Hi I recently lost my mum who was critically ill with palliative care and then 70 days later lost my dad too.We didn't even know he was ill.He was 81 went to doctor with an urine infection and he was also jaundice,blood tests carried out, then he had to go to hospital for tests a week after them

2 Days after being admitted to hospital he was on oxygen a 5cm was found on his pancreas which had spread to his liver and lungs.4 days after he died.As a family we are still in shock.Its only been 11 weeks since he died I cry everyday the bungalow they lived in is still the way he left that day so sad. 

I feel angry that I didn't know he was poorly 

He had lost weight but put this down to his worry over my mum being ill and also he had had itchy skin.If I had known these were symptoms of pancreatic cancer maybe we could help but I think it had spread by then 

Trying to be positive but feel very upset still .

People say they are together now which does not help he was a fit and healthy 81 year old with loads of life a week before and was carrying in and keeping himself bysy6bkess him 

Miss them so much x 

Hi I recently lost my mum who was critically ill with palliative care and then 70 days later lost my dad too.We didn't even know he was ill.He was 81 went to doctor with an urine infection and he was also jaundice,blood tests carried out, then he had to go to hospital for tests a week after them

2 Days after being admitted to hospital he was on oxygen a 5cm was found on his pancreas which had spread to his liver and lungs.4 days after he died.As a family we are still in shock.Its only been 11 weeks since he died I cry everyday the bungalow they lived in is still the way he left that day so sad. 

I feel angry that I didn't know he was poorly 

He had lost weight but put this down to his worry over my mum being ill and also he had had itchy skin.If I had known these were symptoms of pancreatic cancer maybe we could help but I think it had spread by then 

Trying to be positive but feel very upset still .

People say they are together now which does not help he was a fit and healthy 81 year old with loads of life a week before and was carrying in and keeping himself bysy6bkess him 

Miss them so much x 

Hi Ali,

Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear you have lost both your parents, and your father in such a sudden way. I can understand how much of a shock it must have been. Now you are left to try and pick up the pieces of losing them both and trying to understand it all. 

My Mum was diagnosed with cancer in February and now she is gone although it was covid that caused the death and it was sudden and unexpected. One minute they are doing ok and then they are gone. cancer is horrific. Its completely devastating to be fine and then find out you have cancer that has spread and then lose your life like that. My Uncle had cancer all over his body and he was fine like your father, doing his gardening. Apart from losing some weight no other symptoms. I am so sorry for your loss.

I think its normal to feel angry. I often look back and feel angry, angry that the lung department stopped my Mum's CT Scans because the changes to her lungs didn't appear any different in a certain timescale so they stopped checking, by the time she had symptoms it was too late it was advanced and incurable. I wish now I had forced them to continue the CT scans, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I will be sending a letter detailing my heartbreak at their decision, I think sometimes just writing it all down and letting them know can help, it certainly won;t do any harm.

Its early days for your emotions. I think we will go through so many emotions and feelings in the coming months, we have lost the most important people.

Here if you need to talk.

Jane

Thank you for your reply, its just going to their home is the worst , his slippers are still there where he left them.He wasn't frightened he was very brave so was my mum although a stroke was the cause of her dying She had a morphine syringe driver which made things comfortable for her I held her hand at the end .

Not sure if my sister and I were there just on time for my dad which saddens me to think he was alone.I guess we will never know.

I'm so sorry for your losses too we have to keep going for ourselves and they live on in us.

I'm sure as time goes in we will feel things ease a little but as you say it's early days for us all .Much love to you x Here for you too x