Cancer has turned my mum in to a monster

My mum has just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Right up until 10 weeks ago she had zero symptoms. Then just before Christmas she had tenderness and pain in her lower abdomen. She was fine in her self , eatting and being her amazing self. Fast forward the first week in January 2024 and this mass turns out to be a huge tumor in her pelvis. She has lost a massive amount of weight and isn’t eatting. What she does eat barely covers 300cals a day. She is laying in bed all day just taking morphine for the pain. We have an appointment with the gynocologist in a few days. She has all of a sudden become bitter and a person I barely know. I asked had someone else jumped in her body as my mum would never sit by and watch me cry but she did with no emotion. She has become rude and snappy and my dad who is 88 is baring the brunt. Could it be that it has spread to her brain or does cancer turn you in to a monster?  I am at my wits end. She should be in hospital as if the cancer doesn’t kill her the malnutrition and refusal to eat will. Sorry just needed to rant. 

Parents
  • Hi Hetty

    So sorry to hear that you are having to go through this.  If your mum has gone like this since that she has been on the morphine, that may be what is causing it.  My mum had secondary breast cancer in her bones and was in awful pain, she was admitted to hospital and put on morphine initially, she turned from the most kind and mild mannered lady to an absolute b**ch, she was ringing my dad at all times of the night yelling and swearing down the phone at him, rang me and yelled that I never do anything to help her (i had just spent 6 months taking her to every doctors and hospital visit).  Dad and I were in absolute pieces thinking that she was going to be like this until she died, luckily after a few days she got stroppy with one of the doctors, I also spoke to them about her character change when I went to hospital, and asked them to take her mobile phone away as my dad was distraught.  They changed her pain relief to Oxycodone and within hours, she was back to my calm kind mum again.

    I hope that it is just the medication that is affecting her, this is a hard enough journey to have to travel, without this to deal with as well.

    Best wishes

    Annie

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  • Hi Hetty

    So sorry to hear that you are having to go through this.  If your mum has gone like this since that she has been on the morphine, that may be what is causing it.  My mum had secondary breast cancer in her bones and was in awful pain, she was admitted to hospital and put on morphine initially, she turned from the most kind and mild mannered lady to an absolute b**ch, she was ringing my dad at all times of the night yelling and swearing down the phone at him, rang me and yelled that I never do anything to help her (i had just spent 6 months taking her to every doctors and hospital visit).  Dad and I were in absolute pieces thinking that she was going to be like this until she died, luckily after a few days she got stroppy with one of the doctors, I also spoke to them about her character change when I went to hospital, and asked them to take her mobile phone away as my dad was distraught.  They changed her pain relief to Oxycodone and within hours, she was back to my calm kind mum again.

    I hope that it is just the medication that is affecting her, this is a hard enough journey to have to travel, without this to deal with as well.

    Best wishes

    Annie

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