Hi Sara = you have so many wonderful replies. All I want to add is prayers for you all. I do well know how aweful it is and difficult it is to cope. 

I am so happy you have a good relationship  = lets hope Mum makes it to the wedding and she enjoy it. 

All the best to your brave mum and to you all = I think you are all amazing

steven xxx

Hi Sara

I lost my mum 2 months ago. She too was my best friend and I miss her terribly.  I found it very hard being with her at the end. She spent her last 2 weeks in a hospice.  A friend helped me put it into perspective by saying how incredibly honoured we are to be able to spend time with our loved ones on their final journey and to be able to help them and be with them during it.  The tough part for me was that when mum first went to the hospice she was eating, speaking, and to look at her you'd think "how can you possibly be dying" and then 2 weeks later she was bedridden and unconscious.  mum was very pragmatic in her apporach to death and her illness. she faced it full on and every day the Dr would ask her "so where do you think you are on your journey" and mum would always say " i think I'm on the next stage".  It's an incredibly brave way to deal with it but I se now it was about giving mum that last bit of control over the way in which she died.  I respected these conversations and it was upsetting for me to hear her tell people she felt one step closer.  It was hard to see her stop eating and refuse liquids etc, and her last couple of days were quite distressing as she became very agitated.  I had never seen anyone die before so was pretty scared, but the hopsice nurses were great at explaining the process and mum was given a syringe driver at the end which basically meant she slipped away peacefully.  I just held her hand and kissed her head and told her it was ok to let go now.    You will find your own way to deal with it and you will get through it.  It is the time after that is the most difficult. Thinking of you 

Dear Sara,

Thank you so much for your very kind words, especially when you are going through such an awful time. I think you are amazing person too and likewise your mum must be very proud of you.

I hope you are as ok as you can be today and that your family is coping, how are your sisters/mums husband/your dad getting on?

I think losing my dad has made my family and I closer, I think I realised just how precious loved ones are. My mum is ok thank you, obviously she misses him terribly but she is keeping herself busy with friends and is planning on making improvements to the house etc and I have been so amazed with how she has coped. My boyfriend was very supportive, he is not an emotional one and doesn't overly like to talk about feelings etc, but he was very understanding in his own way! I think I was quite hard work for him at times and I think with all the stress I probably was a bit nasty too and maybe did push him away a little as I had so many other things going on in head! I am sure your boyfriend will be there for you and understand that you will be finding things difficult. I don't think anyone really knows how we will react, we just have to go with the flow really.

Before my dad died I felt that I would become a different person after he had gone. I think for the first few weeks/months initially afterwards I felt dumb and in disbelief, I also felt guilty aswell as jealous of others who still have both of their parents and it is a really tough journey. But very gradually I have started to feel more like me again (but I still have 'wobbles!').  Although a masssive part of my life has changed, I think we start to find a 'new normal'. I think work, friends and my boyfriend have all helped in that too. There is no time scale for grief and it is a bit of a rollercoaster and will be for a long time. Sometimes it is good to start a new hobby/interest that can occupy your mind in a different way. It may sound silly but I do still feel like my dad is still with us, not in a religious way, but keeping him in our thoughts and relating everyday things to him, keeps his memory alive. Remember that you will always have a part of your mum with you, it is in your memories, in the way she has brought you up and made you the person that you are today. She will be there in that way for the rest of your life and nothing can change that.

This forum is amazing, full of wonderful people, I haven't often posted on here, but I read it frequently and I really think it helps knowing that you are not alone and that others have been through/going through the same thing.

Nobody can be prepared for having to deal with this, but you are not alone.

Are you having to busy yourself with last minute wedding preperations? Are you a bridesmaid?

I hope you have a restful weekend, remember you need to look after yourself too.

Lots of love.

Emma xx

Hello , I kept trying to reply last night but everything I went to type just did not seem right . I was talking with my sister about you today and we both recalled how we both felt the same . I have 2 s3 sisters and a brother and out mum was our best friend as well . The      Only advise I can give you is take each day as it comes if you have a bad day remember 2mw is a new day , tell your mum how much you love her and be there for each other . I wish      I could take some of your pain away but I thought I could not live a day without my mum its 9 months ago now and I miss her so much but I also know whe is no longer suffering . I went to church this morning and lit a candle for you and and will be praying and thinking of you all .

Hi Steven

Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot to me, hope to chat to you soon.

Saraxx

Hi Steven

Thankyou for your lovely words they mean alot to me.

Take care

Sarax

Our hearts are open to you Sara = its truly dreadful - I know = but there is goodness in it somehow = a bit of light in your darkness. 

xxxxx take good care and we will keep you in our hearts

steven

Hi Kathryn

Sorry for the delayed response, thank you for your message.You are so brave stayin with your mum untill ththe very end and you must be so proud of her in the way that she was at that terrible time what an inspiration to you! I guess i have never thought about it in the way that your friend did but i understand that 100% its kind of good that us daughters can give something back to them after all they have done for us over the years.How areyour family now? do you have siblings? did u find the funeral hard?

Hope to hear back from you take care Saraxx

Hi Emma

Sorry about the late reply i typed a long reply this morning and my lap top crashed and i lost it all!

How are you?im glad loosing your dad made your family closer that is a really good thing i hope it is the same for my family when my mum passes, i do speak to my sister more often now and that makes me happy.Im also glad ur boyfriend was so good how long have you been together? ive been with mine 3 years in June, did you do anything for valentines?

I think when it does happen i will feel hugely guilty! i already do, i feel like i havent been there enough for my mum and i dont feel like i have done all i can i think i always knew she had the cancer but i didnt think she would ever die from it? i always thought she would get better! as things like this dont happen to me. So i was indenial, so yes i do feel guilty now and i will feel 100% worse when she is gone. I also think i will feel much worse seeing those who have 2 parents and it doesnt help with mothers day coming up soon.I really like your idea about a new hobby, what did you take up?