Krystal,

Welcome to the forum, you may not get the answers you're looking for but at least you know you are talking to people who can empathise with your situation because they've been in a similar situation.

Bear with me here, it will make sense in a minute ... I came across the 5 stages of grief* model in a completely different situation but the model fits quite well with the process we all go through with cancer whether or not it ends with the death of a loved one. We all progress through the different stages at different speeds and it can't be hurried. 

Denial is hard to get through - "it can't be happening to Mum/Dad/son/daughter/partner/me" ... I'm almost three years in and I still slip back into this stage from time to time.

Anger comes next - somehow you need to vent your anger without it becoming too destructive. Feel free to come on here for a rant, getting things off your chest isn't easy with your loved ones as you are only too painfully aware that they are hurting too. If you bottle everything up it will either drive you crazy or spill over at the worst possible time imaginable!

Bargaining and depression are pretty self-explanatory and inevitable however hard we try to avoid them. 

The final stage is acceptance - which GrahamM has described really well in his post. Getting there isn't easy, most of us need to visit (and often re-visit) each of the earlier stages before we can accept our new reality and get on with living our lives.

Try to spend some time with your Mum and build up happy memories with her and your family. It is all too easy to waste precious time mourning for someone before they've actually died.   

Good luck
Dave

* en.wikipedia.org/.../Kübler-Ross_model

Krystal,

Welcome to the forum, you may not get the answers you're looking for but at least you know you are talking to people who can empathise with your situation because they've been in a similar situation.

Bear with me here, it will make sense in a minute ... I came across the 5 stages of grief* model in a completely different situation but the model fits quite well with the process we all go through with cancer whether or not it ends with the death of a loved one. We all progress through the different stages at different speeds and it can't be hurried. 

Denial is hard to get through - "it can't be happening to Mum/Dad/son/daughter/partner/me" ... I'm almost three years in and I still slip back into this stage from time to time.

Anger comes next - somehow you need to vent your anger without it becoming too destructive. Feel free to come on here for a rant, getting things off your chest isn't easy with your loved ones as you are only too painfully aware that they are hurting too. If you bottle everything up it will either drive you crazy or spill over at the worst possible time imaginable!

Bargaining and depression are pretty self-explanatory and inevitable however hard we try to avoid them. 

The final stage is acceptance - which GrahamM has described really well in his post. Getting there isn't easy, most of us need to visit (and often re-visit) each of the earlier stages before we can accept our new reality and get on with living our lives.

Try to spend some time with your Mum and build up happy memories with her and your family. It is all too easy to waste precious time mourning for someone before they've actually died.   

Good luck
Dave

* en.wikipedia.org/.../Kübler-Ross_model