Hello Joanny

I hear you its my first xmas without my husband too

It really is one day at a time isnt it 

Having support is good ....I just hang on to the thought he isnt in pain anymore.....no one deserves that .....

Sending kind wishes 

RB

Hi Rhubarbdragon,

I hope that you have managed to get through today without evoking too many upsetting memories. I agree that the fact that your husband is no longer in pain is a great solace - there is nothing worse than watching a loved one suffer and being unable to ease the suffering. I'm sure that you are still missing him and I do hope that you are getting support from family and friends.

Thinking of you and as you know, we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks so much Jolamine xx

Hi Joanny,

I've been thinking of you all day today. How did you get on?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine 

Thankyou for taking time to think of me it is very kind of you.

I am relieved the day is over and we

( offspring and I)

Made it through as it were.

In truth it was kinda nice quiet calm and no worrying about hubbys health like last year ....that was his last one and hard in other ways. Yes I cry but I know the feelings will pass like all things do and its okay to be sad but also it is okay to laugh too ....

Im grateful for all the support from CRUK members through all of this journey supporting loved ones with cancer. Thank you  it is a warming thought that someone is thinking kindly of you ......

Sending love and positive energy to you and anyone who needs it 

Stronger together RB

Hi Jolamine 

Thankyou for taking time to think of me it is very kind of you.

I am relieved the day is over and we

( offspring and I)

Made it through as it were.

In truth it was kinda nice quiet calm and no worrying about hubbys health like last year ....that was his last one and hard in other ways. Yes I cry but I know the feelings will pass like all things do and its okay to be sad but also it is okay to laugh too ....

Im grateful for all the support from CRUK members through all of this journey supporting loved ones with cancer. Thank you  it is a warming thought that someone is thinking kindly of you ......

Sending love and positive energy to you and anyone who needs it 

Stronger together RB

Hi Rhubarbdragon,

Well done for making it through. I agree that it is good not to have to worry about your hubby's health, as you did last year, but we are all contrary beings and in other ways, I'm sure that you would rather he was still here. You wouldn't still grieve, if you hadn't loved him and unfortunately, the downside of unconditional love, is often manifested in great grief. I am glad to hear that there were some smiles amongst the tears and I'm sure that, if he's watching, he would be glad to hear the occasional laugh, from you and your family. What family do you have? I am sorry, I'm sure that you've told us - my hubby has been seriously ill and in hospital for the past few months and, as a result, I have not kept fully up to date with all posts.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Jolamine 

I am sorry to hear your hubby's health has meant he is in hospital for a long time. 

I can only imagine how hard that is for both of you. 

It is very hard to think about it when you are in the middle of hospital visiting and active treatment but for my hubby he was diagnosed late and fought cancer to the very end ....

It was painful to see and to be fair he is at rest now and we can heal.

I can only send wife strength to you Jolamine and comfort for your husband .

Stay connected I utilised counselling to help me through

Kindest wishes RB 

Hi Rhubarbdragon,

Thank you for your kind words. 

My hubby's health has been a challenge for the past 30 years, when he had a quadruple heart by-pass followed by a stroke and pneumonia. At that time he had to give up work. Since then he has added several TIAs, Diabetes, Vascular Parkinson's Disease, Vascular Dementia, Bowen's Disease, 2 bouts of skin cancer, problems with swelling and walking, regular collapses and end stage heart failure to the list. We have both limped along collecting new ailments as we go and are happy to see the dawn of each new day.

I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer after a horrific 12 year battle with the disease. I also lost my father-in-law to cancer. He died only 6 days after diagnosis. Both ends were really painful to watch. I am glad to hear that you have sought counselling. I used this myself when I was undergoing active treatment and found it very helpful.

I love the terminology "wife strength" - it conjures up all sorts of pictures in my mind and reminds me that we can do so much more than we imagine and can find the extra strength that is needed, in the face of adversity.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx