Jules,

How wonderful that your friend is still her core self and giving instructions. I love it. !!!!

Such a wonderful character. I really hope you have a wonderful visit wth her.

Will look out for your report on how t went.

Look after yourself Jules

Annabel. xx

Hi Jules,

Just had an e-mail from my sister in Canada. Dad is out of hospital and is now in re-hab but she tells me he is very weak and still has the infection. She also tells me she doesn't think he will be able to go home again and that it's not looking good for him. He has put up one heck of a fight but she says he just doesn't seem to have any energy left. Will try to phone at the weekend. But knowing dad, he may yet surprise everyone like he has done in the past as he just doesn't know how to give in.

I hope your visit to you dear friend went well. I often wonder why so many good people suffer, it's just not fair.

I hope you enjoy your weekend and that the weather allows you to get out in your garden and that you get some time to read as well.

Take care Jules, best wishes to you and your family hugs, Brian

Jules,

Big Hugs

Annabel. xx

Hi all

Sorry this has to be a joint response to you all but am absolutely emotionally drained at present and do want to take the time to thank you all for your wonderful supportive words/hugs.

I spent around an hour at my friends bedside yesterday afternoon. Sadly once the decline began it has been pretty rapid and though she is still able to hear everything that is going on she is now unable to respond.  Her husband was so appreciative of my visit (and those of other friends and relations) and we are greatly relieved that she has no pain and the hospice room she has is so tranquil and they have an aviary just across the corridor.

Also had my 'care plan update' with Mum at the residential home this morning.  Really is just 'protocol' but gives you the chance to comment and the forms just lay on file.  Mum answered for herself no problem and though I planned to stay on afterwards she decided otherwise and I was 'dismissed' much to the staff's amusement but you just have to go with the flow (whatever keeps her as happy as possible!!).  Sadly it did not help that she asked after my friend and when I gently told her the news the response was 'wish it was me' and then asked when I was going!!  It was a long walk home (via the sweet shop!!).

  Yes, Hope I feel very humble so really related to your post. Thanks for thinking of me even when you are going through your own grieving process. Birthdays and Anniversaries do have a way of knocking you back and its a shame that your husband's trip is not good timing wise.  Some men still don't understand us women and our 'needs' at these times.  Am here any time you want to chat (or you can private message me if  your prefer).

Brian,

It was good to read that your Dad has gone for rehab but know you must all feel sad that he may not be able to return to his own home.  What a fighter he has been and hope you manage that phone call this weekend - know its no easy with time differences but am sure you will both appreciate it.

Annabel

Thanks so much for the virtual supportive hugs.  The news regarding my friend has been hard (we are the same age and met when our first children were just 'bumps'). but the  hospice 'family' are just truly amazing and the family has my ongoing support as and when needed. I walk past their house twice a day when I go to work and its never going to be the same but somehow we are finding strength together to walk the steps we have to take.

Gill

How are you? Did you get on okay at the next check up?  Thinking of you all. Jules  xx  p.s. apologies if I have forgotten to mention something important but my head is 'in and out of gear'.

Hello Jules I have not been on here a lot lately but when I do I always check on how things are with you and hubby ...Just having hubby to care for is enough to cope with but how sad to have your friend being so ill to cope with must be very hard for you ,and mum being mum so difficult ..I realy think you need some me time so try to get some maybe a hairdo or facial or manicure anything to give you some relaxation  ,please try ..I have had a few down days yesterday was our wedding anniversary 41 years I can remember every moment of that beautiful day I was so lucky to have had Tony for my husband I miss him terribly ..All I can say is make as much out of life with hubby as you can tell him how you feel about him and how much you love him even if he dosnt want to talk..The weather is dry sunny but chilly wind today I have managed to do a bit of dead heading in the garden My son Dylan took his partner Bryony to the pictures on Wednesday and I babysat for little James I sang every nursery rhyme I could think of to him he looked me right in the eye although at 2weeks old I dont think Ihe can see properly if he could speak I think he would have said please stop granny ha ha right Jules I hope you have a lovely restfull weekend ...Big hugs Susananne   x

Hi Susananne

Thanks so much for your kind message.  Sometimes life just deals us such cruel blows but there are many worse off too.  I am glad you had so many years of wonderful memories with Tony and wish for your sake you could have  had longer.  He would be immensely proud of how 'granny' is doing with new edition James and how lovely that you are close enough to be able to help out (my daughter and son both live close by too and are a great source of support!) Hubby has been a little better the last few days and today managed to go and have his haircut and pick up his medication whilst I was with Mum.  The haircut was certainly needed but you dont like to nag.  Funny you should mention giving myself a treat; on a pure whim I went and had my eyebrows 'threaded' and it felt good!  We have our social night out tonight with our friends so a little win at the bingo would be a bonus!!

Keep on enjoying the company of your baby grandson (my newest is now nearly 7 months and I wonder where the time has gone).  Blustery showery day here today (more of the same promised for the weekend so may have to dodge the showers to do  the supermarket shop and mow the lawn). Well best go and clear up after lunch and hubby is enjoying F1 coverage of pre-practice so I have a lot to be thankful for.  Sending hugs and kind thoughts your way. Jules

PS NOTE TO ALL - Its 11.20 and my friend has passed away peacefully with her family around her. R I P. matey.

Hi Jules,

I am so sorry to hear that your friend has passed away.  I hope you can take some comfort from the fact that you visited her yesterday and know that she was not in pain and that the hospice care was so good.  There is no easy way to lose somebody we love and I am thinking of you today.  Your visit to your Mum also sounded difficult and it must have made you a bit angry at what she said, I'm sure she doesn't mean to hiurt you but is just mixed up in her own problems.  Thank you also for your kind words to me which I really appreciate, I will PM you at a later date, meanwhile you take care.  I'm sure you will be helping your friend's hubby too as you are such a supportive person.  Hope xx

Oh Jules,

I am so sorry to read about your friends passing. It was good that you were able to visit her one last time and that she had her family with her. I know you are going to miss her. I will be thinking of you today Jules. Please take care big hugs Brian.

Morning Hope

Many thanks for your continued support and understanding.  You are right I was indeed fortunate to have the privilege of a final goodbye and she has three wonderful adult sons who,together with her husband, made sure that during her last 4 months she did whatever she wanted when and how she wanted.  Her husband even has a 'handy jotter', which she wrote instructions in, in drawers throughout the house which has already created laughter amongst the obvious sadness.  The family are well aware I am on hand if they need me but will give them the necessary space.

At the moment have a different emergency on my hands.  Just had a call from our daughter to say they are on their way by ambulance to A&E as eldest grandson has  received a knock on his nose which has resulted in non-stopping nosebleed (has previous history with these) so am sitting tight in case we have to go and assist with baby!!  They think its just a precaution but  better safe than sorry.

Onwards and upwards.  Take care of yourself  Sending hugs Jules x