There's no "should" with these things. And honestly, many, probably the majority of, people never have panic attacks or are unable to get out of bed due to unhappiness, no matter how bad things get. Those, while normal responses to grief are not something everybody who is really upset experiences.

I also think that sometimes when somebody has been ill a long time or is older, there is a sense that you have known it was coming and sometimes you almost grieve in advance.

When my dad died, I felt sort of...distracted for a number of weeks, like I wasn't functioning at my best at work and so on and there was one day when I felt weirdly anxious, not to the point of having panic attacks or anything like that, but like everything was stressing me. And that was it. I don't think I cried or even really felt unhappy. I think it was largely that while his actual death was pretty much out of the blue, he was in his 80s and had had cancer a few years previously, so I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that it was likely to happen sometime in the following five years or so, so at some unconscious level, I was somewhat prepared.

Your reaction sounds completely normal. I mean, not that there is any real "normal," but your reaction sounds pretty as close to "typical" as it's possible to get. Don't compare with other people. Their reactions are neither "better" nor "worse" than yours. People just react differently and being more visibly upset doesn't mean one loved the deceased person more.

There's no "should" with these things. And honestly, many, probably the majority of, people never have panic attacks or are unable to get out of bed due to unhappiness, no matter how bad things get. Those, while normal responses to grief are not something everybody who is really upset experiences.

I also think that sometimes when somebody has been ill a long time or is older, there is a sense that you have known it was coming and sometimes you almost grieve in advance.

When my dad died, I felt sort of...distracted for a number of weeks, like I wasn't functioning at my best at work and so on and there was one day when I felt weirdly anxious, not to the point of having panic attacks or anything like that, but like everything was stressing me. And that was it. I don't think I cried or even really felt unhappy. I think it was largely that while his actual death was pretty much out of the blue, he was in his 80s and had had cancer a few years previously, so I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that it was likely to happen sometime in the following five years or so, so at some unconscious level, I was somewhat prepared.

Your reaction sounds completely normal. I mean, not that there is any real "normal," but your reaction sounds pretty as close to "typical" as it's possible to get. Don't compare with other people. Their reactions are neither "better" nor "worse" than yours. People just react differently and being more visibly upset doesn't mean one loved the deceased person more.