Hi Jo

Do not work Fridays but helped with our 'Black Friday' set up as it began on Thursday lol.  Of course I will be in on Monday for the 'reversal' of the set up.  High Street certainly buzzing with lots of people but thankfully apart from some liquid gifts I am all sorted apart from writing cards .Working in retail means I don't fancy shopping after 5+ hrs on my feet!!  Do hopefully  have a day trip to Bath Christmas Market in a week's time (for the pure enjoyment of retail therapy!!) with my friend from work.

Dietician (we saw one way back when hubby had chemo) bascically is recommending different protein shakes for hubby to try but may be giving me a call as well.  Following my frustrating blub air is clear indoors and hubby has been trying to eat a little (and more often) when he is awake. I cannot ask for more bless him - we both have things to learn from this journey and feel sure that will be ongoing and I may well have to give myself some serious talkings to along the way but we are in it together which is the most important factor at present.

Thanks for your continued support - it all means a lot especially when those who use this community forum are going through enough themselves.  Have a good weekend and hope Paddy does not run you (your partner) ragged.  Take care, sending hugs  Jules x

Morning Jo

Yes, really enjoyed the day's break and think it did us both good!  Fish and chips is about the only takeaway hubby still enjoys so am trying to work it in to the menu once a week at some point. The most annoying thing for him is the discomfort from his coccyx but more lying down and less sitting is proving helpful so he now swaps between chair and sofa (as do I lol).  His sore area was re-dressed yesterday and is no worse which is good news. Today we have palliative care nurse (two weekly event to keep an eye on us) butnot sure on timing so may not get to visit my Mum today (have spoken to the home who will explain I will pop in asap).

Last year I saw our grandson in the Nativity but this year they have asked that no younger siblings be brought along; I will be babysitting so that our daughter can go and they always produce a video for purchase (around a fiver) so will have a copy for the archives.  Last year he was a shepherd but not sure on his part this time - no doubt he will tell me all about it.  He has had a really good term with both reading (jumped three levels) and maths and has now chosen to join after-school science club (using his birthday money) starting next term. Will you visit your School before the end of term?  Little Zack has now dropped his morning nap so our daughter is in full swing with toddler club a couple of times a week.  Not sure where 'babyhood' has gone. 

Christmas cards written and posted and I always use second class when mailing these days, first class just too expensive (postage works out more expensive than the cards - crazy!). Depending on the timing of 'care' visit today I am hoping to wrap presents and then relax knowing its all sorted (we are a small family on both sides which helps along with the fact that for the adults we have a nominal £10/£15 budget to make it easier for everyone).

Take care of yourself and hope you are having a peaceful week.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Time has absolutely flown by the past few days. On top of my cancer meetings which both went very well thank you, Mrs B has a lot of appointments the next two wekks, a mixture of doctors and hospital visits plus my woodclub meeting on Wednesday evening. Have just come back from chemists with Mrs B's, mine, and our next door neighbours prescriptions and I looked like a mobile chemist shop.

We have only has a small showere of rain since garage roof was done and so far so good. Dont like the sound of the weather they tell us is coming. Think I shall take my stock of nuts and hibernate lol. Mrs B is complaining both fridge and freezer are at full capacity. Our youngest grandsaon doesnt like out three foot tree as he said it's to small. When asked why he said it's because there's no room to put any presents under it. No flys on him. Now have another idea for turning next year; that make three new ideas allready in the pot.

I forgot to tell you when I had one of my craft fairs, I bought some chips while out from a differnt shop. I only eat a few for they were the most horrible chips I have ever bought and for me to leave food is extremly rare for I hate waste. Our woodclub is being featured in The Sussex Living magazing in January so this may bring us new members. 

Well I have rambled enough for today. Take care Jules, sending best wishes to you and hubby, Brian 

I was so pleased to hear you enjoyed your day out. I know you had mixed feelings about going but with all the stress you have been under, you needed a little Me time for yourself. Really frosty here this morning so am pleased I keep my car in the garage. Everyone else was busy scrapping their cars and I drove mine out from the garage frost free. Hope visit from nurse is okay and no need to change anything and you dont have to wait too long..

Morning Brian

Hope all theappointments go well for Mrs B. Seems that everyone is 'managing appointments' as we approach the Christmas season and try keeping up to date with everything.  Had a very frustrating day yesterday as spent all day indoors waiting for palliative care nurse who was a 'no show'.  Tried his phone only to have a recorded message say if we left a message after 2 pm it would be following day before he caught up.  It was an appointment made by him as a routine follow up before he 'moved on' to pastures new so am not impressed.  Will see if he rings hubby today or we will have to contact his hospital support worker to see if there is someone taking over hubby's case notes.  Luckily we have appointment with GPnext week and before then district nurse for dressings and he also has to go for blood tests, hopefully today if he is up to it.  Yesterday he slept a fair bit again and this seems to come in waves.  He also did not fancy dinner so snacked on cake, shake and chocolate coins (I always buy too many!!!). 

The plus side to being at home all day was that I finished Christmas gift wrapping  so no time wasted!

Good news that its so far so good for the garage roof - long may it continue.  No rain here or frost this morning though a bit breezy when I popped outside to fill bird feeders.  Hubby's siblings are due to move next Tuesday so they will be hoping the wind drops otherwise they could be stuck as the ferry would not  be able to run (they had a couple cancelled during the summer months due to bad weather so must be on tenterhooks).

Had a phone call from Mum's care home yesterday as she has eye appointment today and they were checking we were ok for them to send her by cab with a carer.  This worked well the last time and its only just down the road from the home so that will be fine. She also had  examination from GP yesterday as had a few bowel issues but nothing untoward found so they will monitor. Still no response from Soc. Serv. despite written letter over 10 days ago and though I like to think the best of people am beginning to think they could do with brushing up their manners.  With Christmas season fast approaching I will 'build a case' and take it to our local MP in the New Year but really wish I did not have the added stress at the moment (I also know that hubby is 'worried for me' having to deal with this too as he told his GP about it).

Well had best turn my thoughts to housework before leaving and putting on my 'work head'.  Hope you and Mrs B have a peaceful day and 'carry on rambling' - it keeps my thread 'chatty' and I welcome your imput and kind words.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Sorry to hear about "No Show" nurse. Very frustrating when they dont turn up. They should at least let you know. Same applies to the S/S brigade for you have enough to deal with without having to keep chasing them up. Brother in law and sister in law came to visit us last Saturday. He only has two more chemo sessions and then he is finnished and he has to wait to find out what if any difference it has made. Mrs B is feeling a little more at ease concerning him so pleased about this as she does understandably get stressed.

Hope appointmant with GP goes well and that hubby's sore heals up soon. Sorry to hear the home had to call doctor for your mother but glad nothing bad to worry about.

Yesterday we had five sparrows all sitting on our nieghbours fence. I managed to take a photo of them through the window but could only get three of them (Photo attached)

Well had better get on with my story writting as havent done any for the past few days.

Take care Jules, Hugs returned, Brian[[]]

Hi Jules,

Glad you and Hubby had good nights out on Friday despite still not getting that win.  I have faith that it will happen as law of averages says it has to happen ---- eventually!  Your fish and chips reminds me of my Mum as she loves to have me bring some round for our tea when I go to Wales for a visit.  I have spoken to her more than usual this week as she has been pretty ill and hardly able to walk because of dizzyness.  It turns out she has Vertigo and has to keep herself as still as possible and take tablets until it passes which has no particular time limit although she says she feels quite a bit better today.  My sister has helped her with making her food and doing some chores around the house which has pleased me considering their volatile relationship.

Work is still completely mad right now with a waterless swimming pool to contend with on top of everything else.  The floor of the pool is being raised which will take a month in total and cost around £30,000 to complete and an extra £60,000 or so in lost revenue.  All in the name of our two friends Health and Safety.

Not much more to report here so I will say best of luck to you both with Hubbys blood test and appointment next week.

Take care.

Garf. xx

Hi Brian

Love the 'birdies' photo. We have seen an increase in visitors to the feeders with the colder mornings (despite stalking cats!).

It was good to read that your brother in law is coming to the end of his treatment, coping well and it will be everything crossed to some improvement to his condition. Despite what my hubby went through during his short stint on chemo I will be forever grateful for the extra time it has given us all and I can really relate to how Mrs B must  be feeling right now.

Hubby's palliative nurse phoned yesterday (in response to my answerphone message) and said he had been too busy to come but has rearranged for next Tuesday so hopefully I will be  back from visiting Mum.  Hoping hubby can get to do 'bloods' today but has to wait in for dressings nurse first.  Never a dull moment!! Its definitely the 'sore place' that is causing him the  most discomfort at the moment only really relieved when he is horizontal though it has not got any worse.  His skin is so thin  that its proving harder to heal but they are doing their best for him and call regularly and are trying different dressings too.

Well my chatting has once again moved time along and I must get ready for work (breakfast prepared for hubby so hope he manages it when he finishes dozing (he was up earlier than me today probably because he slept a lot yesterday).

Sending peaceful thoughts.  Jules x

Morning Jules,

I dont think you'll be doing much outside today if the weather here is anything to go by. My barometer has dropped way back since yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I gave one of my wood club member some friction polish as I dont use it and yesterday there was a knock on my door. He has given me a box load of exoctic / unusual homegrown timbers so will have to find something special to use them on.

We had a punch and judy performer at our wood club. The lady carves the figures while the husband is the performer. Took a lot of our member back to our chilhood. My son has some days of his holiday left so is finishing work today until the 5th of January.

While your hubby is sleeing so much, poor Mrs B has had several bad nights in a row and had very little sleep last night. I know this is something you mentioned you have problems with too. Garage is still nice and dry so it looks like sucess at long last. Came up with another idea for a short story last night while in bed. It's funny, I tend to do my best thinking late at night, with ideas for both stories and my woodturning. I suppose it's because there is no distractions like the TV.

I hope you dont have to go shopping today or if you do I hope hubby feels well enought to take you. I do hope hubby's sore improves soon for this must be very painful for him. Our elderly neighbour had a suspected cancerous growth removed from her should several weeks ago but is only now starting to heal up. She says her skin is very thing and some of the dressing hace caused problems as a result.

Take care Jules, I hope you have a peaceful weekend and are able to get to relax at some stage. Sending best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian

Hi Garf

Feel for your Mum as vertigo very unpleasant sensation.  Dad used to take tablets for it and wait for effects to pass and then would be much calmer about it all.  Mum also takes a 'balance' tablet due to irregularity within her ears - both ailments were diagnosed many years ago but the medication certainly helped to contro.  Am sure she really appreciates you staying in touch regularly - its not easy when you live so far away.  My friend from work is in Hay on Wye this weekend doing the pre-Christmas catch up with mother in law and her own Dad - both in their eighties and still living independently (her Dad is the local Dial a Ride driver too).

Hubby drove to get his blood test done yesterday and was  pretty tired on his return as he also picked up his 'pharmacy shopping' on the way back.  The pharmacist carried everything to the car and I unloaded it this end.  We are storing two different nutricious shakes (the newest one has been put on the menu by his dietician (smaller but packed with more goodness)) though  he is still finding difficult to get any enthusiasm for eating/drinking (and no doubt fed up with my reminders but its the only role I have other than to offer love and care).

We now have district nurse and palliative care coming on same day (Tuesday) and I had a chat with district nurse - she rang whilst hubby was out to change appointment time and explained that different 'pressure relief options' had  been offered but been declined by hubby.  They are concerned as this is not helping to get 'ulcer sore' healing and this is what is making hubby feel extra low (which he has admitted to!)  We are hoping that over a few days for him to think about a 'pressure relief mattress' (he can have this downstairs) he will agree (they told me it will be here within 48hrs of his saying yes).  In the meantime I am encouraging him to spend more time laying on the sofa.

  Am keeping everything crossed for Tuesday - have a busy day.  Eldest grandson  has his Nativity so I am babysitting for an hr or so in order that our daughter can go and watch (little ones not able to attend this year).  Then we will dash to care home to visit Mum and then I  need to get back home to be here for nurses' visit.  This is so I can have training for how to dress hubby's back as we should be at our son's over Christmas and will miss one nurses' visit.

Like yourself work is very busy now but I am not taking on increased hours (normally offer to help out a bit more at this time of year) as feel my place is at home as  much as possible (hubby does not want me to give up altogether and has consented to community nurses calling (according to his 'yellow folder'!).

Well have nattered enough and tonight, as my friend has a weekend away, I am treating our daughter to a bingo night out (providing her husband can get away from work in time).

Hope you taking care of yourself and finding the odd hour to relax with Mrs G.  Hugs   Jules x

Hi Garf

Feel for your Mum as vertigo very unpleasant sensation.  Dad used to take tablets for it and wait for effects to pass and then would be much calmer about it all.  Mum also takes a 'balance' tablet due to irregularity within her ears - both ailments were diagnosed many years ago but the medication certainly helped to contro.  Am sure she really appreciates you staying in touch regularly - its not easy when you live so far away.  My friend from work is in Hay on Wye this weekend doing the pre-Christmas catch up with mother in law and her own Dad - both in their eighties and still living independently (her Dad is the local Dial a Ride driver too).

Hubby drove to get his blood test done yesterday and was  pretty tired on his return as he also picked up his 'pharmacy shopping' on the way back.  The pharmacist carried everything to the car and I unloaded it this end.  We are storing two different nutricious shakes (the newest one has been put on the menu by his dietician (smaller but packed with more goodness)) though  he is still finding difficult to get any enthusiasm for eating/drinking (and no doubt fed up with my reminders but its the only role I have other than to offer love and care).

We now have district nurse and palliative care coming on same day (Tuesday) and I had a chat with district nurse - she rang whilst hubby was out to change appointment time and explained that different 'pressure relief options' had  been offered but been declined by hubby.  They are concerned as this is not helping to get 'ulcer sore' healing and this is what is making hubby feel extra low (which he has admitted to!)  We are hoping that over a few days for him to think about a 'pressure relief mattress' (he can have this downstairs) he will agree (they told me it will be here within 48hrs of his saying yes).  In the meantime I am encouraging him to spend more time laying on the sofa.

  Am keeping everything crossed for Tuesday - have a busy day.  Eldest grandson  has his Nativity so I am babysitting for an hr or so in order that our daughter can go and watch (little ones not able to attend this year).  Then we will dash to care home to visit Mum and then I  need to get back home to be here for nurses' visit.  This is so I can have training for how to dress hubby's back as we should be at our son's over Christmas and will miss one nurses' visit.

Like yourself work is very busy now but I am not taking on increased hours (normally offer to help out a bit more at this time of year) as feel my place is at home as  much as possible (hubby does not want me to give up altogether and has consented to community nurses calling (according to his 'yellow folder'!).

Well have nattered enough and tonight, as my friend has a weekend away, I am treating our daughter to a bingo night out (providing her husband can get away from work in time).

Hope you taking care of yourself and finding the odd hour to relax with Mrs G.  Hugs   Jules x

Hi Jules,

By now you will hopefully be playing bingo with your daughter who is bound to bring you that bit of extra luck for a win. I will think about you on your busy day on Tuesday especially learning to dress hubbys back and visiting your Mum.  My Mum is a lot better now and she hoped to still go Christmas shopping today but I don't know yet if she was well enough as I have not long got home from work and visiting Pat who I used to work for.

I am in for what should be a fully relaxing day tomorrow as Mrs G is off on a girls trip to London.  I am taking her to the train station for 8am and she won't be back until around 11pm so I will be home alone all day and evening.  I will have to try not to get myself into trouble!:p  She is then supposed to be going to Brighton for the full Christmas shop with the same crowd on Sunday but I have a sneaking suspicion they will be too tired for it so I may still be on "donkey duty" this year after all.>:)

I was very pleased to see that McLaren had finally come to their senses and given Jenson a two year deal to stay with them. He is said to have taken a pay cut to stay and so will now be paid a measly eight million a year. Shame for him eh!;)  He is still my favourite and am thrilled he is staying around for another couple of years.

Not much else to report here so I will sign off and just send hugs and best wishes your way.

Garf. xx

Hi Garf

Hope you enjoyed a peaceful weekend and that Mrs G achieved her shopping plans (no doubt cream-crackered by the time she got home) and enjoyed her girli/Christmas shopping.  Thankfully all  mine sorted and all cards sent/hand delivered.

Have had palliative care worker and district nurses here as planned today.  Options discussed as to a bed/pressure mattress to help relieve coccyx area (still refused by hubby though options remain open and we only need to put in request and it will be here within 48hrs).  I had my 'change the dressing' training so I can do the  necessary over Christmas whilst we are at our sons.  They were pleased to see 'no spread' and hubby has been laying down more than sitting so hopefully this will help.  He has also been suggested to switch to same level of medication but given just twice a day (slow release morphine) as hubby says he is not experiencing any breakthrough pain problems.  The new prescription can be upped as and when necessary or switched to patches if needs be.  I feel I am more in the know too which selfishly helps me!  As to the low eating/drinking they said he can do what he can manage when he can manage it (so my nagging needs to be put on hold!).

He has decided not to go out to the meal planned for this evening mainly because it entailed 'sitting' and too much food though he told me to go - I am staying at home too as it would not feel right being at a semi formal function without him.  We now just have GP routine appointment on Thursday so hopefully that will be it before the festivities(unless they decide then he needs transfusion - cross that bridge if it happens).

Thanks so much for your continued support and hope your Mum continues her improvement.

I have managed to babysit for a couple of hours (daughter and son in law watching eldest son's Christmas play), spent some time with Mum with daughter and Zack for company as well as being back home in time for nurses' visit so am now sitting with feet up and coffee (hubby having glass of milk and handful of chestnuts though today managed two weetabix for breakfast and also enjoyed daughter and Zack visiting for around an hour). 

Well that's enough of a ramble.  Wishing you a peaceful weekend (and yes very pleased Jenson gets to race next year too).  Regards  Jules x

Hi Jo

So nice to hear from you.  How are you doing?

Am counting down the hours to our appointment this afternoon and just feels like we are jumping hurdles towards Christmas at the moment.  Cannot believe I have managed to be organised though keeping busy seems the only way forward. So lucky to have supportive children close by as I know they must be struggling inside whilst bravely carrying on (we all know that feeling here).

Our 'Friday night socials' have continued so far though I am doubtful about  hubby making the walk to the pub this week though he is hoping to at least sit in with his mate over a glass of something whilt I am out with his wife.  Bingo prizes remain much the same (but depends on footfall) though to be honest the winning has become less important as its the getting out that offers the release just now.  Our friends also popped round for a cuppa yesterday afternoon.  As we could not attend the Christmas meal we were hoping to support on Tuesday I had asked them to buy raffle tickets on my behalf (raising funds for local hospice) and they turned up with three prizes for us!  The evening raised over £1200 so although not there in person we heard all about it which was lovely.

This Saturday is my work's Christmas meal so will see if I get to it. Its only for staff anyway but it will depend how things are.  I know hubby will want me to go as he tried to get me to go alone on Tuesday but that just did not feel right and have to go with my 'heart' at the moment.

With Christmas fast approaching work is understandably busy but their support has also been amazing and its helping with my coping mechanism as less time to think!

That new Aldi cheese sounds weird but wonderful and I have treated 'our table' to a basket of shortbread and fudge (both things that are very naughty but can be shared when people drop in). Hubby trying to up the amount of 'shakes' though know he is struggling (far to stubborn to admit it) and continues to refuse 'outside assistance/aids' (understand his need for independence but it would  make it easy for him and his body).

Take care and hope you are enjoying some peace and quiet before the festivities and maybe getting some strolls with partner and puppy (probably growing up fast - dog not other half ).  Sending hugs  Jules x

HI Jules,

I hope this afternoons meeting with gp weny well. Pleased to read you feel more in the knoe now;I feel it is always a help. I bet you and hubby will be pleased this is the last appointment before Christmas.

I have been a bit late on site  the last couple of days as Mrs B has also had her last appointment before Christmas, She is however a bit upset as she has been told her kidneys are not working as well as they should due in part to her diabetes.One more problem to add to her list and brings it up to about twelve health problems she faces on top of having to put up with me????? 

Sorry you did not feel like going to the charity do the other evening but can understand you felt you couldnt go without hubby as I often feel like this with Mrs B. Trouble is you can often feel guilty either way. Brother in law was in hospital again last weekend. He suffers from aterial fibrilation and collaped on Sunday morning. They have altered his heart medication and will just have to wait and see what happens. He got home on Tuesday and so far so good. My son has beten his personal best for his longbow by 41 points and is getting close to the county record.

I started writting this about a hour ago and had to stop for tea. Hope you enjoy your evening out tommorow and hubby enjoys a drink with his friend. Take care jules, Sending big hugs, Brian.

Hi Jo

By the time I posted this morning I had already been up an hour!!!  My usual get up time is 6 am and I leave for work at 7.30 but somehow my body clock does not differentiate between work and non work days lol.

Visit to GP had mixed results in that his bloods showed better levels than last time in most respects (a surprise even to the doctor!).  However it also flagged raised white cells which usually indicates an infection so she has prescribed antibiotics just in case which I can collect in the morning.  Another plus was that swab of his coccyx sore shows no infection present.  By the time we got home (he insisted on driving himself despite offer of a lift) he was shattered and is now curled up in front of the fire.  Unless things change he goes back in three weeks and must try and eat/drink as and when he can to try and improve energy levels.

Wishing you a peaceful and happy weekend.  Seasonal hugs.  Jules x

Hi Brian

Thanks for your kind words and GP check up had mixed results - good points were that ulcer is infection free (they took a swab to check) and also his blood tests showed improvement in some areas (so should not require blood transfusion) but also evidence of possible infection.  As he has been coughing a lot more in recent days she has prescribed a course of antibiotics to be on the safe side (especially with Christmas now fast approaching).  He is pretty wobbly on his pins (but refusing help as usual) so may not make it down the pub (too far to walk) but I am hoping he will feel up to keeping his mate company indoors as it will do him good to have some one else to chat with.   All staying stable his next check up will be in  mid January though district nurses will still come in twice a week for dressings.

Sorry to hear that Mrs B is experiencing kidney problems and hope new medication will help her out.  I know diabetes can have so many different affects on the body and I am sure you will be keeping an eye on her whilst she keeps as eye on the nut supplies!!!  Also hope the brother in law will continue to improve following his collapse which must be worrying for all concerned.

Have heard today that hubby's siblings arrived safely on the Isle of Man and his sister is now settling herself in (with her two cats) whilst brother and sister in law return to collect rest of belongings and their two dogs.  At least now we have an address and landline and before long they will be back online too so can keep them updated.

Well our daughter is taking me shopping in the morning (after I have been to launderette) so that should be my last trip before Christmas (will  just get in basic supplies as in theory we are away from Xmas Eve through to the 27th).  I only have two days left to do at work next week before a four day break though expect to be kept pretty busy.  Think we are non uniform on the 24th so may have to break out Christmas hat/jumper ha ha.

Have a peaceful weekend with Mrs B and good to see that your son is doing well.  Regards Jules x

Hi Jules,

Just wanted to drop you a quick line after being somewhat absent for the last week.  Work has been crazy and problematic to put it mildly and it's all too long winded to go into here.  I have also been doing some investigative work into Dad's past this last week.

I always knew that he served in the merchant navy and sailed up and down the east coast of America but I found out recently what shipping company he worked for.  As a result I have downloaded a great picture of the ship he was on but there is also a website that is still going run by the people who once worked for Manchester Shipping even though it has been out of business since the early eighties. I have given them as much detail as I can and I am hoping to be contacted by someone who knew him althouhg I know it is a long shot as there were many ships at the time that sailed all over the world.

Right I have to get back but I will send the compulsory hugs and best wishes to you both.

Garf. xx