I've just found out my mum's cancer will be terminal.

My mum is only in her early 50's and is the strongest and most selfless person I know. In January she went in for a simple hysterectomy after being assured her bleeding was a result of the menopause and definitely was not cancer.

When they did the surgery, the found a cancerous tumour and removed as much of it as they could. A month or so later, we found out she also had another primary cancer - in her bowel. She had aggressive chemo and immunotherapy and we were told the prognosis was positive although it would be a long road ahead. Fast forward 9 months and my poor mum has had several hospital admissions due to sepsis and immune mediated colitis as a result of the chemo destroying her immune system. A few days ago, we were told she only had a couple of months to live. The next day they told us that perhaps they were wrong and she had much longer. Yesterday they told us they have found shadows in her liver and it was be that the cancer has spread.

I am so confused and broken. The information we are getting keeps changing and I feel so lost and helpless. Up until a few days ago, I knew my mum was really sick but I had hope she would eventually get better. Now I feel like I have to face the reality that it's unlikely she ever will and I don't know how much time I have left with her. She is my best friend and the thought of going on without her seems impossible. I dont know how best to support her. She is quite confused and sometimes agitated at the moment and I don't know how best to help. I'm heart broken. Sorry this is just a long message about how I'm feeling but I'm just so lost right now.

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  • Welcome to forum EmmaLou although I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must have been to find out her diagnosis is now terminal - even more so when the information you're receiving is constantly changing. One thing I can guarantee you during this time of uncertainty is the support and understanding of the Cancer Chat community, and I'm sure some of our members will stop by soon to offer their support and share their experiences and advice.

    This must be a lot to get your head around so if you'd like to talk any of this through with one of our cancer nurses, you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. Our nurses are very easy to talk to and will do all they can to answer any questions you may have at this time.

    The NHS and Marie Curie also have some really useful information and guidance on how to cope and care for someone with a terminal illness.

    I know there's nothing I can say or so that can make this any better, but I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that you are not alone and that we are all thinking of you at this very challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Reply
  • Welcome to forum EmmaLou although I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must have been to find out her diagnosis is now terminal - even more so when the information you're receiving is constantly changing. One thing I can guarantee you during this time of uncertainty is the support and understanding of the Cancer Chat community, and I'm sure some of our members will stop by soon to offer their support and share their experiences and advice.

    This must be a lot to get your head around so if you'd like to talk any of this through with one of our cancer nurses, you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. Our nurses are very easy to talk to and will do all they can to answer any questions you may have at this time.

    The NHS and Marie Curie also have some really useful information and guidance on how to cope and care for someone with a terminal illness.

    I know there's nothing I can say or so that can make this any better, but I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that you are not alone and that we are all thinking of you at this very challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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