Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 4 replies
  • Views 563 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Losing my Mum

Claireh26
Offline

I wanted to ask you how you cope watching someone you love dearly losing their life to this disgusting illness. I lost my Dad in March and my Mum is losing her fight against Multiple Myeloma. I'm sitting at her bedside now in the hospital watching this tiny but mighty lady that means the world to me literally fading. The cancer is affecting her brain now and she can't speak and can't open her eyes. Swallowing is also difficult. I've been sitting here all night dreading her passing away. I am not sure if I should be here when that time comes or not. Im scared for what is going to happen to me afterwards as I have no family and no one now that my Mum is going to go. I am

so broken and devastated I don't think I will ever be able to get over this: it is like being in a terrible nightmare . I'm trying to be strong for my Mum but my heart is broken and it actually physically hurts me to imagine my life without my best friend and Mum. Please tell me that you can cope when something like this happens as I don't think I can . I'm broken and I feel like I've died too. 

Parents
  • Offline

    Hello Claire.  I know this is only words, but believe me when I say that I truly feel for you, and I have been where you are now.  I also lost my mum to cancer when I was still quite young, and in all honesty Claire, there is nothing that anyone can say or do that is going to take away your pain.  The only thing I can tell you with certainty is that somehow, you find the strength to get through it.  Tell your mum all the things that you need to say to her...........I have always regretted that I never told my mum I loved her when she was dying.  Claire, the decision must be yours and yours alone, but many people (myself included) have felt sorry that they weren't there when their loved one left this life..........but like I said, that choice must be yours.  Claire, when we lose someone we love, there is no such thing as 'getting over it'.  But I PROMISE you that eventually that overwhelming pain and heartbreak subsides and you can pick up the pieces of your life again, and honestly Claire, you WILL start your life over, in time.  You are experiencing one of the biggest and most painful losses that  a person can  ever go through........the loss  of your Mother.  When we lose our mum, there is a void left behind that no-one else can fill, but you will be happy again Claire, please believe me.  I am here if you need to talk, sending love and strength to you mate, Violet, xxx

Reply
  • Offline

    Hello Claire.  I know this is only words, but believe me when I say that I truly feel for you, and I have been where you are now.  I also lost my mum to cancer when I was still quite young, and in all honesty Claire, there is nothing that anyone can say or do that is going to take away your pain.  The only thing I can tell you with certainty is that somehow, you find the strength to get through it.  Tell your mum all the things that you need to say to her...........I have always regretted that I never told my mum I loved her when she was dying.  Claire, the decision must be yours and yours alone, but many people (myself included) have felt sorry that they weren't there when their loved one left this life..........but like I said, that choice must be yours.  Claire, when we lose someone we love, there is no such thing as 'getting over it'.  But I PROMISE you that eventually that overwhelming pain and heartbreak subsides and you can pick up the pieces of your life again, and honestly Claire, you WILL start your life over, in time.  You are experiencing one of the biggest and most painful losses that  a person can  ever go through........the loss  of your Mother.  When we lose our mum, there is a void left behind that no-one else can fill, but you will be happy again Claire, please believe me.  I am here if you need to talk, sending love and strength to you mate, Violet, xxx

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.