Hi Krystal, 

I know how angry you are. I lost my mum 6 months ago but she was ill for a long time and I was her full time carer. I understand your frustration, its a sense of uselessness to help your beautiful mother. You see her in pain and that hurts you. You can't take the pain away. Cancer is a vile, disgusting disease and it hurts the ones we love. My experience will be different from yours, because we all deal with having a terminally ill parent differently. But you are stronger than you know. There are points when I thought I would break, in my case my mum had brain cancer and in her last weeks she was very paranoid that the doctors were trying to kill her and this made taking care of her very hard. It will never be easy to see something like that happen to a person you love. But being there, suffering through this illness with your mother is the only thing you can do. There is no other way but to be strong for her. I really really do know how you feel, I can't emphasise that enough. All you can do is be there, love her, tell her you love her. Tell her everything she has done that has made you happy over the years, bring up funny ancedotes from your childhood. These little things will seem like light in the darkness. I am sending all my love and strength to you, you can and will get through this pain. 

Hi Krystal, 

I know how angry you are. I lost my mum 6 months ago but she was ill for a long time and I was her full time carer. I understand your frustration, its a sense of uselessness to help your beautiful mother. You see her in pain and that hurts you. You can't take the pain away. Cancer is a vile, disgusting disease and it hurts the ones we love. My experience will be different from yours, because we all deal with having a terminally ill parent differently. But you are stronger than you know. There are points when I thought I would break, in my case my mum had brain cancer and in her last weeks she was very paranoid that the doctors were trying to kill her and this made taking care of her very hard. It will never be easy to see something like that happen to a person you love. But being there, suffering through this illness with your mother is the only thing you can do. There is no other way but to be strong for her. I really really do know how you feel, I can't emphasise that enough. All you can do is be there, love her, tell her you love her. Tell her everything she has done that has made you happy over the years, bring up funny ancedotes from your childhood. These little things will seem like light in the darkness. I am sending all my love and strength to you, you can and will get through this pain. 

Thankyou so much for all your replies. It's really very helpful to talk to people how are/have been through the same thing. I've been with my mum every day, doing as you have all suggested, I'm enjoying my time with her, and enjoy watching her smile when she's with my precious children. It's so hard to be positive it situations like this, and usually I'm such a positive person!

Just totally devastating to watch this beautiful woman this is my mum deteriorate in front of my eyes every day. I'm still scared of the unknown all though I know what the final outcome is, im scared of not knowing when it's happening!

Again Thankyou for your time and replies xx