Update on mum

Hi everyone. Sorry I have been away so long!! Only just remembered I had created an account on here!

Just thought I'd pop on and add an update for everyone I had spoken to in the past. I will recap for anyone else who reads this and doesn't know my story

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and was given radiotherapy to shrink the tumour as it couldn't be removed safely due to it's location. We were hopeful since after her treatment she had a scan and was told it had shrunk dramatically. Unfortunately two days after this she took a turn for the worst and ended up in hospital in a bad state. We eventually spoke to a consultant who told us it had spread to her brain and was terminal. She bounced back after this and was released home, and was told perhaps chemo would prolong her life and was her decision, this is where I left off last time I wrote on here. Just an update to say she decided against the chemo after being told it may not help and would make her pretty sick, wasn't worth it at the time as she was still pretty able and in a good way. Since then she has been in and out of hospital a few times, nothing as serious as the first time. Celebrated Christmas, new year & just recently my birthday. Glad for this although she is sadly getting weaker and sorer, spends most of the the time resting.

Anyway just thought I would post an update! Thank you for reading xxx

  • Dear Garf,

    I just wanted to say thanks for the tip about making daddy smile when I see him next as in that brief instant there is no pain. I too can only see him every two weeks/monthly as he is abroad, and now I know somerthing positive I can do....it's the little pieces of advice that mean so much...

    I'm sorry to jump in on this conversation...just wanted to say thankyou

  • You are more than welcome devoteddaughter,

    What you and Candy are going through right now is so difficult I am just happy to have been able to help a little.

    Take care and stay safe during all that travelling!

    Garf. x

  • Just to let you all know my mother passed away earlier this morning

  • Oh Candy,

    I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for letting us know and please know that we are here for you anytime you want to talk.

    Sending condolences to you and your sister, Brian

  • Candy I am so sorry to read this, I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain but that is impossible.  Surround yourself with those you love, get as much support as you can and go with all of your emotions.  My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.   Hope x

  • Oh Candy I am so terribly sorry!

    You know we are all here for you and my virtual door is always open if and when you want to talk.

    You have been in my thoughts a lot and will be more so now.

    Please take care!

    Garf xxxx 

  • Thank you everyone. Sorry I'm not replying individually just thought id quickly reply to all 3 of you. I am absolutely devastated. I was there while it was happening and I found it very difficult to watch but I am glad she's rid of this cancer and pain now..

    I was just hoping some of you could offer advice on what to do now.. What did you all do to keep sane and keep going? I feel myself crumbling already

    xxxx

  • Crumble away Candy!

    If you want and need to curl up in a ball and cry your heart out then do it.  It is very important to release the pain you are feeling as it also helps to start the healing.  Admit to yourself that you are in pain and grieving  and just take things slowly, one day at a time.

    I'm sorry I can't be much help to you right now Candy and I can't get at my computer again now for a while but I will check in again later.

    Garf. xxxx

  • Hi Candy,

    The day after I lost my mother, I spent most of it phoning around relatives and friends to let them know. This was so hard and several times I had to cut short conversations as I was so upset and close to tears.  Mum had already planned a big part of her funeral so it made this part much easier for me. I just tried to keep myself as busy as possible but I found I couldn't concentrate on anything much. Luckily my wife was there for me but I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

    It seemed so unreal, even though like you, I knew the end was close. I felt pain and grief, but at the same stage, relief that she was no longer suffering. She wasn't in pain but she hated being dependant on others.

    I know it must have been so hard for you being there at the end, but you mother would have known you were there and she would be so proud of you for that. My mother passed during the night so I wasn't there, which is something I will always feel regret about.

    Garf has as always, given good advice. Anytime you want to talk, we are here for you Candy.

    Please take care, thinking of you, Brian.

  • Hi Candy

    So sorry to hear this news.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

    Something strange happened to me this morning.  I woke up after dreaming I was going to hear something about a person dying from cancer.  It must have been about your mum Candy.

    As Garf and Brian and others have already said we are all here for you when you need to talk.

    Take care Candy

    Mickied