I have recently lost my mum through cancer. I was diagnosed with grade 3 borderline 4 breast cancer and then a year later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, no primary known. She was my life, my world and my best friend. I cared for her at home in her last months and we were promised they would be able to keep her pain under control and she would be comfortable. This wasn’t the case.
before things got too bad, In her time alone she tried to kill herself as she felt things were going downhill for her and she didn’t want us seeing her like that and caring for her and she didn’t want it for herself. This failed and only made things worse.
My mum died at home with us all around her but it was far from a peaceful death. It was horrendous and no matter what I do I can’t get it out of my head. I try to think of the good times but her last moments haunt me how do you ever get past something like that with someone you love so much. My life has stopped. I can’t function. And on top of it I try and be there for my dad who has lost his wife of 51yrs.
i just don’t know how long I can keep going. You keep fighting after your own cancer and are weak and then loose your mum and your everything and every last bit of fight is drained out of you.
