Hi

I feel your 'panic' at what you are trying to cope with and though my situation was completely different (my kids were adult) you cannot do all these things on your own and though I am sure it will be a difficult conversation (I did this when my husband was sick), there comes a time when you have to be totally open with your loved ones (though perhaps you have done this already) and explain how you are feeling and maybe call in outside assistance to help with childcare (perhaps a friend can have the little one for a couple of hours to let you drawer breath).

My husband did have a small amount of chemo treatment which I am sure gave us extra time together and not everyone has a bad time of it during treatment. It was a decision my husband took, wanting to grab as much family time as possible  but it was hard for us all, watching and waiting. If your older daughter needs support in coping with your husband's illness (and your ill health for that matter as she must be feeling much the same as you, even if she is not sharing her emotions, there is a site aimed at her age group and the Moderators should be able to give you a link to it if you think this may help.

I do wish I had a better idea of how would be best for you to cope/prioritise your very full life but keeping the GP informed and going back to ask for more help may be a starting point.

Hoping other friendly members of this forum will soon be along to offer words of support but for sure I felt it helped to 'offload' here and rest assured someone will usually come along to chat.  If you feel it would help you could also ring the nurses on this site (freephone from landlines and some mobiles Mon to Fri 9-5) for a more personal chat/guidance.

Wishing you and the family all the very best . Jules54

Thanks for your reply, is it really sad to feel a shred of excitement seeing a response? Knowing that someone, somewhere cares enough to write a few words?!

Hi Cheryl

Not at all sad.  I  have been a member of the forum for over two years and still feel pleased when I get a response.  To me it just shows how many caring people, despite their own problems, are good natured enough to take time out to offer support and a few caring words when we are at our wits end, frustrated, fearful etc etc.  Somehow it helps to have a 'virtual' bond and no one passes judgement here. Stay in touch and let us know how things go with you and the family.  You can virtually let of steam here any time. Best regards  Jules x

Thanks Jules, I am going to try to keep going here - I have decided it's going to be "my escape" where I can come & express myself etc without worrying about what hubby/family/friends think!

Hi Dave, thanks for your response :) yes, bad news seems to be constantly arriving at our door lately but we're not the only ones, just going to carrying on acting like the proverbial swan..!!

Hope you're both okay? Am new here so not aware of either of your journeys...x

Hi Cheryl .....

I have just read your story and wanted to pop in to say 'hi' and welcome to the forum.  You and your family certainly have a lot to cope with right now and I hope that you will find some support here from others who have also been touched by the Big C in one way or another, and who understand what difficulties it brings. My forum buddies have been a Godsend in good times and bad - giving me emotional and practical advice, laughter, and a safe place to 'sound off' when needed. I hope we can do that for you too.  Remember to take good care of yourself whilst you are juggling all the other things that are going on in your life at the moment. Speak soon my friend.   Max x

ps ...... re your last post - if you want to read about others journeys - just double-click on their avatar or name (on the lefthand side of their post) and all will be revealed.

Hi, just wanted to say hi and welcome. I have been using the site for a few weeks and have found it really helpful. Very quickly, the most surreal situation starts to become normal and it's amazing how much support will come your way from folk . I wish you and your family well. 

Hi, Cheryl, you are certainly having to cope with so much aren't you!  You seem to have had so much thrown at you and must be finding it hard to cope.   i do hope that once your husband starts on the chemo you will, hopefully, find it isn't as difficult as you imagine and that your own health problems better than expected.  As for your little monster - well, what can I say! I can never forget when my own son was 3 ..............

My very best wishes to you all. x

 Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. 

When you are told the diagnosis feel like you're the only one in the world going through such a devastating time, however looking  only here I can see that we are just one of many...

 The future is very scary with  such a young family. However,  looking  at our three-year-old running around without a care in the world not knowing a thingand three-year-old running around without a care in the world completely oblivious (thank god)... Is big blue eyes and his cheeky smile are enough to keep anybody going and certainly give me the strength to smile  Xx

Hi Cheryl

I just wanted to add my own words of welcome to you. In the few weeks I have been registered here I have found so many kind and caring people who are willing to listen, advise and just be a virtual friend to me.

At the start of our journey (be it as a patient or along side our loved ones) we feel as though we are the only ones in the world who are  on this roller coaster. You are in a good place here. You have already found that you aren't alone. Here you can share your fears and worrys and hopes, you can vent your anger. We all recognise  the emotions and turmoil you are going through.

Try not to be super-woman, be kind to yourself. I appreciate what its like trying to be upbeat and positive  for the sake of those around  you but sometimes its good just to have a darned good cry and let everyone around you know that, actually, you are  hurting too.

Sending you a virtual hug to lift your spirits

Inula x