Hi, my dad passed away two weeks ago and after a couple of days of upset and crying it feels like it's never happened almost like he was never here at all but a lot of the time I have a physical feeling of weight on my chest. I'm a single mum of two children so I'm not finding much time to cry and grieve I guess, I'm worried that I put it on hold to care for them and now I've shut off from it. My dad had pancreatic cancer, we knew from October it was terminal and he only had 2-4 months to live so have had an adjustment period but helping care for him has also been another distraction. I was with him when he died as were my brother, sister and mum and it was awful, he vomited blood which came out of his nose too and he just jerked and passed. It almost feels like a dream where I can't grasp what happened and it's all a bit hazy. I feel frightened when I think of how I will feel when it all sinks in but I also know I need to 'let it all out' some more as I'm slippping into a kind of numb depression
