Hello Plumduff

I am sorry its over a day since you posted i dont log in often so I hope you have managed to reach out in person too but in case 

I too have been with my hubby for over 40 years. Its natural to feel scared and angry

And to wonder what is going to happen.

Have you spoken to anyone else how you feel? It is important to look after your own emotional wellbeing at this time.

If you need to talk in middle of night Samaritans are there phone calls are free

Macmillan have a helpline in the day time

And your hubby team should have given you info to ask for help for both of you. If not ask ask ask 

And most importantly you are not selfish this is big and you are a grieving wife processing difficult things

Be kind to yourself 

Sending hugs 

Hi Plumduff, I don’t have any advice but just wanted to comment as what you wrote really resonated with me. My husband was recently diagnosed with bowel cancer and has since had part of his colon removed. I’ve been through so many emotions and one is anger. This is my first post on here so not sure of protocols but just wanted to send you a virtual hug and say I get how you’re feeling and it’s not selfish, it’s really hard being the carer I’m sure you are doing your best for him. Take care. 

Hi Violet68

Welcome 

Im sorry you are going through this too you are not alone

I have been on a rollercoaster so far and I am sure you have too from what you say.

None of us planned to be in this spot and it is tough ...sending hugs to you too

Hi. Thanks for replying  we haven't been given any information about emotional support. I hate seeing him ill and I guess I'm scared of the future. There is a macmillon contact at the hospital so I will start there. I'm feeling a bit more positive today and I'm glad I came on here  

Hi Violet. That was my first post and I'm glad now I reached out. I always thought I'd be this great wise tower of strength if john or the kids got really sick and instead I'm wanting him to tell me it'll all be okay, but he can't. I think my anger is really aimed at the doctor who took 13 months to send him for a ct scan by which time it had spread. If she had done something sooner he could have recovered. 

Hi Plumduff

Glad you have come back id say definitely 

Contact Macmillian they helped sort out our finances double quick all over the phone ...might not be your first thought buincluding PIP which due to situation was 2weeks and done and now have carers allowance too

 Less to worry about financially ...

Yes feeling angry at the medical team is understandable in the circumstances and my heart goes out to you both and family

my hubby has incurable cancer too.......its gutting ....we are trying to make the best of every day .....

He has seen a counsellor too which is helpful .....men try to be strong dont they

I struggle at times too and its okay Plumduff let it out 

Sending hugs

I'm glad you're feeling a bit more positive. Definitely contact MacMillan and there may be other local cancer support groups. The hospital should also be able to sign post you to what support agencies are available. Do the hospital have a colorectal team? My nurses are amazing in the team here and I wouldn't have got through without them - they've been 100% supportive to me and my wife as my 'carer'

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been let down, heartbreaking that it could have been avoided. My husband was sent home from hospital after being in a week without being told he was anaemic, found out over 4 months later when he had his pre op, then discovered mass in his colon. So angry they cancelled his initial appointment as had it been done the operation he had would not have been as complex and wouldn’t have needed the drainage bag which is causing him a lot of discomfort. Hopefully this will be removed tomorrow. Sending lots of love to you and your family xx

Thank you. It’s a hell of a ride. I’m so sorry your husband’s is incurable. I hope you have lots of support around you, it is so very hard being the carer. Sending you love, hugs and strength xx

Thank You Violet68

I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful words.

Hope your hubby's op goes well

Sending you hugs and love to help you throug

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