I’m really struggling to understand death 

why is all I keep asking my self why is my dad of just 55yrs young no longer here and the answer is because of cancer 

we found out my dad had lung cancer on 16th November 2022 by October it had spread to his brain by January 5th we had to say goodbye 

my heart is just so broken 

we sat by his side that very night when the nurse told us he wouldn’t make it to the morning 

we held his hand told him how much we love him and watched him take his last breath (this is the part I struggle with most nights as I close my eyes I cry myself to sleep as this is the image I see like re watching my dad take his final breaths 

its almost a year now that we found out and I still really struggle with this and still cry most nights and see dad taking his last breath 

I’m exhausted emotionally drained and just really miss my dad being at the other end of the phone.   

There’s a chance no one will ever respond to this post but it has help me express my feelings in a way I find unable to in person ️