Hi Janeylou. I know how you feel. I'm 51 and received a recall letter on Christmas Eve (great timing) saying an abnormality was found on my first screening mammogram. My clinic appt is 5 Jan and I can think of nothing else at the moment. I'm trying to keep distracted. My teenage daughter and husband saw me open the letter but I haven't told my teenage son or anyone else apart from my best friend. Kind of want to know what is actually the outcome before I worry other people. Will tell my boss (she is lovely) though as need time off work for the appt. My Mum and her mother (so my maternal grandmother) both had breast cancer. My grandmother died years ago from another cancer in the end and my Mum is doing fine, four years on. I had three (one per year) mammograms up to the age of 50 on the familial screening programme (which were all clear)but the last one was nearly two years ago (I'm 52 in February). When I  had the recall letter last week I then took a close look at my breasts as I hadn't noticed any lumps (I am a bit rubbish at checking though) and was horrified to see a considerable area of dimpling/puckering under my left inner breast - quite obvious lines and indents when I raise my arms. I have no idea how long they have been there as I don't go around with my arms in the air staring at my boobs Kind of wish I had now though. I can really understand what you are feeling and the waiting is awful as every scenario goes through your head. All I can say to you (and me!) is that most cases referred aren't cancer so let's hold onto that thought!! Good luck for tomorrow. X

Hi Kiwirunner, just wanted to let you know....my circumstances very similar to you, age 53 years, referral letter arrived the day before Christmas Eve.....not sure how I've got through Xmas as no extended family around to keep me busy as usual, due to their health issues (my sister has secondary breast cancer) Just myself, hubby and teen daughter, who, as you, saw me open referral letter, which I managed to play down.

Attended my appointment first thing today (my birthday) I was told that there was a change in one of my breasts so I had a more detailed mammogram and an ultrasound. After the ultrasound the consultant told me that I am absolutely fine and can go back to three yearly mammograms. 
 

Just wanted to give you some hope and let you know that things can still be okay even though you might think the worst....I found it so difficult to.stay positive. I was sooo scared, i am a bit of a glass half full person. It's awful having waited over Christmas, I can't tell you how stressed I've been. Good luck with your appointment and fingers crossed for you xx

Hi Kimmarie, when you feel upto it, the Victoria Derbyshire blogs that she made during her treatment look very useful. She explains really well about her mastectomy initially and I learnt things that i didn't realise (in a positive way) Can't imagine what you're going through, i was lucky as my diagnosis was clear. Please keep posting and I'll do my best in anyway to try and support, if that's something you'd like. 

Hi [@Janeylou]‍ will be thinking of you tomorrow when you go back for your check on the area they weren't sure about. Hopefully it has settled down and is nothing to be worried about but I know how you will be feeling on the eve of your appt. Fingers crossed for you xx

Hi [@Mumofteen]‍ thanks for checking in on everyone - that is really kind. I have heard good things about Victoria's account of her experience. [@KimMarie]‍ how are you feeling now that you have had a few days to digest your news of last week? Not easy I am sure but I hope you have some good support and we are here too if/when you need a download xx

So the latest update from me. Timeline to date:

Screening mammogram in Dec.

Recall letter 24 Dec (nice timing).

Assessment clinic on 5 Jan. Told I was recalled for area in upper outer quadrant on left breast. Have diagnostic mammogram. Consultant radiologist reads the slides and says that area is OK but they have now spotted a new area of concern. This is lower inner quadrant on same breast and is in the exact area where I realise that I have puckering (looks like two lines - one about two inches long and one about an inch long just above it) when I put my arms above my head.

Radiologist does an ultrasound and says it looks like cancer so does a needle biopsy.

Fast forward to 15 Jan appt for results in meeting with breast surgeon.

She says it is complicated as biopsy is inconclusive but MDT think it is cancer but can't confirm. She books me in for surgery on 16 Feb and then books MRI for 21 Jan and another biopsy on 28th (today)

So today... not what I expected. Another diagnostic mammogram then a meeting with a different consultant radiologist (assessment clinic at a different hospital but I am now under care of my local one). She says MRI indicates the lower inner quadrant area does look cancerous. But new news is the area I was recalled on in upper outer quadrant and supposedly cleared for now looks suspicious after the MRI and they need to biopsy it.

Two rather 'challenging' vacuum assisted biopsies. The first takes an hour and I have to lie in my side on a bed with my boob sandwiched in the mammogram. Advised to close my eyes so I don't see the huge needle. Staff are amazing and chat away to me. Titanium marker added and another mammogram to check it is in place.

Cup of tea then back into ultrasound room with consultant radiologist for another vacuum biopsy on lower inner quadrant. As she administers the local anaesthetic the needle bends at 90 degrees due to tough tissue in my breast. She says she has never seen that before. Eek! Another needle and then on with the biopsy and another titanium marker.

Another cup of tea and biscuits they rustle up from the staff room for me after having had two doses of adrenaline (given to reduce bleeding) I am a bit shaky and then on my way home after three hours in the breast unit.

Apparently I was a model patient as I just got on with it but now I am home it is sinking in that this could change things a lot if two different areas, as consultant radiologist said that will really change the management plan. Gulp.

Now have to wait for the big results meeting on 3 Feb. xx

My goodness what a day for.you im sorry you had such a difficult day i cannot imagine how you are feeling. You sound like a very strong determined lady that will help you beat whatever your facing. I truly hope that you get good news on 3rd. Thinking of you. Take care xxxx

Thanks so much [@Janeylou]‍ . How did you get on yesterday? xx

Had my appointment yesterday lump still there but they are happy its just gland tissue. Didnt post as i know your going through such a hard time getting difficult news and i got good news. Take care and i am keeping everything crossed for you for the 3rd xxx

Oh don't hesitate to share good news. I'm really thrilled for you! Good stuff.

Thanks for the support. I'll update next week. Take care xx

Hi guys, 

Sorry I haven't been on til now, I was just trying to get on with things and that has been successful but now it's dawning on me that it's very real and surgery is next I'm just waiting to find out if there is anything in the right side before they operate. I have a meeting on the 6th to find out and then I think I will get a surgery date. 
 

One thing stressing me out is the idea of losing my hair during chemo so I think I'm going to try the cold cap! Has anyone heard any success stories with it? 
 

Wow [@kiwirunner]‍ you've been through so much too, nothing is ever simple is it! I keep neatly passing out with biopsies! 
 

Stay strong everyone xx

Hi [@KimMarie]‍ hope your meeting goes well on the 6th and you find out more about surgery date. Not surprised you are finding it a lot to take in and thought of losing hair is a hard one too on top of loss of a boob. Hopefully you get some feedback on the cold cap idea.
I have my (finally) results appt tomorrow and actually already have a provisional surgery date (16 Feb) from when I went in for the original results appt on Jan 15 where it was complicated. I think that is on basis of lumpectomy and I guess tomorrow I'll find out if still that or mastectomy. Been doing pretty well but now feeling really nervous! 
 

Hope you are doing ok xx

Hi [@KimMarie]‍ hope your meeting goes well on the 6th and you find out more about surgery date. Not surprised you are finding it a lot to take in and thought of losing hair is a hard one too on top of loss of a boob. Hopefully you get some feedback on the cold cap idea.
I have my (finally) results appt tomorrow and actually already have a provisional surgery date (16 Feb) from when I went in for the original results appt on Jan 15 where it was complicated. I think that is on basis of lumpectomy and I guess tomorrow I'll find out if still that or mastectomy. Been doing pretty well but now feeling really nervous! 
 

Hope you are doing ok xx

Hi kiwirunner

Just to.say i am thinking if you tomorow . Hoping you get some positive news. 

Glad you have been doing ok 

Take care keeping everything crossed  xxx 

Oh my goodnes, could this experience get any weirder? So, yesterday I was set for my results appt at 11.30am. Had a call at 9am to say my breast surgeon was off sick and would I mind meeting instead with another surgeon I hadn't yet met, at 2.30pm. I was relieved that the appt wasn't cancelled so was happy to go. 

Unfortunately, my husband couldn't come in with me, as the decision is down to the individual doctor. At the results meeting that turned out to not be definitive on 15 Jan, she was fine to have my husband in the room but not the new surgeon I was seeing. So that was already off to a start that felt less good than I hoped.

Anyway.. (he turned out to be as lovely as the other surgeon I am assigned to) he cut to the chase and said both biopsies from last week came back with no cancer in them. What?! All the medical  staff from consultant radiologists to the surgeon have been telling me it looks like cancer and to prepare for that. I mean this is good  but also so confusing.

And it is not as clear cut as that as I am having ANOTHER biopsy next week and still having surgery as originally scheduled on 16th. Apparently the MDT are not too happy as the histology results (no cancer in the biopsies) are not really marrying up with what they are seeing on the imaging (MRI, ultrasounds, mammogram) or the clinical presentation (I have quite an area of tethering on the lower inner quadrant) so they want to get it out with a wide local excision (lumpectomy) and send off for pathology assessment.

The second area (upper outer quadrant on same breast) that they did the biopsy in the mammogram last week is the one they want to do again (ouch - I am still so bruised and have a massive haematoma still :-( )to rule that in or out for once and for all. At the moment that area is showing as a complex sclerosing lesion which can mimic cancer but can also be hiding little bits of cancer potentially and before they do a lumpectomy on the bit they do want out on the lower bit of the beast, they want to be more certain about this on the top of my breast. If two areas are still problematic, that may change the surgical approach.

This all feels totally weird when I was told to expect it was cancer, then told it the biopsies don't show that but everything else is not stacking up quite right. However, I am super impressed with how thorough they are being and they are very apologetic at how many tests I have gone through: assessment clinic, with mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies, MRI, two more biopsies, now back for a third round and then surgery. I get it though - medicine is not an exact science and they can only go on the evidence in front of them and I have confidence in their leve of skill and care.

My surgery will be in a private hospital due to Covid with the NHS team from where I am being seen now, doing the surgery.

So, much better news than I was expecting but also not clear really with more to follow!

Will pop back with an update after Thurs biopsy (have had core needle, vacuum assisted and now this one is stereostatic what ever that means but sandwiched back in the mammogram machine again for 45 mins or so. Nice. Then they are going to prioritise the histology report so it is back before my surgery and we either a) go with the 16th as planned or b) delay by a week or so to discuss new options.

Mentally and emotionall draining but it could be worse when I see what so many lovely women on here are doing through xx

I admit it. I am incapable of writing a short post haha.

Aw [@kiwirunner]‍ ive just logged on to see how you are doing and you've updated. What a tricky scenario you're in but hopefully you are now closer to getting some answers about what it all is. Hope you are feeling ok and the biopsy isn't too sore with already bruised area. 
 

I find out tomorrow if there is anything going on with the right side as well. To be honest it doesn't matter to me what the results are as ive still got a massive ordeal ahead! Xx

Oh [@KimMarie]‍ even though it is a big ordeal already you could do without the other side to worry about too! What has sparked the need for that investigation? Have you got any dates in place yet for the start of your plan? If you feel up to it, do pop back on here to update as you have been in my thoughts xx

My goodness what an ordeal you are having . I cannot imagine how much you must feel like your on a roller coaster of emotions. Gosh you have been through so much already , but as you say they are being so through and it sounds like your going to get the best treatment with lovely staff. Pleased your getting to go to a private hospital. 

I hope thursday goes well and you finally get all the answers

 You take care you are dealing with everything amazing xxx

Hi kimMarie 

I hope today went well and you have had good news xxxx

Hi, my goodness what a lot to take in, nothing is ever simple! At least they are being extremely thorough and not just sending you away at this stage. Good luck with the extra biopsies. Thinking of you all on here at the moment xxx

Another update - my case is dragging on with all the extra testing. Had a third biopsy yesterday afternoon. Redoing the second area of concern which is a 15mm spiculated area of distortion without a mass at the centre. This time they used an even bigger needle for the vacuum assisted biopsy while lying down clamped in the mammogram machine than I had last time. 12 samples taken this time unlike the last time with six samples. Because I stil have a massive haematoma and bruising from second round of biopsies two weeks ago (apparently I am 'very vascular' - not one for the LinkedIn profile haha), it was hard to get the local anaesthetic to where it needed to be. Two samples in and I squealed in pain. Turns out the haematoma absorbed the local, rather than the surrounding tissue, so they gave me masses more local anaesthetic. They wernt around all the 'spider legs' twice to get as much sampling as they could as it does look suspicious. Have taken the other biopsies in my stride but yesterday's was tough.

Now a rush job on the pathology as I am booked at moment for lumpectomy on Tuesdsay to take the other area out that has the spiculations and a mass at the middle and looks cancerous.

Two biopsies so far that are inconclusive but they don't match with the radiology (mamogram, ultrasound, MRI) and the puckering on my skin so they are keeping at it.

If latest pathology comes back with it dodgy then surgery on Tues will be postponed for a week or so while we revisit surgical options as that would be two different areas of the breast that need sorting out,

Add to that an infected tooth this week with antibiotics that can't be mixed with alcohol, and tooth pain, ,made my 'dry' 20th wedding anniversary on Weds a bit different to expected. Sigh. 

They will call with results on Monday as no time to get me in before the surgery on Tues, assuming that still goes ahead.

Considering this started with a recall letter on 24 Dec it is starting to take its toll somewhat. BUT I do feel under amazing care with my NHS team. xx

Oh my goodness, it's sounds horrendous. Damn the antibiotics for not being able to have a drink at the end of THAT day as you sound like you needed it! Can't imagine how stressful it is....please let me know how you get on next week. Sending you positive thoughts. You're in the best hands, no matter what xxx

My gosh what a terrible time. You have been through so much. You really could have done with a drink after everything.  I am keeping everything crossed for some good news you really deserve it so much. 

Hope everything goes well next week and i hope your family are doing ok and you all pull together 

Big hug xxx