I am 50 and found lump 2 weeks ago have my appointment tomorrow. Sooo anxious and worried have tried to keep it together through christmas but now I am struggling
Hi [@Shazlarr] that sounds like things are moving ahead for you and you've made a decision about your surgery and reconstruction. I think once you know what is actually going on it gives you more peace of mind as you know you have a plan to follow and some of the uncertainty has been taken away.
Nothing more needed for me at this stage. After my lumpectomy I had radiotherapy which went fine with very little on the side effects for me and now I am on Anastrozole for five years as my cancer was 8/8 for oestrogen positive (i.e.my cancer is very sensitive to oestrogen and the growth is fuelled by it - the drug stops my body making oestrogen to reduce the chances of cancer coming back).
Now I will be followed up with a yearly MRI for the next three years and a yearly mammogram for the next five years. Now trying to throw 'cancer' off my shoulder where it has been sitting whispering in my ear "what if I come back?!" and looking forward with a positive mindset.
Wishing you lots of good thoughts for the next challenge you have ahead of you. Take each bit as it comes and know that you are in good hands and you will get through it.
How are you? Whats the latest news with you? So sorry it's been a while! Chemo has taken its toll !!! I had a few bad reactions so it's taken me a while to get back on my feet! I hope you've had good news with results. Sending hugs xx
Hi [@JenLam] how good to hear from you! I have thought of you often and wondered how you were getting on. I'm sorry to hear you have had a rough time with reactions to the chemo. How are you faring now? Have you got much more to go? I know you thought you'd be off work for quite some time. You have had a much harder time of it than me - I do hope you are hanging in there and taking each day as it comes. You've got this!
I'm doing fine really. Got through treatment without any fatigue or specific issues and I'm not having any side effects from the Anastrozole which I was concerned about having read about the awful experience some women have. I'm back to running and life in general and am off to do some more walking of the South West Coast Path later this week. On the whole life is good but definitely a general sense of feeling flat a few months down the line.
I ended up back at the Breast Unit last week as I was concerned about a new area of firmness near the second area they biopsied twice and decided was benign. My breast surgeon is so wonderful - I love her to bits - she is so human and caring. She reasured me that the new area of firmness was actually my body filling in the area that had lots of tissue removed with two very extensive vacuum assisted biopsies, and it had gone harder due to the effects of the radiotherapy. That was a relief. We had a really good chat as she identified that I was a 'coper' who had taken all of this in my stride but I was struggling under the surface to process it, and it is not actually very healthy to have held it all in. She seemed to know me better than I know myself and said she guessed I felt a bit of a fraud for having only early stage and small breast cancer that didn't require chemo and therefore she asked if didn't feel I had the right to be as upset as women who are going through a much worse time of it than I did. Weird I know, becase I know I am lucky to not have faced what you have been dealing with for example. She absolutely nailed it as that is how I have felt and still feel - it has been hard to stop thinking about it - and she wants me to have a session with the clinical psychologist in the breast unit so I can just work through that and let it go. Ironically I now feel bad that I will take the place of someone else who might have a worse cancer experience than me as I don'f feel as worthy of using that resource.
Anyway, she is one of the most fabulous doctors I have ever been under the care of and I am grateful that she was able to see me as a whole person and not just a body with cancer.
I hope your wonderful sense of humour has kept you going when you've had the tough days, and I hope the sitaution on the personal front with your ex husband is getting sorted?!
HI @JenLam sorry to hear you are finding it tough.. Please do send me a message and we can pick up our old chats. You weee a great support to me at the time last year xx
I suppose it all comes down to how unwell I've been lately. I've realised that although I've had some great days during chemo I was ill with side effects and reactions. ...now my health still isn't good and I'm struggling. It's been soooo long since I could do anything. I'm feeling like depression is creeping in and my anxiety is through the roof some days. Most days. I feel like life is coming at me at all angles!!!! And I'm too slow to take anything on!!!! Perhaps I've just turned into a moaning git? Who knows. I'm thankful that I'm here but day to day activities like showering and walking the dog are the highlight of my day. Every few days I'm ill with a low temp and fever like symptoms. GP has put it down to immunotherapy tablets. Hmmm, I just feel a bit lost and alone. Even writing that and reading it back sounds ridiculous. I've had the all clear one way or another but why aren't I celebrating every bloody moment I've got on this Planet?!!!!
Please tell me how you've been? How's the running?
Hi [@JenLam] that sounds pretty tough and you should never feel like you have to apologise for how you feel. It's the reality that you are living through and your emotions are yours and very real.
Those ongoing physical symptoms over a year later sound really challenging and it is no wonder it is hitting your mood hard. After all you've been through that's a long lasting sting in the tail.
My situation is different because my cancer was caught early and I didn't need chemo, only radiotherapy. But because of that I found it hard to move on and felt like I didn't deserve to feel sad as my breast cancer was not as bad as others. I was really struggling to move on. I had gone back to see my breast surgeon about a lump which turned out to be nothing but she spotted I needed help and arranged a couple of sessions with the breast unit's clinical psychologist. It was such a helpful thing to talk with him and helped me so much to process my emotions (although I then felt guilty I was taking up sessions that someone with more serious cancer might need...!). Do you have that option through your breast unit? If not can you go back to your GP and explain how it is impacting you? You shouldn't have to be shouldering this on your own.
Apart from the emotions, those physical symptoms sound challenging. How long are you on the tablets for?
I am on Anastrozole for 5 years and 14 months in I'm doing fine with no side effects. I think the regular running (my saviour!) is helping. My husband and I have been doing more of the South West Coast Path and have now have only 2 sections to go which we will finish next month. When we started back on that after treatment ended I felt like a weak little lamb trying to climb the path so its good to be back out there. And it is great that you are walking the dog regularly. The psychologist said one of the most important things you can do for mental and emotional recovery is to exercise in nature. I find it helps massively.
Look at me - I have never been able to write a short post! I will see if I can work out how to do a private message to you as well.
You're right. I need to accept where I am on the recovery road. It's weird feeling so pumped up and ready to take anything on and now the symptoms are ongoing and life is very different. I know what I mean about not deserving to feel sad as your cancer isn't 'as bad' as others. It all depends how your body reacts to things. Im actually a qualified counsellor! Which makes me feel worse as I know what I need to be doing but just can't get it it together! I've been unwell again and a *** up with prescriptions meant a drive to hospital today. It didn't go well in that I felt awful and it was a real struggle sorting it out. My husband is extremely exhausted as he's been doing everything love him.
Tbh my gp wouldn't do much apart from stick me on a waiting list for counselling or give me anti depressants.
that's brilliant that you've accomplished so much. Being able to share ur running with your husband is great too. I've been getting to the park as much as I can as it really helps me mentally. Some days it's not possible. Im on these tablets -Exemestane for 5 years. Hopefully the symptoms will subside soon.
