Hi Mower, so sorry this has happened to your dad.

You can contact the macmillan nurse assigned to your dad to ask questions. She may not have the answers immediately but will find out what she can, and may also help with other things you are in need of. 

I think your dad and you and your family can get counciling to help you during this difficult time if you ask too. Sometimes we need to lean on others a bit when times are hard.

Thinking of you and your dad and wishing him well

Aemi x

Thank you for your reply its so hard seeing him in pain & thinking how long I have with him, but got a load of questions to ask his consultant when we get an appointment but don't know when that will be as he has cat scan today & not heard any think about him going for his biopsy yet, it's just a waiting game & it feel like they are taking forever.

Hi Jules

Thanks for your reply, i have got some drinks off gp for him & he has been to the lol  :-)  just got to wait for appointment, it hard as can't wait to find out but then again I don't want  to find out as I know what they are going to if you know what I mean, his teeth are playing him up a bit as well as his tongue because it's in his tongue & jaw but my Dad don't know this as don't know if I should tell him or leave it till the appointment & let the consultant tell him? Has my Dad didn't here him say cancer so don't know what to do for the best.you take care x

Hi Mower,
Re telling your dad, I would suggest letting the medical experts do this.
In our situation hubby was diagnoses with sciatica, we had scans done and took them to chiropractor as those guys can do things for sciatica.  He checked out the scans and told us they didn't look good, he also read report and urged us to get back to docs.  He mentioned bone cancer but for some reason hubby failed to take the info in.
On returning home there was a message from gp requesting an appt asap.  Still hubby couldn't understand why doc wanted to see him.
I chose to let the doc do the explaining as it gave hubby a few more hours of living in ignorance before we were thrown into the hell this disease is.  In  a way I was privy to all results before hubby as he chose not to want to know until it came out of the specialists mouths, whereas I opened the results and read them as soon as I picked them up.  This in a way made me able to face what was happening and be strong in front of hubby as forewarned is forearmed and knowledge is power.
Guess what I am trying to say is the medical guys are trained as to how to deliver news be it good or bad, we are not.
As the lovely Jules has said look after yourself too.  Hope you can go off and have a coffee by yourself or sit in a park for 30 mins.  You need time out too honey.
Sending you a virtual hug
Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy

Thanks so most for replying, I was thinking the same as you, the long he don't know the better for him as he knows they are doing tests for cancer but he hadn't got his head round to thinking it is bless him, so going to leave it up to consultant to do it, take care x

I don't believe it my Dad just had a letter for a care co-coordinator for cancer care (squamous cell carcinoma) thank god he didn't read it & gave it me, what a way for him to of found out, I told him it's in case he needs a doctor when they are closed as I didn't want to tell him he has cancer &  even I wasn't 100% sure he had it.

Hi Mower,
Is the letter offering help if required?  Are the results of biopsy though so quickly?
Cannot believe this is the way folk over there are notified via post.  It's still not your job to tell him.  The gp should be doing it.  Minding my language as would love to type something inappropriate. Grrr
Kathy xx
 

Hi Kathy 

yes it is offering help & care so don't have to go in to hospital when the time comes, one way of finding out he doing have long left as not seen consultant yet or had it confirm, I think he knows it is as seen flu jab on the letter & above that is says cancer care, but not saying anything as don't want to upset me so I'm going to see if he comes out with it in a bit,  take care x

  Ps I'm hopping I didn't accidentally press report post by mistake sorry if I have x

Hi Mower

sorry for not replying sooner but  do agree with what Kathy has said and am sure it will be easier for your Dad to understand matters when he has the appointment with consultant. Definitely annoying that the letter should arrive before he even knows what is happening.(though good to know you will have necessary support when time comes). So glad you were able to intercept post. Its quite possible that your Dad is aware of what he 'thinks' he has but would find it hard to talk to you about just now as needs time to process it himself. (My husband  chose to find out for himself (went to appointment on his own and then told me). Terribly emotional time for all concerned but the forum is here when you need to talk things through and I hope all will seem a little clearer once the appointment takes place.

Hope the drinks are  helping your Dad and he is feeling  more comfortable but do not hesitate to go back to the GP if either your Dad or you need support before the appointment.  Sending a hug.Jules

Hi jules

Thanks for getting back to me, he said to me today it could be cancer & I said yes it could be & left it at that as going to see if I can get hold of the care coordinator on Tuesday & see if some one can come out & explain it to him as it will be to much for him to take in when we go back & see the consultant, plus I would like to know what  [m] squamous cell carcinoma NOS mean, I know what scc is. This is all from his blood tests as they wouldn't of go his results because the care plan is dated 28.04.15. Take care x

Hi Mower

Its great that you are able to help with arrangements and am sure your Dad is coping much better having  your support. Medical terms are a bind aren't they and I cannot help I am afraid. If the care coordinator is unavailable for some reason you can give the nurses a ring on this forum from Tuesday (as Monday bank holiday) 9-5 (free from landlines and some mobile networks) and am sure they will be able to explain a little more.(or there may be someone reading your post who will understand.

 The waiting around does not help as you just want to know what is happening and get your head round things (found it helped me to prepare myself as hunby never wanted to discuss it with me and I had to wait for the medical team to explain as we progressed through his illness (thankfully he gave permission for all his 'team' to talk with me )). Remember to look after yourself too.Jules x

Poor dad he has been through quite a journey already.  What can I say?  Just that we will keep you in mind today - it's awful seeing all this pain and suffering and feeling help less. I sincerely how things come together and dad improves.  

We will be thinking of you all today

Xx

Poor dad he has been through quite a journey already.  What can I say?  Just that we will keep you in mind today - it's awful seeing all this pain and suffering and feeling help less. I sincerely how things come together and dad improves.  

We will be thinking of you all today

Xx

Hi Brighteyes

Yes he has been through a lot some say it would of been better if he didn't pull through 18 months ago as he will be in a lot of pain one day & others say you have had  extra time with him as should of died back then but I disagree with both of them answers as I have enjoyed them 18 months & still enjoying the time we have, thank you for being here & how are you doing? Take care x

Well yes I do understand -- any time with dad is- well - precious.  Thank goodness he has you.  I am sure he thinks every day is precious also.  We went for a walk today and I thought about you and all the others on the forum.  How special you really are: when you think of all the people pushing and shoving in the super market I work in - how little peace they have- well I know we shouldn't judge a book by its cover and we don't know their story. But we do sometimes,  although we shouldn't.  You are special!  As all the people on here are xxxx

That was lovely what you said thank you & yes everyone is so brave & special on here take care x