My husband of 27 years was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 2 years ago.  Last week he was told his cancer had advanced and told he had 6-12 months.  We have a 10 years old child and I'm lost. My mind is all over the place, I have terrible depression and anxiety, and I'm trying to keep that stoic smile locked on my face but I am so close to breaking all the time.  I'm only writing on here because I know how you feel and it never stops. I can't bring myself to ask for help from anyone, because as long as I'm doing everything it looks like I'm coping. The second anyone asks how I am, I tear up, and anytime I see anyone, I don't hear what they're saying because I am so terrified they'll ask me how I am I can't concentrate.  I can't even bring myself to call my doctors to get help for how I'm feeling.  I'm in my mid 40's and I've spent nearly every year of my adult life with my husband, we've gone through so much together.  I'm so scared, I know how you are feeling and I wouldn't wish this one anyone. 

I know it really dosent help but others are out there feeling the same , it's awful , really awful the anxiety is off the scale , I'm just the same , I can hardly bear to look at my partner at the mo he looks so ill . I'm a nurse and know too much , I won't ask for help either or let people know how I feel as I get sick of them saying 'stay strong ' 'think positive ' . For me it's just take one day at a time and do your hardest not to let your mind take you to the black hole xxx it's the cruelest disease , I wish peace on everyone going through this xx

I know it really dosent help but others are out there feeling the same , it's awful , really awful the anxiety is off the scale , I'm just the same , I can hardly bear to look at my partner at the mo he looks so ill . I'm a nurse and know too much , I won't ask for help either or let people know how I feel as I get sick of them saying 'stay strong ' 'think positive ' . For me it's just take one day at a time and do your hardest not to let your mind take you to the black hole xxx it's the cruelest disease , I wish peace on everyone going through this xx

Thank you for replying. I've never known the absolute range of emotions like it. One minute, yes be positive and the next it's the bottom of despair. I wish you well and talking to "strangers" like this is proving invaluable to me. 

Feel free to chat anytime I'm working from home so can always catch up with phone x Don't sit and think too long , keep busy or your mental health will suffer even more x

Thank you. Xx