I don't know how to cope without my mum

My beautiful and kind mum passed away on the 5th December 2021 aged 60. Ever since that day it feels like every single fiber of my being is hurting, and calling for her to come back. 

My mum had a long and hard journey with her cancer. She was diagnosed in March 2020, the first weekend of lockdown, and she showed such incredible strength throughout it all. We had always had so much hope, even after we were told she was palliative in June 2021. I moved my wedding from July 2023 to Feb 2022 in the hopes she would be there to see it... but she didn't. 

I'm 25, an only child, and I am desperately trying to survive this ordeal, but the idea of having my wedding day in 2 months without her breaks me. I graduated 3 days after she passed and it was the hardest thing I've done.

I was with my mum when she took her last breath, and watcher her heart beat slow down. It was peaceful, but I just need her. I'll never stop needing her and I don't quite understand why it had to be her. All the things in life I wanted to share with her, like graduation, my wedding, my first child... how the hell do I do this without her?

I feel this huge emptiness, I just don't quite know how to cope...

 

Parents
  • Hi so sorry for your loss I lost my mum to metastatic lung cancer last month on the 14th November (remembrance Sunday) and buried her on the 1st December she was just 65 years old.

    I nursed her all the way through and now I don't know what to do i miss her so much it hurts, I can't stop relieving the last days she suffered so much it was cruel.

    I just can't believe that I'm never going to see her again. I totally understand how you are feeling, The only way I can describe this feeling is that it a weird feeling and my heart aches.

    I dread any christmas music my mum loved Christmas which makes it so hard I don't want to celebrate it at all how am I supposed to enjoy it and carry on when my mum is gone.

    I just want her back. . My dad is so lost without her and is really depressed. My mum didn't deserve it at all she was so active and fiercely independent, she and my dad has fostered so many children after her own grew up and left home, why did she have to die like this. X

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  • Hi so sorry for your loss I lost my mum to metastatic lung cancer last month on the 14th November (remembrance Sunday) and buried her on the 1st December she was just 65 years old.

    I nursed her all the way through and now I don't know what to do i miss her so much it hurts, I can't stop relieving the last days she suffered so much it was cruel.

    I just can't believe that I'm never going to see her again. I totally understand how you are feeling, The only way I can describe this feeling is that it a weird feeling and my heart aches.

    I dread any christmas music my mum loved Christmas which makes it so hard I don't want to celebrate it at all how am I supposed to enjoy it and carry on when my mum is gone.

    I just want her back. . My dad is so lost without her and is really depressed. My mum didn't deserve it at all she was so active and fiercely independent, she and my dad has fostered so many children after her own grew up and left home, why did she have to die like this. X

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