Hello Claire.  I know this is only words, but believe me when I say that I truly feel for you, and I have been where you are now.  I also lost my mum to cancer when I was still quite young, and in all honesty Claire, there is nothing that anyone can say or do that is going to take away your pain.  The only thing I can tell you with certainty is that somehow, you find the strength to get through it.  Tell your mum all the things that you need to say to her...........I have always regretted that I never told my mum I loved her when she was dying.  Claire, the decision must be yours and yours alone, but many people (myself included) have felt sorry that they weren't there when their loved one left this life..........but like I said, that choice must be yours.  Claire, when we lose someone we love, there is no such thing as 'getting over it'.  But I PROMISE you that eventually that overwhelming pain and heartbreak subsides and you can pick up the pieces of your life again, and honestly Claire, you WILL start your life over, in time.  You are experiencing one of the biggest and most painful losses that  a person can  ever go through........the loss  of your Mother.  When we lose our mum, there is a void left behind that no-one else can fill, but you will be happy again Claire, please believe me.  I am here if you need to talk, sending love and strength to you mate, Violet, xxx

Dear Claire. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum. I send my love and best wishes to you. It's incredibly hard to watch your Mum fade. I was at my Mums side in hospital when she passed away in February. It was an exhausting 2 days and I'll be honest incredibly difficult but I didn't want her to be alone. The decision whether to stay has to be yours, but know there is no right or wrong.

I hear you with the term nightmare, that feeling of being in a nightmare has stayed with me for some time and the physical feeling you describe still rears itself occasionally. It IS getting easier though. Grief lasts a lifetime but you start to learn to live with it and yes you CAN cope, you will find strength to carry on and smile again. Grief counselling may be a help.

You are in my thoughts x

My mum has terminal cancer and having no treatment. I am trying to think of things that will bring comfort in the future. Mum drew a heart and wrote love mum and I have had that tattood on my back so I know she will always have my back. If she cannot do this then perhaps you have her writing on a birthday card or letter that you could use. Also, I have heard that hearing is one of the last senses to go so talking to your mum might help her at the end and bring you comfort in the future knowing you did all you could. My mum is being very brave but my main worry is knowing she is in pain. I just want her to be comfortable and not suffer. It is heartbreaking. I was so close to my nan and I lost her in 2003. I still miss  her incredibly and think of her often and still have a little cry now and then. Your mum will be at peace and although you will never stop missing her every day will help and new things will come in to your life that help you to move on. xxx