Hi Allsparks,

Speaking as someone who has had cancer but has also lost several close family members to cancer, I think it is often harder for the family and relatives of the patient, for you are trying so hard to appear positive and putting on a brave face but inwardly you are filled with fear and worry for your loved one. Often men in this situation try to almost push their loved ones away for they think by doing this, they are in some way protecting them. The reality is however, they are just make a bad situation far worse for the people they are trying to protect feel excluded, hurt  and so alone.

Cancer is almost like two separate things.There are the pysical and medical problems it causes but it also causes emotional problems as well. As Steven has mentioned, the chemo also causes problems and often those suffering become a little muddled in their thinking, because having cancer is a real life changing experiance. I hope you will find posting you thoughts and feelings on hear will help.

Whe travelling down the road with cancer It can be likened to travelling through a long dark tunnel, But please let me tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. As Steven has said, allthough it may not seem like it at present, in the long term it may well bring you closer together, just as it has done with me and my family. I am one very luck guy for cancer has changed me in many ways and I can honestly say, I appreciate the simple little things in life more than I ever did before.

Take care and please try and keep strong, though I know how hard this can be.

Please keep in contact, as and when you can, Brian

Hi Amy,

Thanks for the reply. The problems faced by carers like yourself are often not recognised which is why I have joined a local charity which was set up primarily for family, friends and creres of cancer patients. The man who runs it lost two wives to cancer and had to bring up his two daughters on his own. He tols me there was no help at all for him and is the reason why he has set up the charity.

I know things are difficult for you at present but I am sure innwardly Dave appreciates your help. I have something to say that may explain his behaiviour. We men like to appear strong and independant but when cancer strickes we have to accept we need help. This for some men is hard to take and sometimes act wrongly towards those we love as a resul, for cancer is robbing us of our independance. It;s juat a thought.

Sending best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian

Hi Amy,

Thanks for the reply. The problems faced by carers like yourself are often not recognised which is why I have joined a local charity which was set up primarily for family, friends and creres of cancer patients. The man who runs it lost two wives to cancer and had to bring up his two daughters on his own. He tols me there was no help at all for him and is the reason why he has set up the charity.

I know things are difficult for you at present but I am sure innwardly Dave appreciates your help. I have something to say that may explain his behaiviour. We men like to appear strong and independant but when cancer strickes we have to accept we need help. This for some men is hard to take and sometimes act wrongly towards those we love as a resul, for cancer is robbing us of our independance. It;s juat a thought.

Sending best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian