Feeling completely controlled by everything!

My partner has had a dreadful year. Hes been unluckly in having two separate cancers. More recently hes been dianoised with lymphoma after a two month stay in hospital. Also having two of the dreaded phone calls from ICU. He's pulled through! Its been a tramatic time for everyone and i feel up till now ive been there with him. Since returning home things have been made difficult his family has completely taken over. Everything i touch or do at his home is changed. If i help out its already been done. Even though we been together 11 years i feel like im being shut out. As if being controlled by this awful disease isnt bad enough i feel totally helpless around him. To the point where i feel extremely depressed. Im a very independent person!  Really dont want to approach anything because he has been through more pain than i thought possible. Im sure he can see im struggling x any suggestion? X

  • Aaaw this sounds awful xx not gonna lie...this would do my head in xx 

    But....I wonder if they’re coming from a place of trying to help him or the both of you by taking care of everything so you don’t have to...xx 

    Is there anyone in his family you are on friendly terms with...? Could you have a quiet word with them, perhaps? Tell them that you need to feel useful and so wish to take your share of the tasks..? 

    Or...a heart to heart, calm and adult conversation with your partner...he still cares about your needs and feelings too xx he might be relieved to feel useful himself by ensuring your happiness. (You never know...if everything is being done for him...that might be causing him some frustration too but he might have felt it ungrateful to say anything) xx 

  • Hi Nancy

    Try talking to his family just casually about everyone helping out.

    Best of luck

    River