Hi , I know just how you feel because my husband died on July 23rd of pancreas cancer  and I can't seem to except he has gone .I also cry a lot and keep seeing him everywhere I go .He was only 58 years old and we have been together 27  years .We have a son but he has his own life .I have no family but my husband had many relations and they have been fantastic towards me but it still does not take  this lonely empty feeling away. I get told life still goes on but I am finding it hard to imagine what my life will be like without him

Hi, I too know the feeling. My husband died August 29,2015 from pancreatic cancer 12 months after he was diagnosed and just shy of reaching the one year mark from having the whipple surgery. Every day is a struggle. We were together 18 years. He was 62. I work full time but but even that does not help much. I find myself crying on the way to work, on the way home and at work. Weekends and evenings seem to be the hardest. I have three grown children. My eldest son married this past August and I had to go without my husband because he was too ill. My only consolation is that we had eleven months and in those months we said everything to each other that there was to say. I was able to keep him home with the help of pallitive care so he was in the comfort of his home when he passed away. I think this was the best decision because right up to the day before he passed away he was still able to understand and get up out of bed when he needed to. I think if he was in the hospital he would have been under heavy pain medication and confined to bed. One thing I did realize going through this is that death itself is not to be feared. This experience was very peaceful. I don't know how to move on. Its been almost three months and the only positive thing is that I am able to remember my Husband as he was prior to the cancer and I can recall memories that we created together. I came to this site pretty much because we do not have alot of options in Canada. There are no support groups for pancreatic cancer and during my husbands illness we only ran into one other person in the hospital with it. That is not to say that there were not more, just none that we came across. Our surgeon was reall thorough and apparently performs many whipple operations a year. What is so frustrating about this cancer is there is no awareness. We were lucky that my husband's doctor did not waste any time when he went to her with symptoms. She immediately ordered tests and ct scan. Within a week we knew that it was pancreatic cancer. This cancer is one of the worst that I have seen and what it does to the body is tragic. My new job is to try to figure out how to live without my husband as he was my life in the best way possible.

Hi, I too know the feeling. My husband died August 29,2015 from pancreatic cancer 12 months after he was diagnosed and just shy of reaching the one year mark from having the whipple surgery. Every day is a struggle. We were together 18 years. He was 62. I work full time but but even that does not help much. I find myself crying on the way to work, on the way home and at work. Weekends and evenings seem to be the hardest. I have three grown children. My eldest son married this past August and I had to go without my husband because he was too ill. My only consolation is that we had eleven months and in those months we said everything to each other that there was to say. I was able to keep him home with the help of pallitive care so he was in the comfort of his home when he passed away. I think this was the best decision because right up to the day before he passed away he was still able to understand and get up out of bed when he needed to. I think if he was in the hospital he would have been under heavy pain medication and confined to bed. One thing I did realize going through this is that death itself is not to be feared. This experience was very peaceful. I don't know how to move on. Its been almost three months and the only positive thing is that I am able to remember my Husband as he was prior to the cancer and I can recall memories that we created together. I came to this site pretty much because we do not have alot of options in Canada. There are no support groups for pancreatic cancer and during my husbands illness we only ran into one other person in the hospital with it. That is not to say that there were not more, just none that we came across. Our surgeon was reall thorough and apparently performs many whipple operations a year. What is so frustrating about this cancer is there is no awareness. We were lucky that my husband's doctor did not waste any time when he went to her with symptoms. She immediately ordered tests and ct scan. Within a week we knew that it was pancreatic cancer. This cancer is one of the worst that I have seen and what it does to the body is tragic. My new job is to try to figure out how to live without my husband as he was my life in the best way possible.

Hello GeeBaby,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to hear John passed away shortly after you lost your dad. Our sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team.  It must be a very difficult time for you at the moment. You will meet many on this forum who have also lost their partner or a parent recently. Sometimes, it can help to talk to someone who can really understand how you are feeling at the moment. 

I would suggest you also start your own thread in our Coping with Loss topic area so that more of our members can see your message straight away. You can find out more about how to start your own discussion here.

Warmest wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi I too know how you are feeling,I lost my partner ray 4 weeks ago to pancreatic cancer a year after being diagnosed and 11 months after having the major Whipple surgery.after having the Whipple surgery we were told the outcome was very positive and only a short cycle of oral chemotherapy would be needed to sweep up any microscopic cells then after a routine MRI it showed there were several lesions on the liver so iv chemo would be needed but they were still hopeful as were we because ray still felt so well even though in the back of my mind being a nurse myself alarm bells were ringing knowing that in reality pancreatic cancer is one of the worst and once in the liver it is usually final.after 3 cycles of palliative chemo we were told there was nothing left to be done and it was now terminal and to expect 6 months at best,ray lasted 3 months but passed very peacefully with myself at his side leaving me a widow at 37, it all feels very raw at the moment but I know we all grieve differently and time is a great healer,I'm very lucky to have a very supportive family and friends and I cannot thank and praise the staff at the hospital enough they really are a very great team,I hope noone else has to go through this dreadful disease and loss but know plenty will unless more research is put into pancreatic cancer as it is so difficult to detect and all too often too late.

Hello I lost my partner danniella on the 22 march 2018 we were together for 18 years she was 39 I lost her to cervical cancer stage 4 I am lost without her all I seem to do is cry all the time and stand by her grave side and stair and talk to her I am 44 and a widow I have my family around me I no they mean well but it's not her but people say time is a great healer I hope so people say you will get over it how do you get over someone you love so much I keep thinking she will walk through the door but I no she won't people say you will meet someone else but I don't ever think it will be the same I could never love any one the way I love my danniella I am heart broken at the thought of living my life without her I miss her every day and I always will cancer is cruel

I lost my husband to bowel cancer on 10 March 2018. We had been married 43 years and been together since we were seventeen. We have four children who have been very good but have to move on with their own lives. They do not understand what to say to me and I know they worry. I am totally devastated. I just want to curl up and die. I find it very hard to carry on alone. I can't see much point in anything anymore. I don't know if this ever gets better. My soulmate has left me and I am even angry with him for going. People tell me it will get easier every day. So far that is untrue. I am so lonely without him. 

Dear Everyone...

It is going to be 6 months tomorrow since i lost my baby. And as Penny13, I am still angry. Everytime I see something I talk to the air hoping he is listening...

People say  "it gets easier..." in some way I see what they are saying but in others, I miss him so much and wish he could be with me.

I found this article on the web... that you probably can relate and help. Here is a quote from it. 

“And since these days and times and triggers aren’t obvious to most people in our lives (and since we don’t have the time or the words to describe them all), they are usually unaware of just how much and just how often we mourn. Even those who are closest to us and care for us greatly remain largely oblivious to our recurring sadness. Our grief can feel like a very lonely journey, which in many ways it is because it is specific to us and to the one we’ve lost. It is a customized but hidden wound.”

johnpavlovitz.com/.../

Hi there thank you so much for sharing. I just came across your post and read the article you referenced. It is really on point as every little thing helps in this grieving process. I also lost my husband to this wicked disease, we were married for a short time and so much looking forward to living the rest of our lives together. We had such love and were happiest when together.

It was unbelievably painful when he was diagnosed we were shocked because he was never sick, very healthy looking, a big beautiful body builder. He lost so much weight and was in so much pain that I was relieved that he was free from that body wrecked by cancer but so devastated to lose him. It was 9 months ago and although I'm coping much better I miss him and long for him every day. He's always in my thoughts and I know he'll never leave my heart.

Thanks again for sharing, we never know when a word will help another "griever" yours really helped me. Hugs xo

Yes Ricky cancer is so cruel took the love of my life too