Hello Joanny

I hear you its my first xmas without my husband too

It really is one day at a time isnt it 

Having support is good ....I just hang on to the thought he isnt in pain anymore.....no one deserves that .....

Sending kind wishes 

RB

Thank you 

So Christmas Day is almost over. It’s been manageable because everything has been different today. No normal routine at all. That’s what my daughter and I planned because nothing will ever be the same without her lovely dad. But now that I’m getting ready for bed the tears have come. Missing some one you love is so heartbreaking. Thinking of all of you others out there coping as best as you can too. Let’s try to remember the happy Christmas times and focus on carrying on as best as we can. I know that’s what my husband would’ve wanted x

Hi Joanny,

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's passing and send my sincerest sympathy.

You've got the right mind set and you will get there. The first year after losing a loved one is particularly hard, especially at special times like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. They bring all those treasured memories to the fore and life can feel very lonely. Grief is a very individual thing and we all come to terms with it in our own time and at our own pace. 

I am glad to see that you have had your daughter and son-in-law to support you and to do something completely different today. I am sure that your husband will have been watching over you all with great pride at the way you have coped. You will never forget him. There will always be a place for him in your heart. You will gradually come to accept your loss. It sounds as if your life has been on hold since he died. You will both gradually come to terms with what has happened and begin to live life again - this is what he would have wanted.

Don't worry about shedding those tears. Crying is always a great stress reliever. Your Golden Wedding anniversary tomorrow will be another sad day - what a pity that he never made it to see this special day in person. Do you have a nice photograph of him? I found it helpful to have one in a prominent place, where I could talk to my loved one when I passed by. I hope that you can still raise a glass to his photo tomorrow and remember happier times.

We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Rhubarbdragon,

I hope that you have managed to get through today without evoking too many upsetting memories. I agree that the fact that your husband is no longer in pain is a great solace - there is nothing worse than watching a loved one suffer and being unable to ease the suffering. I'm sure that you are still missing him and I do hope that you are getting support from family and friends.

Thinking of you and as you know, we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks so much Jolamine xx

Hi Joanny,

I've been thinking of you all day today. How did you get on?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine 

Thankyou for taking time to think of me it is very kind of you.

I am relieved the day is over and we

( offspring and I)

Made it through as it were.

In truth it was kinda nice quiet calm and no worrying about hubbys health like last year ....that was his last one and hard in other ways. Yes I cry but I know the feelings will pass like all things do and its okay to be sad but also it is okay to laugh too ....

Im grateful for all the support from CRUK members through all of this journey supporting loved ones with cancer. Thank you  it is a warming thought that someone is thinking kindly of you ......

Sending love and positive energy to you and anyone who needs it 

Stronger together RB