Hi Louise, I'm in a similar situation with my husband who tends to be more pessimistic with things. I've found that counselling has been really helpful to me (I found mine through talking to MacMillan and our local hospice). It can get really tiring trying to be the positive one and keep him upbeat about everything so having someone else to talk to about my own negative thoughts was really helpful, and making sure to talk to friends outwith that as well is vital. 

Feel free to rant to me about anything as I know how it feels! Trying to stay patient when he is being negative can be so hard, even small things like the chemo is causing my husband's hair to thin and he was certain he would be fully bald soon but I was saying it wasn't falling out as much as at the beginning and he just wouldn't believe me! I've definitely learned that I'm able to be much more patient than I previously thought haha! 

I tend to continue to point out the good things and be optimistic with my husband even if he won't agree, and just focus on the little positives every day. I hope things go well for you both.

Laura x

Hi Laura

Thanks so much for your kind reply.  I never thought about seeking counselling for mself so I am grateful for that information. My partner has only just started his hormone therapy and is still waiting to start his radiotherapy which I think will be soon.  Although we have been together for over 20 years, we do not live together (we are about 12 miles apart) I know he will be more depressed when I am not there.  He has been given loads of information from the hospital on what to expect and possible side effects. He just homes in on the worst scenarios and decides that that is what is going to happen. He doesn't want anyone to know either which is going to get difficult if he has to back out of things and is going to make things hard for me.

However, I will certainly seek out some one to talk to to help me cope. I just don't want to say the wrong thing.  Thanks again for your message.  Best wishes to you both

Louise x

Oh gosh, trying to not let anyone know would definitely be hard! I can see why he wants to do that but I is he ok with you telling your friends or family at all? I think it's important to tell him that you're affected and struggling as well and need that support. Counselling is definitely a big help and especially if you can't talk to anyone else! Have a look for a Maggie's centre near you, they're lovely wee places where people affected by cancer can go and have a cup of tea, they do classes and things and have counsellors on site so you can just pop in and talk to someone if they're available which would be quicker than waiting for a regular counsellor on a waiting list. 

I hope things get easier for you xx

Oh gosh, trying to not let anyone know would definitely be hard! I can see why he wants to do that but I is he ok with you telling your friends or family at all? I think it's important to tell him that you're affected and struggling as well and need that support. Counselling is definitely a big help and especially if you can't talk to anyone else! Have a look for a Maggie's centre near you, they're lovely wee places where people affected by cancer can go and have a cup of tea, they do classes and things and have counsellors on site so you can just pop in and talk to someone if they're available which would be quicker than waiting for a regular counsellor on a waiting list. 

I hope things get easier for you xx