Cancer has turned my mum in to a monster

My mum has just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Right up until 10 weeks ago she had zero symptoms. Then just before Christmas she had tenderness and pain in her lower abdomen. She was fine in her self , eatting and being her amazing self. Fast forward the first week in January 2024 and this mass turns out to be a huge tumor in her pelvis. She has lost a massive amount of weight and isn’t eatting. What she does eat barely covers 300cals a day. She is laying in bed all day just taking morphine for the pain. We have an appointment with the gynocologist in a few days. She has all of a sudden become bitter and a person I barely know. I asked had someone else jumped in her body as my mum would never sit by and watch me cry but she did with no emotion. She has become rude and snappy and my dad who is 88 is baring the brunt. Could it be that it has spread to her brain or does cancer turn you in to a monster?  I am at my wits end. She should be in hospital as if the cancer doesn’t kill her the malnutrition and refusal to eat will. Sorry just needed to rant. 

Parents
  • Hi Annie123

    we are literaly at the start of the journey and I am just distraught. I know it’s not about me but it’s as if she is just wallowing in self pitty and given up. I have a son who I refuse to take over to see her as he has additional needs and as she has lost so much weight he is scared and she isn’t trying to get her self strong. I have told her they won’t operate if she is too weak. She is 70 and has just become so selfish so I hope it is the morphine. I’m going to explain this on Tuesday when we are at the hospital and I hope they keep her in as she isn’t safe being at home currently and needs food. She has been referred to the dietician to but they arn’t quick. This was not how I thought things would go. I turnned 40 a week ago and my brother is zero help he just goes to my parents for money so trying to work and care for a family and my parents has become hard. I have gone from daughter to carer. I am glad I am not the only one who has experienced this 

  • Thank you, 

    the GP won’t prescribe the drinks without her seeing a dietician so I have bought her nutrient at the moment. Yes the morphine has made her sick as she has nothing on the tummy. I hope you are right about the plan and officiallly being told as right now she has just gave up and looks gray and poorly. 

  • Hi Griffin-Hunt

    thingsbare better. Got mum off the morphine and she is back to her lovely self. Cancer has been diagnosed but trying to find the primary source so had her at hospital for a biopsy yesterday to hopefully help find the primary source as the spread is very extensive. She isn’t in pain anymore so hope that’s a good thing. 

    it sounds like you are doing amazing and what’s right for your mum. Working and trying to care for someone is hard and I am feeling it now. I am exhausted and work thinks it’s ok to switch me around as I am just a number to them but I am struggling. Hope you get answers soon. 

Reply
  • Hi Griffin-Hunt

    thingsbare better. Got mum off the morphine and she is back to her lovely self. Cancer has been diagnosed but trying to find the primary source so had her at hospital for a biopsy yesterday to hopefully help find the primary source as the spread is very extensive. She isn’t in pain anymore so hope that’s a good thing. 

    it sounds like you are doing amazing and what’s right for your mum. Working and trying to care for someone is hard and I am feeling it now. I am exhausted and work thinks it’s ok to switch me around as I am just a number to them but I am struggling. Hope you get answers soon. 

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