Hi CAE

Have read your post about your mums diagnosis and wish you and the family all the best and lots of strength to cope  with her cancer journey. It sounds as though a treatment plan is already in place with the chemo so the best suggestion I can give is for you to take it one day at a time so you dont get too bogged down with what ifs and worry unnecessarily (easier to say than to put in practice I know).  My hubby was diagnosed with an incurable cancer last February and if I was honest I did not believe he would be here now but he is and following his chemo to help control the growth, he is now putting a bit of weight back on and coping on pain relief which I find amazing.  This is why I say concentrate on the now and as you have a lovely close family you will travel the road together.  This forum as you have read and  as Brian has also mentioned, is a great way to air your feelings and views with people who understand. Its also worth writing  down any questions you may have and then at the right moment you can ask for answers.  Wishing you all a good outcome to the chemo and do remember as well as your Mum all the family need to look after themselves.Continue to drop into the site whenever you feel like it' there is always someone out there happy to chat.  Dont forget too that you can tell your daughter all about the fantastic Mum you have, she may not fully understand now but it will help you to talk to her and gives you something to focus on. My grandson is 4 and has kept us all amused during the past year.

Take care Jules54

Hi CAE

Have read your post about your mums diagnosis and wish you and the family all the best and lots of strength to cope  with her cancer journey. It sounds as though a treatment plan is already in place with the chemo so the best suggestion I can give is for you to take it one day at a time so you dont get too bogged down with what ifs and worry unnecessarily (easier to say than to put in practice I know).  My hubby was diagnosed with an incurable cancer last February and if I was honest I did not believe he would be here now but he is and following his chemo to help control the growth, he is now putting a bit of weight back on and coping on pain relief which I find amazing.  This is why I say concentrate on the now and as you have a lovely close family you will travel the road together.  This forum as you have read and  as Brian has also mentioned, is a great way to air your feelings and views with people who understand. Its also worth writing  down any questions you may have and then at the right moment you can ask for answers.  Wishing you all a good outcome to the chemo and do remember as well as your Mum all the family need to look after themselves.Continue to drop into the site whenever you feel like it' there is always someone out there happy to chat.  Dont forget too that you can tell your daughter all about the fantastic Mum you have, she may not fully understand now but it will help you to talk to her and gives you something to focus on. My grandson is 4 and has kept us all amused during the past year.

Take care Jules54

Hello Jules,

Thank you for your lovely reply, it really does help to hear other's stories and know that we are not alone in coping with these ordeals.

I am sorry to hear about your husband's cancer, and the fact that it has been diagnosed as incurable - but to hear that and know he is not only still here, but also getting stronger is fantastic news, and a massive boost - I am sure you feel the same, and long may that good news continue.  You are absolutely right to say to focus on the here and now, as at the beginning you never expect there to be any good news, but your husband's case proves that to be wrong, and somehow puts the idea of good news in a diferent perspective which is also something you cannot imagine when faced with something like this.  I hope that all makes sense!

Thank you for your words about my daughter - along with my fear for what my mum will endure in the coming weeks/months, that really has been the hardest thing to cope with - of all the painful thoughts, it really is the one that gets me most.  I am naturally someone who cries as a coping mechanism, but the thought that my daughter might not grow up knowing my mum is unthinkable - but you are absolutely right that should the worst happen (and I know it may not!) then I will be able to help her know my mum in other ways.

My family will all draw strength from each other in this, and for that I know I am lucky.  And we will all look after each other - my Dad is struggling to shake off a chest infection which developed from a series of colds over the Christmas period, and he has not been sleeping well since my Mum's diagnosis.  So we are all now rallying round to ease some of the current pressure on him so he can concentrate on getting better.  It just goes to show how important it is that we all look after ourselves, as what good are we if we get poorly too?!

I will be dropping into the site, and thank you again for taking the time to write.

Wishing you all the very best and keeping everything crossed that your husband's current progression continues.

Catherine x