it was wonderful to see your little sister on face time it is amazing isnt it technology, brings people together, and helps with seperation. My grandsons love face time, they can go on forever, but get carried away sometimes wanting to say their bit and interupting each other.

So glad your son's Buck night went well, they can so easliy get out of hand can't they, it was so thoughtful and kind of him to call you and put your mind at ease, what a great guy.

I do understand about life, and once again you are right, but it is hard to carry on even though we know we understand more than most how precious life is and each minute of each day has to be treasured, but to be truely honest, and I know you have helped alot it feels like an existance rather than a life, i feel ashamed, guilty, embarrassed, what ever you want to call it, every time i laugh out loud the thought is there. But as i have said before since chatting to you on this line i have got better in dealing with it. I am making progress, and thats down to you so again i would like to thank you so much, hope i dont set you off when i say whats on my mind, i would never want to halt  or slow your progess with getting on with your life after your deverstating loss.

The sons taps are complete, a minor adjustment due to not having the correct fittings but we have had a chat and he now know what is required, but the taps are fitted and the water is flowing.

Got my skydiving jump date today, 6-5-15, 0930 hours so just hope the weather holds out.

Thank you Kathy, Take great care, you are a very special person with special values, Kind regards Paul x

Hi there again Kathy, sorry about my last post to you, I am offloading my thoughts to you but you have enough to think about with your son's wedding coming up, with all you have to think about in preparing yourself for that magical day it is wrong for me to burden you, I am truely sorry, please forgive me, I must think more before I type away. Once again, so sorry, take care, kind regards Paul x 

Hi Paul,
Don't be a plonker (have watched too many episodes of only fools and horses).  You have not burdened me at all.  
This is the place to offload and goodness knows I have done enough of it.
Just composing a longer message so bear with me.
Kathy 
 

Hi Paul,
Hope you are feeling better.  How is the tooth?  Just tried to send you another pic of Dice but it's not working or it's just the operators lack of know how...
Glad you got the tap issue fixed.
Visited the in laws tdy which was nice, we turned TV on at 3 pm to watch the chase and the 2 of them promptly fell asleep.  Gee I must be really boring company....
Took an equagel cushion up for MIL which prevents bedsores ( I had two for hubby) as used on recliner, outdoor chair and wheelchair and thought would save me running from one to the next when he was still able to walk)
As she has bedsore on heel from hospitalisation I thought we could avoid one ( on bot) due to sitting too long as she gets up during the night and sleeps in recliner.
They mentioned they wanted to get her a stick, I smiled and said got one you can have, then mentioned they were thinking of getting a circulation booster for feet, guess what.... I smiled and said got one you can have.  So a few goodies I will take up on next visit.  
When I got home ( been away for 8 hours) Dice came in and promptly fell asleep on bed.
MIL has issue with swollen legs weeping after hip replacement.  She is not heavy so a vein or cardio issue.
DIL (to be) will drop in on them on Thurs for a visit.    She lives a further 40 km away from them.  She is a good girl.
Tomorrow I will look for dress to wear at wedding. 11 more sleeps till family arrive.  I feel like a kid on countdown to Christmas.  Oh my goodness there will be some cup pas and talking around the kitchen table.  I feel the kitchen is the hub of the home and have great memories of being a child with a Rayburn in the kitchen which you could cook on and also heated the water for baths.
Good on you for having date for skyjump.  I think you are very brave.  I couldn't do it.  I get wobbly stepping on a kitchen stool.
How's Sheba? Does she snore?
Went to bed last night and cat turned on touch lamp, little minx and after getting his cuddles snuggled down on bed but I unfortunately couldn't reach to turn it off. Grrrrr.
Your weather should be improving now.  Do people have rain water tanks over there?
I don't know how to put it.  To lose a loved one is so cruel, but we must go on.  It's like part of you is missing and it is, but we have to be strong and keep on going.  We have to be thankful we knew that person and are so much enriched end by that experience, and they have helped us in maturing into the people we are now.  I don't know if this making any sense...but we have to keep plodding on and we do.
Cat becoming quite vocal these days, it's 1.45 am and no way can he com into letting him out.  Good try though.
Well Paul, I will bid you goodnight and head to bed soon.  All the best
Kathy x

j

[[]]Dice on bed

Hi Kathy, thank you for being so understanding, it was a while after I posted my reply when I though what an idiot, fancy writing that, so I thought it was only right to send one saying sorry, but deep down I did think you would understand. My tooth ache has gone along with my tooth, lunch time today, but just bit into an apple and nearly hit the roof, think I have a hole in my tooth, at the top near the back, so sensitive, I am also off the paracetamol now so we shall see tomorrow if my cold has gone. Oh my god, just over a week till your house is full of love, laughter and tea bags, none of you will need a bed, you will be catching up all night, you are a very tough lady and you will be OK, my thoughts and good wishes will be with you. 

You asked if Sheba snores, she does actually, but it's a nice snore if that makes sense it's a sort of a purry type of snore, she really is good for me, so understanding, and so loveable, I lay awake at night listening to her breath, (purr,)snore)). And she is keeping me fit, I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Your last paragraph was word perfect, it is everything you said and more, have you ever thought of taking this sort of thing for a living, there is a lot of people out there that need someone like you, and you would be totally amazing, bringing so many people out of a deep sadness, I can see you name in the paper now "Kathy the Bereavement specialist awarded MBE for her work" seriously you have a great sense of humour, a way with words and speech, strong, and sadly the experience. Think about it please.

Rayburn oh my goodness, we had a Rayburn, I used to clear the ash away and grind it up into powder, and I'm sure my dad used to scatter it on the garden and add water to paint the fruit trees, or was I dreaming that bit, but I don't think so, you are a garden expert, bet you know if it's a help in some way to the garden.

Been driving the hospice bus today, took three to the hospice in wheelchairs, and it was Rose's birthday a few days ago, she asked if I had been given any birthday cake, I said I had not seen any so, when I went to pick her up to take her home, she had some wrapped up for me, now wasn't that really nice, such lovely people all of them.

Take great care of yourself Kathy, by the time you get this there shall be only ten more sleeps yippee.

Kind regards Paul x, by the way did get the picture, Dice looks nice and relaxed, funny but that's how Sheba is laying right now.....

Hi Kathy, thank you for being so understanding, it was a while after I posted my reply when I though what an idiot, fancy writing that, so I thought it was only right to send one saying sorry, but deep down I did think you would understand. My tooth ache has gone along with my tooth, lunch time today, but just bit into an apple and nearly hit the roof, think I have a hole in my tooth, at the top near the back, so sensitive, I am also off the paracetamol now so we shall see tomorrow if my cold has gone. Oh my god, just over a week till your house is full of love, laughter and tea bags, none of you will need a bed, you will be catching up all night, you are a very tough lady and you will be OK, my thoughts and good wishes will be with you. 

You asked if Sheba snores, she does actually, but it's a nice snore if that makes sense it's a sort of a purry type of snore, she really is good for me, so understanding, and so loveable, I lay awake at night listening to her breath, (purr,)snore)). And she is keeping me fit, I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Your last paragraph was word perfect, it is everything you said and more, have you ever thought of taking this sort of thing for a living, there is a lot of people out there that need someone like you, and you would be totally amazing, bringing so many people out of a deep sadness, I can see you name in the paper now "Kathy the Bereavement specialist awarded MBE for her work" seriously you have a great sense of humour, a way with words and speech, strong, and sadly the experience. Think about it please.

Rayburn oh my goodness, we had a Rayburn, I used to clear the ash away and grind it up into powder, and I'm sure my dad used to scatter it on the garden and add water to paint the fruit trees, or was I dreaming that bit, but I don't think so, you are a garden expert, bet you know if it's a help in some way to the garden.

Been driving the hospice bus today, took three to the hospice in wheelchairs, and it was Rose's birthday a few days ago, she asked if I had been given any birthday cake, I said I had not seen any so, when I went to pick her up to take her home, she had some wrapped up for me, now wasn't that really nice, such lovely people all of them.

Take great care of yourself Kathy, by the time you get this there shall be only ten more sleeps yippee.

Kind regards Paul x, by the way did get the picture, Dice looks nice and relaxed, funny but that's how Sheba is laying right now.....

Hi Paul. I did try and send you a message last night but lost it. My error not website.
It's so strange sitting inside and shows temp at 28 can handle hotter  weather better.. But too Scottish to put cooler on. Then again maybe I should.... I used to be indecisive but now I don't know..."
Thank you for your very kind words.    I could not train to be a councillor, it would take too many years and to much psychobabble involved. I just believe in speaking from the heart and if I can get the message across that's all good.
It is a bit hard through written text as the receiver can't see the eye contact and body language but that's life.
Had a few mates around for lunch and made home made pizzas.  Now too late to make home made dog food, but that will 
 be job for tomorrow.
10 more sleeps, can hardly contain myself. Don't know if I have told you of how this came bout - the family coming across- happy to tell you the story of how it's happened another time.  Don't want to bore you.
Just turned over to the Brit awards  no idea who the gobeens presenting it were, must say Madonna  for an old chook performed very well.  

Best wishes, Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy, didn't think I explained myself very well with regards to helping other poeple, when I go to the hospital Saturdays the volunteers there only have  twelve days training, basically learning what not to say, so I've been told, but because they have experienced the heartache they immediately understand how the other person is feeling and have the ability to give guidance and reassurance on what may lay ahead, but as you say your heart speaks for you and your compassion to help would reassure anyone, sorry i didnt want to sound pushy, it's just the way you have helped me, that's the reason I praise you so much. 

The last couple of days have been different, Sheba was jumping around on the bed while I was trying to set up to do a bit of ironing, so joined in around the edge of the bed, poor Sheba got so excited she wet herself, that will teach me,  so packed up,the ironing and because our cover blanket is huge I had to wash it in the bath, so glad it wasn't raining, so I could hang it out, and today when I picked George up from school he was sobbing, so off we went home and he was not well at all, I managed to get him to eat his lunch, but he was so teary I put him in our bed, he was asleep in five minutes, really felt for him. 

It's a long day in the office tomorrow, Mark pops in to let Sheba out and feed her so she's ok then it's home, a walk with Sheba and a bottle of red when I settle down the the next day it's hospital day, I do like to go along, as you have pointed out when we are chatting you can see their concern you can hear the compassion in their voice, hand there is h hug if anyone needs it, and it doesn't matter if there are tears, they are wonderful  Poeple.

How many of your family are coming over, sounds like the whole clan wil be there, well the more the merrier and it will make you and your son feel so proud, you will have a great time , and the very best to you all and I know you will enjoy every minute of each hour that passes, guess who tought me that.

Take great care of yourself, kind regards Paul 

Hi Paul,
You poor thing having to wash the big blanket.  how long did it take to dry. Poor Sheba too , getting so excited.
How's young George?
Mum (88) and 2 sisters ,63 and 57 coming.  I have 4 sisters and 1 brother and we are very close.  I intend going home in June 2017 for mums 90th, all going well and we will all be together for that special occasion.
Back in Feb 2014 when the kids set the date I asked if anyone from the family would be able to be here (I plan things well in advance).  Unfortunately the answer then was no, mum too old and the girls wouldn't be able to get time off work.  I did understands

 as it is a long journey. So that was that.  I was a wee bit disappointed but accepted it.
In November ( I returned to work 03/11) knowing that I was being retrenched with the rest of the dept I emailed home offering 2 return tickets for any other family members to come across for the wedding.  I thought it would be nice for the kids to have someone from my side of the family there.
Lo and behold next morning mother rang asking if there was room for 3 visitors.  I was beside myself, so happy, but wait there's more....  They had actually made the booking when hubby passed away but were not going to tell me till Christmas thinking my spirits would need a lift.  How marvellous are they.???  I am so very fortunate to be so loved.
I managed to motivate myself today and go to the shops to look for a wedding outfit.  I was quite disappointed at the materials being used and poor stitching as well as plastic zips and that was in a posh shop.  
Cut a long story short I found a dress which I will be able to wear again at a good price.  Yes there will lots of cuppas and chatting going on.  I will be packing so much into those hours.  One sis is a real night owl so I think it will mean late nights and early rises for me.  Mum would like to visit Adelaide museum and one sis would like a visit to the wineries.  Quiz nights are on the agenda and lots of time with the young ones. Ten pin bowling has been mentioned on the to do list and of course spending time with hubby's family.

better send this before I have probs.

Kathy xx

Hi Kathy, just got over a bad couple of days, really down on the dumps, just couldn't seem to lift myself out if my gloom, but feeling better now. I really am so lucky to have Sheba, she does try to help, bless her, but last night she was a right wally, because it had been raining I didn't fancy walking over the fields, so walked along the canal bank, Sheba was running up and down, in front and behind me when suddenly, she thought I will give old misery guts something to laugh about, she jumped in the canal, soon turned around and got out, it must have been freezing, silly girl, but we got home, gave her a real rub down and soon we where cuddled up on the settee. I honestly think she does those things to cheer me up.

It sounds as though you have a wonderful family, it is going to be a magical time when you are all together, the excitement will keep you going while your family are with you, bet you sleep solid for days after they have gone home. It's going to be quite special for your son and in laws to have everyone together,. There will be some emotional times but you are a very strong lady and I know hubby will be there with you every single minute, I sincerely hope it is a magical day for you all.

I have two brothers and three sisters, we do try to get together every other month for a meal, but usually I back out, but I do feel (and its with your help, to be more positive) I must try a little harder to socialise a little more must meet up and stop feeling sorry for myself. The two elder sisters 67, 65, are very outgoing, the eldest is over in Australia now with her daughter, Brisbane , they have been over ther a month now so should be back end of this month, then my other sister and two brothers are younger, I'm 63, then it's 56, 54 and the baby being 45, sadly mum and dad have passed away, they both worked very hard, but dad was very strict, but then none of us where ever in trouble so it was a good thing, think those people at that time (born 1920's ish had a hard life), 

Sheba is fast asleep now after our walk, so I think it's time for something to eat then  watch England Ireland rugby. 

I rang up Thursday evening to see how George was, he was fine, but didn't want to go to bed, but then rang in the morning and he was back to his usual self, fighting with his little brother Henry over a toy, they have hundreds of toys but always want the same one. They never fight when granddad has got them, think mums too soft, but it won't help in the long term, but can't interfere.

 Really do appreciate our chats, it does help, but never want to burden you, I know you have lots to do in this up and coming week and will be fully engrossed in you family and the wedding, so please enjoy your family, we can hopefully catch up after that amazing wedding day and you have recovered from exhaustion, and that's a nice sort of exhaustion 

Take great care Kathy kind regards Paul x

Hi Paul,
Just typed you a huge email and lost it grrrr.
From memory, how amazing our pets are, so intuitive.  Did laugh at your tale of Sheba in the canal, guess she had frozen assets. 
I understand how hard it is to force yourself to go out, I do too but don't want to let my mates down so push myself to do so.
If you are ever feeling down, please Paul come on the site.  There will be someone on line who can offer empathy and support.  I honestly don't know where I would be without the love and support of this chat sites members.
Lady up the road,  my new friend saw me out the front chopping back a bush and came over.  She desperately needed to vent which was all good so came out the back where we chatted.  She lives with one of her children and it can't always be easy.  She has my phone number but as I am usually home she knows she can just arrive unannounced, there is nothing I can't postpone (especially housework)' always glad of an excuse to stop.  She stated I have come into her life at the right time.  Isn't that sweet.
I really should start wearing gardening gloves or I will going to the wedding with the hands of a navvy.
Plenty more chopping to do but little by little I will get there.
So excited at family's impending arrival, but also aware of a big deflation after the visit. But will face that then, not before.  This will be the last visit for mum and these 2 siblings as they are not getting any younger and its a long journey.
In the meantime I plan to pamper them, what joy.
Better sign off before I lose this message, that would really cheese me off.
Take care Paul, big hugs to you and Sheba, give her a pat from me if you don't mind.
Kathy x

Hi Kathy, isn't it terrible when you have writen two or three nice paragraphs and you loss them, i have done the same usually blame it on the ipad but deep down i know its me. All animals have this wonderful sence of being don't they they know when something is wrong and they do help if possible with cuddles and just being there when you need them, i am aware how good Sheba is for me and must reward her more.

It is wonderful how you are helping so many poeple, you are a good listener and assist with the perfect advice, well done Kathy be proud of yourself, told you, you had the gift. 

Its amazing the outlook you have on life, here is me stating you will need two days sleep to catch up when your family have returned home, and your look on that is i will give my family the best time ever and and will worry about myself later. You have a big heart Kathy , good on you.

Sheba and i are off out now as its Treetops later on today, i'm off to a meeting about the bus driving then taking a lady home from the bereavment centre, we are not told of their, circumstances, but obviously chat as we drive to their home. Hope the centre is helping her. Then tomorrow i'm off to see another retired soldier who has had cancer but got through it, fantastic to hear isn't it, this guy just want's help to get back to work, how amazing, so we shall have a chat on his options and get him on a course of his choosing and hopefully his life can begin once more, What a brilliant guy, i have lots of time for people like that, then Thursday it's little George, so keeping busy, and that help's so much as you know.

Sheba keeps giving me a nudge, thinks she want to go for a run.

Take great care Kathy, and once again thank you for being there for me, aprt from a little glitch here and there i am getting stonger, Thank you.

Kind regards Paul x