Hi Mower, so sorry this has happened to your dad.

You can contact the macmillan nurse assigned to your dad to ask questions. She may not have the answers immediately but will find out what she can, and may also help with other things you are in need of. 

I think your dad and you and your family can get counciling to help you during this difficult time if you ask too. Sometimes we need to lean on others a bit when times are hard.

Thinking of you and your dad and wishing him well

Aemi x

Thank you for your reply its so hard seeing him in pain & thinking how long I have with him, but got a load of questions to ask his consultant when we get an appointment but don't know when that will be as he has cat scan today & not heard any think about him going for his biopsy yet, it's just a waiting game & it feel like they are taking forever.

Hi Kathy 

yes it is offering help & care so don't have to go in to hospital when the time comes, one way of finding out he doing have long left as not seen consultant yet or had it confirm, I think he knows it is as seen flu jab on the letter & above that is says cancer care, but not saying anything as don't want to upset me so I'm going to see if he comes out with it in a bit,  take care x

  Ps I'm hopping I didn't accidentally press report post by mistake sorry if I have x

Hi Mower

sorry for not replying sooner but  do agree with what Kathy has said and am sure it will be easier for your Dad to understand matters when he has the appointment with consultant. Definitely annoying that the letter should arrive before he even knows what is happening.(though good to know you will have necessary support when time comes). So glad you were able to intercept post. Its quite possible that your Dad is aware of what he 'thinks' he has but would find it hard to talk to you about just now as needs time to process it himself. (My husband  chose to find out for himself (went to appointment on his own and then told me). Terribly emotional time for all concerned but the forum is here when you need to talk things through and I hope all will seem a little clearer once the appointment takes place.

Hope the drinks are  helping your Dad and he is feeling  more comfortable but do not hesitate to go back to the GP if either your Dad or you need support before the appointment.  Sending a hug.Jules

Hi jules

Thanks for getting back to me, he said to me today it could be cancer & I said yes it could be & left it at that as going to see if I can get hold of the care coordinator on Tuesday & see if some one can come out & explain it to him as it will be to much for him to take in when we go back & see the consultant, plus I would like to know what  [m] squamous cell carcinoma NOS mean, I know what scc is. This is all from his blood tests as they wouldn't of go his results because the care plan is dated 28.04.15. Take care x

Hi Mower

Its great that you are able to help with arrangements and am sure your Dad is coping much better having  your support. Medical terms are a bind aren't they and I cannot help I am afraid. If the care coordinator is unavailable for some reason you can give the nurses a ring on this forum from Tuesday (as Monday bank holiday) 9-5 (free from landlines and some mobile networks) and am sure they will be able to explain a little more.(or there may be someone reading your post who will understand.

 The waiting around does not help as you just want to know what is happening and get your head round things (found it helped me to prepare myself as hunby never wanted to discuss it with me and I had to wait for the medical team to explain as we progressed through his illness (thankfully he gave permission for all his 'team' to talk with me )). Remember to look after yourself too.Jules x

Poor dad he has been through quite a journey already.  What can I say?  Just that we will keep you in mind today - it's awful seeing all this pain and suffering and feeling help less. I sincerely how things come together and dad improves.  

We will be thinking of you all today

Xx

Hi Brighteyes

Yes he has been through a lot some say it would of been better if he didn't pull through 18 months ago as he will be in a lot of pain one day & others say you have had  extra time with him as should of died back then but I disagree with both of them answers as I have enjoyed them 18 months & still enjoying the time we have, thank you for being here & how are you doing? Take care x

Hi Jules

I can't see the post I just sent you so don't know if it sent? So here I go again lol,yes it's the not knowing that's hard as all I have said could be wrong but I don't think I am, just waiting for the appointment for the consultant to find out what the results are from his cat scan & biopsy,plus see if it has spread else where as I think it could be in his neck as will but hopping I'm wrong, my Dad gave me permission years ago & from now on I have told them to call me & not my Dad from now on. How are you doing?Take care x & thank you for getting back to me x

Well yes I do understand -- any time with dad is- well - precious.  Thank goodness he has you.  I am sure he thinks every day is precious also.  We went for a walk today and I thought about you and all the others on the forum.  How special you really are: when you think of all the people pushing and shoving in the super market I work in - how little peace they have- well I know we shouldn't judge a book by its cover and we don't know their story. But we do sometimes,  although we shouldn't.  You are special!  As all the people on here are xxxx

That was lovely what you said thank you & yes everyone is so brave & special on here take care x

Hi Mower

Back home from work so just catching up on my mail again!  Your post only appears once so thanks for 'sending it again'. Hope the appointment comes through soon so that one way or another you both know what is going on (and hope it is better news than you are perhaps expecting too). Its good that you can deal with these things on your Dad;s behalf.  I have Power of Attorney for my Mum and to be honest it does make it a little easier although I always run things past her, she does not always remember me doing so!

I am 'managing' okay on a day to day basis (obvious hiccups along the way but only to be expected I think.). Watched a drama on tv last night and though it was about a different cancer to what my hubby had, I lost a friend to the sane kind of cancer around this time last year and it reminded me of her struggles and triumphs through her journey (I was so proud of her way of dealing with it and we spent some fun times (when she was well as well as when she was sick/on treatment) as she managed to fulfil so many of her bucket list wishes (she was first diagnosed in  her early thirties  and passed away just shortly before her 60th birthday!). She was totally inspirational and even supported me when we  learned of hubby's diagnosis.  There are some truly lovely people around.

Take care and chat again soon.  Jules x

Hi Mower

Back home from work so just catching up on my mail again!  Your post only appears once so thanks for 'sending it again'. Hope the appointment comes through soon so that one way or another you both know what is going on (and hope it is better news than you are perhaps expecting too). Its good that you can deal with these things on your Dad;s behalf.  I have Power of Attorney for my Mum and to be honest it does make it a little easier although I always run things past her, she does not always remember me doing so!

I am 'managing' okay on a day to day basis (obvious hiccups along the way but only to be expected I think.). Watched a drama on tv last night and though it was about a different cancer to what my hubby had, I lost a friend to the sane kind of cancer around this time last year and it reminded me of her struggles and triumphs through her journey (I was so proud of her way of dealing with it and we spent some fun times (when she was well as well as when she was sick/on treatment) as she managed to fulfil so many of her bucket list wishes (she was first diagnosed in  her early thirties  and passed away just shortly before her 60th birthday!). She was totally inspirational and even supported me when we  learned of hubby's diagnosis.  There are some truly lovely people around.

Take care and chat again soon.  Jules x

Hi Jules

Sorry didn't get back sooner, my Dads appointment came today it's on the 14 May so not long to wait plus ask the care coordinator to come out & talk to my DAD before the appointment so it's not to much of a shock to him & me as this will be the first time it's been confirmed to us other then in the letter & ask what is a care coordinator & what do they do, hope your day was good as I just got back from my Dad's & off to bed in a bit as I'm up at 3am for work. You take care x

Hi Mower

Thats a very early start; do you work shifts? 

Am pleased you have at least got the appointment through for Dad as that must feel like you are moving forward a little, though can imagine you are both filled with some trepidation about what you may have to hear/discuss.  Remeber the forum is here for you anytime you need space to talk things through but am sure the care co-ordinator will be able to answer many of your questions. Are they attached to the GP surgery or the hospital (my hubby had links to both). Take care of yourself and hope Dad not finding things too difficult just now.  Regards  Julie x

Hi Jules

The care coordinator is a new thing the GP is doing as the hospital as told them I think, that's all I know still waiting for care coordinator to get back to me & my Dad still don't know he has cancer,he just told me all the back of his gum is playing him up & back teeth as can't eat on that side & the ulcer is under his tongue on the base, I got a feeling it's not going to be good news I do hope I m wrong, you take care & thanks for getting back to me x

Hi there phew just caught up on the posts.  Things are slowly moving for you all. I wonder what if will be..... 

Let me say that we are thinking of you and you're dad at this time.  We do so hope it's going to be okay

Xxx

Steven

Hi Mower

Hope the care coordinator is soon in touch and it sounds good that he/she is attached to the GP as that is who will know your Dad's history the best.  You Dad does sound uncomfortable within his mouth but hope when the doc is told they can give him something to help.  Although my husband had his cancer elsewhere eating was often an issue and he often resorted to 'soft food, mashed' and nutritional shakes.  Unfortunately once he had received his palliative chemo treatment his taste and love of food all but disappeared and he said he ate because he needed to - that was a difficult time. Wishing you both a peaceful day.Jules x

Thanks Steve x

Hi Jules

The care coordinator didn't get back to me so I told my Dad on Saturday that he has cancer, he was ok with it & said he's had a good life & not to worry easier said then done. You take care x

Hi Mower,

That was so brave of you but I suspect he was not completely surprised as no doubt had been keeping his own thoughts close to his chest. At least now you can both be open about appointments/treatment options etc when he has his appointment. I know its easier said than done when it comes to worrying (he sounds just like my Dad was) but the older generation have seen more than we have (lived more too) and I know you will continue to look out for each other during this time. Sending virtual hugs and the forum is always open. Jules x

Hi Jules

I did ask my Dad if he had a feeling it was cancer & he said  no he had no idea it could be cancer, but I think deep down he did. Yes Jules they have lived more then we have & it was hard back then not like today. You take care x

Good morning mower

Hoping that when the appointment comes, not long till the 22nd,  everything will be explained to you both (dont forget to write down all your questions and perhaps the replies too as it may well be a lot to process at the time and I found it good to have it to refer to afterwards).  Perhaps by then the care coordinator will have been in touch (if not get back to your Dad's GP as sadly sometimes with their workloads things slip through the net - not right I know but it happens) plus it would be good for you to have a 'name' to contact.

Off to work shortly so take care of yourself and if you can let the forum know how Dad gets on. Regards Jules