Hello I'm so sorry for your loss,I do understand what you are going through I lost my mum and sister and dad within 5 years of each other then 5 months after my dad passed away I was diagnosed with cancer also,try to keep strong just think of all the good times you had with your wife,you do feel lost I'm sure but each day it does get easier and you never do forget,your wife would want you to carry on x

Hi Martin 

I don't use this site to post. I'm one of those who has suffered a cancer loss and who occasionally pops on here to be around those in the know. However, I saw your post and couldn't help but join up and reply. 
I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear wife. It is clear from what you say, that your love for her was immense and she would've known this and felt it as she slipped into the next world. 
I have lost a parent to cancer, not a partner - so although I get the process you are on now, I can't imagine what it's been like for you to watch the lady you love have to go through what she did and for her to be taken so soon after diagnosis. 
I know this must have been incredibly hard for you. You have done so well to return to work and keep going (do you find work helps?)

Getting home to an empty house must be very sore for you. I'm no expert, but might I suggest that you look for bereavement services in your area. An internet search or your GP may be a good place to start. One of the most comforting things is to hear someone say "me too, I know how you feel" and you may well be able to connect with others who are experiencing such grief. 

Talking about your GP...if you do feel unable to cope or it being very difficult to cope with, do consider speaking with your GP as they might be able to suggest something to help. 
 

Do you have any activities you could perhaps take up outside of your working hours? Not to avoid being at home...more so, to give you a break from sitting in and having to go through what you do. For example, going for a drink with colleagues after work? Going for a swim/work out/? Putting some music on and going for a walk?
 

If you do have any friends or family or loved ones, don't be afraid to disclose how you've been feeling as they can be the greatest support. Did you and your wife have children? Do you have any grandkids you can invest your time in? 
 

In my unfortunate experience with cancer loss, I can tell you that as time goes on, it naturally does start to feel better. Of course, you will always love and miss your dear wife but things do get better. 

Losing your wife in the way you did is just devastating, Martin. You must have still been getting used to the fact that she was diagnosed with cancer, never mind that you lost her from it (and the thing that was meant to help). I'm so, so sorry. 
 

This forum is a really good place to hang around (I have for a few years now). I really hope others who are experiencing the same as you will come along soon. 

Take care me love, hang in there. Keep going xx 

(Oh, if you're finding things difficult at work - speak to HR or a trusted manager). 

Hi Martin,

Firstly, so sorry of your loss.  Losing your partner is agony, as they are the one person you turn to when things get bad.

I can relate as I lost my partner in October 2021 to cancer.  Danielle was only 38 and passed very suddenly (5 days after receiving the diagnosis).  I think I am still in complete shock, as she had no symptoms until about 4 weeks prior to her passing.  She passed away in my arms at 22:22pm on the 12/10/21 leaving two kids (8 & 4).

I too went back to work, about 4 weeks after her passing which was extremely difficult but I needed distraction from the utter pain I was feeling.  I still have bad days and struggle with the loneliness, even though I have great friends and family, they aren't Danielle...

My only advice I can offer is to keep busy and talk to people about your wife, even if it upsets you.  I still get upset talking about how it all went down and that's ok.  I exercise 4-5 times a week now which I find has really helped my mind from working overdrive too.

I know it's not much and no one can tell you how to grieve, as that is your journey but just know you are not alone.

Stay strong...

Mark

Hi Martin - hope you're doing OK. I can see others have posted with some amazing advice since I dropped you a reply on here. If you can (and you want to), let us know how you are doing xx 

Desperately sorry for your loss, Mark. 

Sorry to read this, Fifa. Thinking of you and your loved ones x