Hi HAYLEYJOHN

Welcome to Cancer Chat where I know you will receive the help and support you so desperately need at this sad time.

I am so sorry to read of your loss, I can fully understand your feelings just now as I too have recently lost my husband, he died in March of this year.

There is no formula to follow in this bereavement process, everyone grieves differently but being able to write about it helps at least I think so. It is very early days for you, I am a little further down the road but never the less still feel terribly lonely and lost. It is a matter of taking one day at a time and trying to keep occupied but change your routine from the one that you had with your husband, I found things most distressing when following previous routine. It also helps to try and get out and about - difficult I know but perservere with it.

You say you are alone, does this mean you have no immediate family? I am alone at home but have a daughter and family who live 30 minutes away and a son and family who are 4 hours away, both families have been very supportive but I am very conscious that they have their lives to lead as well as supporting me so try not to impose on them too much or too often,

I could go on much more but will make this do for now and hope we can support each other through this long and painful journey. Keep posting, take care and my thoughts are with you. Rodis.

Hi HAYLEYJOHN

Welcome to Cancer Chat where I know you will receive the help and support you so desperately need at this sad time.

I am so sorry to read of your loss, I can fully understand your feelings just now as I too have recently lost my husband, he died in March of this year.

There is no formula to follow in this bereavement process, everyone grieves differently but being able to write about it helps at least I think so. It is very early days for you, I am a little further down the road but never the less still feel terribly lonely and lost. It is a matter of taking one day at a time and trying to keep occupied but change your routine from the one that you had with your husband, I found things most distressing when following previous routine. It also helps to try and get out and about - difficult I know but perservere with it.

You say you are alone, does this mean you have no immediate family? I am alone at home but have a daughter and family who live 30 minutes away and a son and family who are 4 hours away, both families have been very supportive but I am very conscious that they have their lives to lead as well as supporting me so try not to impose on them too much or too often,

I could go on much more but will make this do for now and hope we can support each other through this long and painful journey. Keep posting, take care and my thoughts are with you. Rodis.

Hi i'm so sorry for your lose. I am not on my own i have family all that live close by. My mum comes over all the time but to be honest she just gets on my nerves with all her fussing and she doesnt listen when i ask her not to do jobs round my house as it takes thing that keep me busy away from me. I know she cares but it is too much and i find myself telling her that am ging out so that she wont come over. My other family have their own lives and dont bother too much but then tey have alwas been like that.

The one thing that has really upset me is that my husband had 4 sons from a previous marriage and 2 of them after the will was read found out that everything went to me they have not spoken to me since and one of them has actually said that as far as he is concerned i am dead to him and his family, and he has stopped me seeing the grandchildren. I find this so painful and miss them so much. The other son had done the same but has recently had a change of heart and has apologised, which is great and i am due to see my grandaughters this week. I have still not seen my new grandson though and this hurts but he will never back down and say sorry so this is something else i am going to have to live with. I made promises to my husband that i cannot keep and i have never not kept a promise so i feel like i'm letting him down by not being able to see and watchover the grandchildren.

My head feels like its swimming and swirling around all the time. I have tried to go out and meet up with friends but everytime i get in a crowd of people i carnt cope and feel like i am being suffocated so i have to leave and go home and its only when i am in the house i feel comfortable. I am forcing myself to go somewhere every day as i dont want to end up being unable to go out. I feel like i have been hit by a tram, 6 months ago i had a wonderful husband who i absolutley adore, and a fabulous life without a care in the world. Everything has happened so quickly and i feel robbed, its like someone has taken my life away and given me someone elses. I know in my head that he isnt ever coming back but my heart aches so much and i carnt ever imagine it getting better even though i am told a least twice a day that time is a great healer.

How have you managed since your husband passed away?

sorry to have gone on a bit and thanks for reading this x Hayley

Hi Hayley,

Do not worry about 'going on' as that is what this site is really all about, allowing you to put your feelings and concerns down also for other members to give their stories.

Not too sure how I have managed over the last six months but I have got by and will continue to do so despite my own health problems which have appeared since my husband died.

I try to keep busy,fundraising for Cancer Research UK and I do one or more sessions in the charity shop. There are times when things are difficult but you have to 'weather the storm' and battle on. There are always notable days that you have to get over but find that in some instances things do get slightly easier. Things will never be the same but that's life. Take care. Rodis.

My Husband passed in April this year after spending 5 months in hospital diagnosed with  burkitt Lymphoma. We were Soul Mates and I miss him terribly. I have grieved constantly but seemed to be moving forward. Now I am finding every day a struggle. We had no children but I do have close friends who help me a lot and yet at the minute nothing is easing the grief I feel at his loss. I go out and keep busy but am beginning to wonder if I should seek more help yet I don't feel I can talk to anyone who didn't know My Husband about My loss. I sleep a lot and it helps but the festive season is looming and I am wondering how I am going to cope.

Dear Toshi.

Very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. My darling Richard passed away end of November of secondary liver  cancer of unknown primary . No signs but some little pain on the right side considered initially a strained... just came back fom holidays,  back to work  went to the assessment centre 1st/11 diagnosed and in process of invetigating primary.  one week in hospital and all our  dreams were  gone for ever. All too soon to quick,  no time to think, plan ,digest.  Right to the last second we hopped there would be treatment......

We  had no children. He was a wonderful wonderful man, kind ,gentle .dedicated to nephews and nieces.  He was like  a father to them. My soul mate my world.  We were looking forward  to our retirement and finally have free time  to do anything and everything.. without  counting annual leave from work. 

I feel lonely even when  surrounded by people. No motivation or interest and  nothing matters anymore. 

I hope Toshi  we can find that answer  we are looking for. !

  I miss not hearing his voice , touching his face. Miss ,his cuddles and those funny moments when we were silly. 

We need to have faith . Although I am saying it i cant still believe that he is not with me ........