That's incredibly traumatic to see this and be unable to help.

The 3 weeks must have felt like 3 years. 

I understand how badly it can impact you as my brother had a bad death from throat and lung cancer .I had nightmares so did my sister for probably 6 months but it did fade into happier memories of him.

My husband was completely traumatised at the death of our sons fiancee who had multiple cancers following bowel cancer that spread. He sat and held her hand all night and she got agitated a lot ,that's the body trying to get oxygen to the brain I think,not 100% sure but know it's common. 

Unfortunately getting medication for breakthrough pain fast can be hard, our daughter in.law to be opted to die at home and we had to get a doctor to sign off increase doses then nurse to administer it wasn't easy knowing her pain was bad and she begged me to help her more than once,  I  still cry thinking of my beautiful girl only 36 going through that.

When my brother died, I allowed myself a set amount of time to think about it all, then put it away in my head and did something to keep me busy. I reduced the time I allowed myself to think about it all gradually. 

I replaced some of the time with good memories and now I just have the good ones although seeing similar did bring it back but I knew what was happening so didn't panic so much.

I think counselling can help but in reality I think we stay in shock for longer than you may think. 

Big hugs  it's incredibly sad xxx

That's incredibly traumatic to see this and be unable to help.

The 3 weeks must have felt like 3 years. 

I understand how badly it can impact you as my brother had a bad death from throat and lung cancer .I had nightmares so did my sister for probably 6 months but it did fade into happier memories of him.

My husband was completely traumatised at the death of our sons fiancee who had multiple cancers following bowel cancer that spread. He sat and held her hand all night and she got agitated a lot ,that's the body trying to get oxygen to the brain I think,not 100% sure but know it's common. 

Unfortunately getting medication for breakthrough pain fast can be hard, our daughter in.law to be opted to die at home and we had to get a doctor to sign off increase doses then nurse to administer it wasn't easy knowing her pain was bad and she begged me to help her more than once,  I  still cry thinking of my beautiful girl only 36 going through that.

When my brother died, I allowed myself a set amount of time to think about it all, then put it away in my head and did something to keep me busy. I reduced the time I allowed myself to think about it all gradually. 

I replaced some of the time with good memories and now I just have the good ones although seeing similar did bring it back but I knew what was happening so didn't panic so much.

I think counselling can help but in reality I think we stay in shock for longer than you may think. 

Big hugs  it's incredibly sad xxx