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Images of watching someone you love die

ljh89
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I’m really struggling to understand death 

why is all I keep asking my self why is my dad of just 55yrs young no longer here and the answer is because of cancer 

we found out my dad had lung cancer on 16th November 2022 by October it had spread to his brain by January 5th we had to say goodbye 

my heart is just so broken 

we sat by his side that very night when the nurse told us he wouldn’t make it to the morning 

we held his hand told him how much we love him and watched him take his last breath (this is the part I struggle with most nights as I close my eyes I cry myself to sleep as this is the image I see like re watching my dad take his final breaths 

its almost a year now that we found out and I still really struggle with this and still cry most nights and see dad taking his last breath 

I’m exhausted emotionally drained and just really miss my dad being at the other end of the phone.   

There’s a chance no one will ever respond to this post but it has help me express my feelings in a way I find unable to in person ️

Parents
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    I lost my mum on Saturday to cancer and like yourself I am struggling with the image of mum taking her last breath.    My mum was my best friend and I cannot imagine life without her x

  • Offline in reply to Mrs_Bg


    im so sorry to be reading your response 

    mums are definitely our best friends. I wish I had the words to make you feel ok a cyber hug x 

    I heard it gets easier but I just don’t understand how it’s been 9months for me and I still cry myself to sleep most nights      I bet your mum loved you so much and knows how much she was loved by you.. 

    sending you so much strength during this difficult time 

    feel free to come by again just for a chat 

    sending love x 

    lauta 

  • Offline in reply to ljh89

    Thank you.   Its really hard to talk to my friends or family as no one really understands the pain I feel inside.   I'm trying to keep busy but I just have this sad feeling inside of me all the time.   I know my mum would want me to be ok and carry on but inside I'm struggling massively.   

    I found a selfie video on my mums phone, mum wasn't great with phones so I don't think she realised she was taking a video but when I watch it it makes me smile as I love her little face so much but it hits me that I will never see her again.

    Sending you a big hug back xxxx

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  • Offline in reply to ljh89

    Thank you.   Its really hard to talk to my friends or family as no one really understands the pain I feel inside.   I'm trying to keep busy but I just have this sad feeling inside of me all the time.   I know my mum would want me to be ok and carry on but inside I'm struggling massively.   

    I found a selfie video on my mums phone, mum wasn't great with phones so I don't think she realised she was taking a video but when I watch it it makes me smile as I love her little face so much but it hits me that I will never see her again.

    Sending you a big hug back xxxx

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