Aw Michelle , same boat but my partners stage 4 pancreatic ( terminal ) has had major ops and chemo and radiation but now it's back he's gone yellow this week and not well at all , oncology appt tomorrow I've no hope anymore , my heart is breaking , keep up your hope hun it might all be ok , I had breast cancer 2013 , ops , chemo , radiation and I'm still here . I just so hate cancer it's so cruel xxx keep going , no one knows what tomorrow will bring even if they are healthy xx

Thank you for replying, especially when you yourself have and are going through so much. The not knowing has had me in a tailspin. I wish your husband all the best and of course you too. I can't tell you how much it means for someone to reply to me. (I don't want to burn out my lovely family and friends) x

My husband of 27 years was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 2 years ago.  Last week he was told his cancer had advanced and told he had 6-12 months.  We have a 10 years old child and I'm lost. My mind is all over the place, I have terrible depression and anxiety, and I'm trying to keep that stoic smile locked on my face but I am so close to breaking all the time.  I'm only writing on here because I know how you feel and it never stops. I can't bring myself to ask for help from anyone, because as long as I'm doing everything it looks like I'm coping. The second anyone asks how I am, I tear up, and anytime I see anyone, I don't hear what they're saying because I am so terrified they'll ask me how I am I can't concentrate.  I can't even bring myself to call my doctors to get help for how I'm feeling.  I'm in my mid 40's and I've spent nearly every year of my adult life with my husband, we've gone through so much together.  I'm so scared, I know how you are feeling and I wouldn't wish this one anyone. 

I know it really dosent help but others are out there feeling the same , it's awful , really awful the anxiety is off the scale , I'm just the same , I can hardly bear to look at my partner at the mo he looks so ill . I'm a nurse and know too much , I won't ask for help either or let people know how I feel as I get sick of them saying 'stay strong ' 'think positive ' . For me it's just take one day at a time and do your hardest not to let your mind take you to the black hole xxx it's the cruelest disease , I wish peace on everyone going through this xx

Found out on Friday my partner is terminal. Stage 4 bowel and appendix cancer. We found out about the cancer in November, he had an emergency operation to remove a tumor, and last week they found another that they could not remove. 

Its our 5 year anniversary on the 1st April. 

I'm beyond devestated. He's my world, he's helped me overcome so much and has taught me to be a better person. 

He's been told 3-6 months unless chemo can hold the cancer back, but it's incredibly aggressive.

There are so many of us in this position, even my own sister lost her husband 3 years ago. You're not alone. 

Hi Michelle.   My best friend, soulmate husband of 22 years has been given 6/9 months to live he is only 56 .  now on palliative chemo to hopefully extend life , I am too so scared about losing him, and fed up of hearing think positive!! , can't think about anything else , it's a living nightmare. So hard to make memories when they could be last ones . It makes me so sad to look at him . He is being so strong and I feel like I'm letting him down . My family and friends can't imagine what this is like , and hate to hear I'm not coping . Was comforting reading other peoples experiencing. I had stage 3 breast cancer 15 years ago chemo and radio he was so strong for me , would love to hear back on here x

Hi buster 07 ditto to your story , bless you , how hard is this !!! Family and friends are there but they really can't understand , not because they don't love you and your partner but they don't live with it every single second of the day , you get to sleep and wake up and bang !! It's all there again xxx not that I'd wish this on anyone ever but it's nice to realise your bit alone with these awful feelings xx

Thank you for replying. I've never known the absolute range of emotions like it. One minute, yes be positive and the next it's the bottom of despair. I wish you well and talking to "strangers" like this is proving invaluable to me. 

Feel free to chat anytime I'm working from home so can always catch up with phone x Don't sit and think too long , keep busy or your mental health will suffer even more x