Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

Jules,

Big Hugs

Annabel. xx

Hi all

Sorry this has to be a joint response to you all but am absolutely emotionally drained at present and do want to take the time to thank you all for your wonderful supportive words/hugs.

I spent around an hour at my friends bedside yesterday afternoon. Sadly once the decline began it has been pretty rapid and though she is still able to hear everything that is going on she is now unable to respond.  Her husband was so appreciative of my visit (and those of other friends and relations) and we are greatly relieved that she has no pain and the hospice room she has is so tranquil and they have an aviary just across the corridor.

Also had my 'care plan update' with Mum at the residential home this morning.  Really is just 'protocol' but gives you the chance to comment and the forms just lay on file.  Mum answered for herself no problem and though I planned to stay on afterwards she decided otherwise and I was 'dismissed' much to the staff's amusement but you just have to go with the flow (whatever keeps her as happy as possible!!).  Sadly it did not help that she asked after my friend and when I gently told her the news the response was 'wish it was me' and then asked when I was going!!  It was a long walk home (via the sweet shop!!).

  Yes, Hope I feel very humble so really related to your post. Thanks for thinking of me even when you are going through your own grieving process. Birthdays and Anniversaries do have a way of knocking you back and its a shame that your husband's trip is not good timing wise.  Some men still don't understand us women and our 'needs' at these times.  Am here any time you want to chat (or you can private message me if  your prefer).

Brian,

It was good to read that your Dad has gone for rehab but know you must all feel sad that he may not be able to return to his own home.  What a fighter he has been and hope you manage that phone call this weekend - know its no easy with time differences but am sure you will both appreciate it.

Annabel

Thanks so much for the virtual supportive hugs.  The news regarding my friend has been hard (we are the same age and met when our first children were just 'bumps'). but the  hospice 'family' are just truly amazing and the family has my ongoing support as and when needed. I walk past their house twice a day when I go to work and its never going to be the same but somehow we are finding strength together to walk the steps we have to take.

Gill

How are you? Did you get on okay at the next check up?  Thinking of you all. Jules  xx  p.s. apologies if I have forgotten to mention something important but my head is 'in and out of gear'.

Hello Jules I have not been on here a lot lately but when I do I always check on how things are with you and hubby ...Just having hubby to care for is enough to cope with but how sad to have your friend being so ill to cope with must be very hard for you ,and mum being mum so difficult ..I realy think you need some me time so try to get some maybe a hairdo or facial or manicure anything to give you some relaxation  ,please try ..I have had a few down days yesterday was our wedding anniversary 41 years I can remember every moment of that beautiful day I was so lucky to have had Tony for my husband I miss him terribly ..All I can say is make as much out of life with hubby as you can tell him how you feel about him and how much you love him even if he dosnt want to talk..The weather is dry sunny but chilly wind today I have managed to do a bit of dead heading in the garden My son Dylan took his partner Bryony to the pictures on Wednesday and I babysat for little James I sang every nursery rhyme I could think of to him he looked me right in the eye although at 2weeks old I dont think Ihe can see properly if he could speak I think he would have said please stop granny ha ha right Jules I hope you have a lovely restfull weekend ...Big hugs Susananne   x

Hi Susananne

Thanks so much for your kind message.  Sometimes life just deals us such cruel blows but there are many worse off too.  I am glad you had so many years of wonderful memories with Tony and wish for your sake you could have  had longer.  He would be immensely proud of how 'granny' is doing with new edition James and how lovely that you are close enough to be able to help out (my daughter and son both live close by too and are a great source of support!) Hubby has been a little better the last few days and today managed to go and have his haircut and pick up his medication whilst I was with Mum.  The haircut was certainly needed but you dont like to nag.  Funny you should mention giving myself a treat; on a pure whim I went and had my eyebrows 'threaded' and it felt good!  We have our social night out tonight with our friends so a little win at the bingo would be a bonus!!

Keep on enjoying the company of your baby grandson (my newest is now nearly 7 months and I wonder where the time has gone).  Blustery showery day here today (more of the same promised for the weekend so may have to dodge the showers to do  the supermarket shop and mow the lawn). Well best go and clear up after lunch and hubby is enjoying F1 coverage of pre-practice so I have a lot to be thankful for.  Sending hugs and kind thoughts your way. Jules

PS NOTE TO ALL - Its 11.20 and my friend has passed away peacefully with her family around her. R I P. matey.

Hi Jules,

I am so sorry to hear that your friend has passed away.  I hope you can take some comfort from the fact that you visited her yesterday and know that she was not in pain and that the hospice care was so good.  There is no easy way to lose somebody we love and I am thinking of you today.  Your visit to your Mum also sounded difficult and it must have made you a bit angry at what she said, I'm sure she doesn't mean to hiurt you but is just mixed up in her own problems.  Thank you also for your kind words to me which I really appreciate, I will PM you at a later date, meanwhile you take care.  I'm sure you will be helping your friend's hubby too as you are such a supportive person.  Hope xx

Oh Jules,

I am so sorry to read about your friends passing. It was good that you were able to visit her one last time and that she had her family with her. I know you are going to miss her. I will be thinking of you today Jules. Please take care big hugs Brian.

Morning Hope

Many thanks for your continued support and understanding.  You are right I was indeed fortunate to have the privilege of a final goodbye and she has three wonderful adult sons who,together with her husband, made sure that during her last 4 months she did whatever she wanted when and how she wanted.  Her husband even has a 'handy jotter', which she wrote instructions in, in drawers throughout the house which has already created laughter amongst the obvious sadness.  The family are well aware I am on hand if they need me but will give them the necessary space.

At the moment have a different emergency on my hands.  Just had a call from our daughter to say they are on their way by ambulance to A&E as eldest grandson has  received a knock on his nose which has resulted in non-stopping nosebleed (has previous history with these) so am sitting tight in case we have to go and assist with baby!!  They think its just a precaution but  better safe than sorry.

Onwards and upwards.  Take care of yourself  Sending hugs Jules x 

Hi Brian

Thanks for your supportive words and you are right I will miss her.  Am sort of on auto pilot at present but she was a very strong lady and hoping I can do her memory justice by giving my support to her family as and when asked.  As I have just posted to Hope am in yet another turmoil at present with eldest grandson on the way to A&E and awaiting follow up call from our daughter and son in law once they know what is happening as we may have to go and pick up the baby and help out.  Will catch up again soon.  Hope you and Mrs B hae a good weekend. Hugs  Jules x

Hi again Jules,

Just wanted to say that I hope all goes well with your grandson at A&E.  Bad nosebleeds can be very frightening and somehow seem to affect little ones as they grow (mine used to get them), but wise to get checked out following a knock.  Please let us know how he is and hope the rest of your weekend will be peaceful as you remember your friend with fondness.  Hope x

Hi Jules

So sorry to hear about your friend passing but as you say at least you had the chance of a final goodbye.

Sorry I have not responded sooner but was in hopsital.  Went on Tuesday for the usual and they were not very happy.  Sent me home on the basis I would good back next day for a further blood test.  This came back to say I might have an infection.  After the on call doctor saying I could go home with oral antibitoics my own consultant returned to the hospital after a meeting and said no I had to be admitted.  After some messing about I finally got admitted on to a Medical Assessment Ward (no other beds) and was finally transferred very late on Thursday to the Cancer Ward. Have felt absolutely fine all the time but Consultant said there was obviously something because the infection marker was up and I was already on the normal antibiotics. He wanted me to stay until Monday but we agreed that I could come home today and go back the hospital twice later on today and three times tomorrow for the final doses of IV antibtiotics. 

It is so annoying because I had finished the full chemo and expected things to just get better and better.  That said it might have been because I have been doing a lot more recently. 

Do hope you Mum and hubby are well.

Gill

Hi Jules

So sorry to hear about your friend passing but as you say at least you had the chance of a final goodbye.

Sorry I have not responded sooner but was in hopsital.  Went on Tuesday for the usual and they were not very happy.  Sent me home on the basis I would good back next day for a further blood test.  This came back to say I might have an infection.  After the on call doctor saying I could go home with oral antibitoics my own consultant returned to the hospital after a meeting and said no I had to be admitted.  After some messing about I finally got admitted on to a Medical Assessment Ward (no other beds) and was finally transferred very late on Thursday to the Cancer Ward. Have felt absolutely fine all the time but Consultant said there was obviously something because the infection marker was up and I was already on the normal antibiotics. He wanted me to stay until Monday but we agreed that I could come home today and go back the hospital twice later on today and three times tomorrow for the final doses of IV antibtiotics. 

It is so annoying because I had finished the full chemo and expected things to just get better and better.  That said it might have been because I have been doing a lot more recently. 

Do hope you Mum and hubby are well.

Gill

Hi Gill

So sorry to hear you have been 'going through the mill' and do hope the treatment you are now receiving will knock the infection on the head. Its obviously for the best that you were admiited,assessed and treated and hope  you will be looking after yourself at home - no naughty extra bits of housework.  Expect you are finding it very frustrating after things were going so will but hopefully a 'little blip' and then back on the full recovery route (albeit at a slower pace perhaps).

Hubby had a nice social night out last night and is plodding on.  Mum is much the same.  I spoke this morning to her younger sister (84) and they really are 'chalk and cheese' but was so good to have a bright voice on the phone interested in life in general - lifted my spirits I can tell you.

Thanks for your kind words and do hope you will be feeling a lot better soon.  Sending hugs Jules x

Hi Jules

The really annoying thing was that I felt fine all the time.  It was only the blood results and that my temperature was high (38.1) that indicated there might be something,  Just got really bored in hospital as no mobile signal - tried texting husband and daughter and then had to go wandering round the ward and holding the phone out of the window in the hope of getting a signal.  Worked a couple of times but after that nothing at all.  Just sat and read most of the time.  Thank god for kindle.

Gill

Hi Gill

Hope return visits to the hospital today have gone okay.  Can 'read' the frustration in your posts but good that they picked it up and were able to act quickly which hopefully will nip the infection in the bud.  Nothing more annoying than being out of contact when you so much feel the need for a comforting voice on the end of the line.  Does make you wonder how we ever managed before the introduction of the 'net' and mobiles and sometimes had to be patient for days (we did not even have a home landline for years!!) and in my teenage years (okay that was  in ancient times) my then boyfriend - now hubby) used to walk the family dog to the 'red box' at the end of his road to contact me once a week!!  Okay so now I am feeling my age!!

Hope the rest of your weekend passes peacefully and the drugs do the trick.  Jules xx