Cheryl,

Bad news always seems to arrive in droves, doesn't it? All we can do is our best. Remember to try to look after yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if things get to be too much!

I can only imagine the stress of having to say which treatment you'd like to have first when obviously you wish no treatment was needed! 

Best wishes
Dave

Thanks Jules, I am going to try to keep going here - I have decided it's going to be "my escape" where I can come & express myself etc without worrying about what hubby/family/friends think!

Hi Dave, thanks for your response :) yes, bad news seems to be constantly arriving at our door lately but we're not the only ones, just going to carrying on acting like the proverbial swan..!!

Hope you're both okay? Am new here so not aware of either of your journeys...x

Hi Cheryl .....

I have just read your story and wanted to pop in to say 'hi' and welcome to the forum.  You and your family certainly have a lot to cope with right now and I hope that you will find some support here from others who have also been touched by the Big C in one way or another, and who understand what difficulties it brings. My forum buddies have been a Godsend in good times and bad - giving me emotional and practical advice, laughter, and a safe place to 'sound off' when needed. I hope we can do that for you too.  Remember to take good care of yourself whilst you are juggling all the other things that are going on in your life at the moment. Speak soon my friend.   Max x

ps ...... re your last post - if you want to read about others journeys - just double-click on their avatar or name (on the lefthand side of their post) and all will be revealed.

Hi, Cheryl, you are certainly having to cope with so much aren't you!  You seem to have had so much thrown at you and must be finding it hard to cope.   i do hope that once your husband starts on the chemo you will, hopefully, find it isn't as difficult as you imagine and that your own health problems better than expected.  As for your little monster - well, what can I say! I can never forget when my own son was 3 ..............

My very best wishes to you all. x

 Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. 

When you are told the diagnosis feel like you're the only one in the world going through such a devastating time, however looking  only here I can see that we are just one of many...

 The future is very scary with  such a young family. However,  looking  at our three-year-old running around without a care in the world not knowing a thingand three-year-old running around without a care in the world completely oblivious (thank god)... Is big blue eyes and his cheeky smile are enough to keep anybody going and certainly give me the strength to smile  Xx

Hi Cheryl

I just wanted to add my own words of welcome to you. In the few weeks I have been registered here I have found so many kind and caring people who are willing to listen, advise and just be a virtual friend to me.

At the start of our journey (be it as a patient or along side our loved ones) we feel as though we are the only ones in the world who are  on this roller coaster. You are in a good place here. You have already found that you aren't alone. Here you can share your fears and worrys and hopes, you can vent your anger. We all recognise  the emotions and turmoil you are going through.

Try not to be super-woman, be kind to yourself. I appreciate what its like trying to be upbeat and positive  for the sake of those around  you but sometimes its good just to have a darned good cry and let everyone around you know that, actually, you are  hurting too.

Sending you a virtual hug to lift your spirits

Inula x

Morning Cheryl

Well, I think you can see what kind of forum this is and why many of us still 'cling on' to it. As for me, in short, hubby diagnosed with Mesothelioma (linked to asbestos)  10months after his 60th birthday.Rollercoaster of emotions, fears, frustration etc etc., and me, being a born worrier, in panic mode!Sadly we knew from the beginning that it was incurable but he gave it a good go and with some chemo and a wonderful medical support team, family (two kids, two grandchildren) we made memories to hold dear.He ended his journey five months ago and I owe the forum so much which is why I am still a part of it.

All I can say is that I learnt very quickly that the only way I could cope/manage was to take it day by day and only deal with things as they arose rather than stress about what might happen and when (easier said than done though).

A child's smile is worth a thousand words and don't be afraid to ask for a hug when you need one (hubby too!).  Sending a virtual hug. Jules

Jules, I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband, I can only imagine how devastating that would have been!! Xx

I am trying my best to keep hubby's spirits up and the family as 'normal' as it can be.  I too can be a worrier, I am one of those people that need to know everything & have all questions answered. I did broach with hubby whether he was going to ask the Oncologist what the outlook was, but don't think he really wants to know - whereas I need to know what I'm facing/fighting!  Not sure how I go about this...maybe I'll just ask hubby if I can ask the Dr alone?!

Hi Cheryl

The 'needing to know' was very much like me and my daughter. My son and hubby only wanting the basics as we travelled the journey. In the end we reached a compromise with hubby's consent the consultant/support team at the hospital and the GP community nurses were all informed that I could be given as much information as I wanted (we had a telephone contact number to call so when needs be I could use this 'out of earshott'.  With hubby's cancer, though incurable, there were wide ranging life expectancy possibilities and so we never really asked that 'what and when' question and thankfully we were granted three extra years due to his general good health and the chemo holding things in check for a while.

I had to explain to my hubby that I would worry more not knowing what was happening to him as regards pain/symptoms/how I could help (he did not want to discuss 'cancer' at all as found it far too emotive understandably) and somehow we muddled through the maze the journey takes you on.  I became the 'information' go between for family and friends and the forum was my 'crutch' when I did not want to offload in the real world (hope that makes sense!).

It still helps to talk and though hubby was the quiet one I am still coming to terms with not being 'answered back' and having feelings of vulnerability at times but its early days and changes take time.

Hopefully you will  not need these kind of conversations for a long time yet and I hope they can get your husband's treatment plan underway soon as it gives more focus to what is going on. 

How are  you?  Do  you have a follow up appointment for yourself (easy to put your own health on the back burner with so much going on within the family but you are just as important to get sorted).

Take care, Jules x

Glad I'm not the only one with these feelings...

I, myself am ok, don't have an appt until August but don't think it's anything too bad.

Just to add to the circus that I live in...just found out my 3 yr old has chicken pox....oh joy!!! Xx

Oh poor lad (and  you).  Remember it well in my childhood and my kids had it. Eldest grandson had it few years ago (he is now six and a half).  Only consolation, if there is one, is that he won't miss any 'big school' with this illness and apparently much better to get it young.(I passed it on to my Mum - she was not amused!!).  Do they still recommend calamine lotion for the terrible 'itch'?  You have my sympathy. Try to remember to day to day approach (easy to say I know). Take care  Jules x

Oh poor lad (and  you).  Remember it well in my childhood and my kids had it. Eldest grandson had it few years ago (he is now six and a half).  Only consolation, if there is one, is that he won't miss any 'big school' with this illness and apparently much better to get it young.(I passed it on to my Mum - she was not amused!!).  Do they still recommend calamine lotion for the terrible 'itch'?  You have my sympathy. Try to remember to day to day approach (easy to say I know). Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules, yes it's Calamine lotion & Calpol (and lots of cuddles too)!

Yet another thing to help keep my mind off things lol x

Hope you're ok xx

Thanks for asking when you have so much on your own mind.  Am doing ok on the whole. Try to keep myself occupied and have just returned from a 4 mile walk to the garden centre.  Now how a few plants to get in!!! (will watch tennis and have lunch first I think).

Hope you have a less hectic weekend and that your little one is not feeling too poorly - those cuddles work wonders and with warmer weather probably prefers 'no clothes' !!  Regards Jules x