Morning Cheryl

Well, I think you can see what kind of forum this is and why many of us still 'cling on' to it. As for me, in short, hubby diagnosed with Mesothelioma (linked to asbestos)  10months after his 60th birthday.Rollercoaster of emotions, fears, frustration etc etc., and me, being a born worrier, in panic mode!Sadly we knew from the beginning that it was incurable but he gave it a good go and with some chemo and a wonderful medical support team, family (two kids, two grandchildren) we made memories to hold dear.He ended his journey five months ago and I owe the forum so much which is why I am still a part of it.

All I can say is that I learnt very quickly that the only way I could cope/manage was to take it day by day and only deal with things as they arose rather than stress about what might happen and when (easier said than done though).

A child's smile is worth a thousand words and don't be afraid to ask for a hug when you need one (hubby too!).  Sending a virtual hug. Jules

Jules, I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband, I can only imagine how devastating that would have been!! Xx

I am trying my best to keep hubby's spirits up and the family as 'normal' as it can be.  I too can be a worrier, I am one of those people that need to know everything & have all questions answered. I did broach with hubby whether he was going to ask the Oncologist what the outlook was, but don't think he really wants to know - whereas I need to know what I'm facing/fighting!  Not sure how I go about this...maybe I'll just ask hubby if I can ask the Dr alone?!

Hi Cheryl

The 'needing to know' was very much like me and my daughter. My son and hubby only wanting the basics as we travelled the journey. In the end we reached a compromise with hubby's consent the consultant/support team at the hospital and the GP community nurses were all informed that I could be given as much information as I wanted (we had a telephone contact number to call so when needs be I could use this 'out of earshott'.  With hubby's cancer, though incurable, there were wide ranging life expectancy possibilities and so we never really asked that 'what and when' question and thankfully we were granted three extra years due to his general good health and the chemo holding things in check for a while.

I had to explain to my hubby that I would worry more not knowing what was happening to him as regards pain/symptoms/how I could help (he did not want to discuss 'cancer' at all as found it far too emotive understandably) and somehow we muddled through the maze the journey takes you on.  I became the 'information' go between for family and friends and the forum was my 'crutch' when I did not want to offload in the real world (hope that makes sense!).

It still helps to talk and though hubby was the quiet one I am still coming to terms with not being 'answered back' and having feelings of vulnerability at times but its early days and changes take time.

Hopefully you will  not need these kind of conversations for a long time yet and I hope they can get your husband's treatment plan underway soon as it gives more focus to what is going on. 

How are  you?  Do  you have a follow up appointment for yourself (easy to put your own health on the back burner with so much going on within the family but you are just as important to get sorted).

Take care, Jules x

Glad I'm not the only one with these feelings...

I, myself am ok, don't have an appt until August but don't think it's anything too bad.

Just to add to the circus that I live in...just found out my 3 yr old has chicken pox....oh joy!!! Xx

Oh poor lad (and  you).  Remember it well in my childhood and my kids had it. Eldest grandson had it few years ago (he is now six and a half).  Only consolation, if there is one, is that he won't miss any 'big school' with this illness and apparently much better to get it young.(I passed it on to my Mum - she was not amused!!).  Do they still recommend calamine lotion for the terrible 'itch'?  You have my sympathy. Try to remember to day to day approach (easy to say I know). Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules, yes it's Calamine lotion & Calpol (and lots of cuddles too)!

Yet another thing to help keep my mind off things lol x

Hope you're ok xx