My dad is dying of cancer

Hello there, I need to speak bout this because I feel like I'm going to suffocate. My dad has cancer of the bowel which has spread to his liver and lungs so it's become terminal. I don't know how long I have left with him and try to visit s much as I can. I live in a different town. I am trying to stay strong for him but he's becoming noticeable ill looking which is harder to sweep under carpet and pretend it's not happening he is only 54 and I thought I might of had at least another 10 years plus with him. I know I can't change the way life works but I feel soo angry and bitter and sad and I'm taking it out on the one person who is there for me which is my partner. I feel like I'm grieving already if that doesn't sound daft, when he clearly hasn't passed yet. I feel like it's not fair for any 1 to go through this. I have aniexty attacks because I keep thinking to when he has to leave me. And scared to get close to any1 cause I'm scared that they will leave me too. I don't know who to turn to, where to get help. Any suggestions please. I'm really depressed and like I said I'm trying to stay strong for him but I feel like breaking down. 

Parents
  • I'm so sad and sorry you are going through this Kelly - I wish I had the answers for you. All I can suggest is maybe email the nurses on here or even phone up - I found them really helpful when I felt at a loss as to what I could do for Dad.

    I found that you do kind of grieve even before your loved one passes over - the whole 7 months since my Dad was diagnosed with mesothelioma (lung cancer due to asbestos) its been one hell of a rollercoaster ride for us all and for him too.

    I actually do suffer with agoraphobia/anxiety/despression and have done for 17 years - and due to my issues I didnt really spend much time with him - something I'm going to have live with. But, what I did do at the end was I was with him and our family for the 23 hours before he passed. I hope he knows I was there x

    Please be kind to yourself....if you need help please ask for it - there are lots of helplines out there plus you can always have a chat with your GP.

Reply
  • I'm so sad and sorry you are going through this Kelly - I wish I had the answers for you. All I can suggest is maybe email the nurses on here or even phone up - I found them really helpful when I felt at a loss as to what I could do for Dad.

    I found that you do kind of grieve even before your loved one passes over - the whole 7 months since my Dad was diagnosed with mesothelioma (lung cancer due to asbestos) its been one hell of a rollercoaster ride for us all and for him too.

    I actually do suffer with agoraphobia/anxiety/despression and have done for 17 years - and due to my issues I didnt really spend much time with him - something I'm going to have live with. But, what I did do at the end was I was with him and our family for the 23 hours before he passed. I hope he knows I was there x

    Please be kind to yourself....if you need help please ask for it - there are lots of helplines out there plus you can always have a chat with your GP.

Children
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