Hi Janeylou. I know how you feel. I'm 51 and received a recall letter on Christmas Eve (great timing) saying an abnormality was found on my first screening mammogram. My clinic appt is 5 Jan and I can think of nothing else at the moment. I'm trying to keep distracted. My teenage daughter and husband saw me open the letter but I haven't told my teenage son or anyone else apart from my best friend. Kind of want to know what is actually the outcome before I worry other people. Will tell my boss (she is lovely) though as need time off work for the appt. My Mum and her mother (so my maternal grandmother) both had breast cancer. My grandmother died years ago from another cancer in the end and my Mum is doing fine, four years on. I had three (one per year) mammograms up to the age of 50 on the familial screening programme (which were all clear)but the last one was nearly two years ago (I'm 52 in February). When I  had the recall letter last week I then took a close look at my breasts as I hadn't noticed any lumps (I am a bit rubbish at checking though) and was horrified to see a considerable area of dimpling/puckering under my left inner breast - quite obvious lines and indents when I raise my arms. I have no idea how long they have been there as I don't go around with my arms in the air staring at my boobs Kind of wish I had now though. I can really understand what you are feeling and the waiting is awful as every scenario goes through your head. All I can say to you (and me!) is that most cases referred aren't cancer so let's hold onto that thought!! Good luck for tomorrow. X

Hi Kiwirunner, just wanted to let you know....my circumstances very similar to you, age 53 years, referral letter arrived the day before Christmas Eve.....not sure how I've got through Xmas as no extended family around to keep me busy as usual, due to their health issues (my sister has secondary breast cancer) Just myself, hubby and teen daughter, who, as you, saw me open referral letter, which I managed to play down.

Attended my appointment first thing today (my birthday) I was told that there was a change in one of my breasts so I had a more detailed mammogram and an ultrasound. After the ultrasound the consultant told me that I am absolutely fine and can go back to three yearly mammograms. 
 

Just wanted to give you some hope and let you know that things can still be okay even though you might think the worst....I found it so difficult to.stay positive. I was sooo scared, i am a bit of a glass half full person. It's awful having waited over Christmas, I can't tell you how stressed I've been. Good luck with your appointment and fingers crossed for you xx

Thank you, I have my appointment on the 22nd. I have everything crossed they are wrong. No better not to, but I am the South West too and they've said as long as all treatment is as an out patient I will be fine. It's all so scary without COVID getting in the way. 
Thanks for your reply 

Take care of yourself and stay positive xx

Hi kimMarie, I will keep everything crossed you get good news on 22nd xxx

Thank you, I've got it all tightly crossed too xx

Hope your both doing ok xxx

Hi Janeylou that is nice of you to check in. A week today until you go back to have it checked again? Doesn't time drag!

KimMarie, you've got just two days to go now until you get your results? I know how you will be feeling, when like me you have been told to prepare for it being cancer but the waiting to know exactly what you are facing is so hard. Will be thinking of you on Friday - do let us know how you get on. xx

I have my MRI tomorrow evening (6.45pm). I dreamt last night that they found lots of extra bits in there in addition to the one they have already found. I guess that is the whole point of an MRI but it still feels daunting. More biopsies on the 28th and I guess if they biopsy more areas than redoing the one they have identified then that will be another thing to get my head around. Just want to know what I am facing and the days are going so slowly...

Let's keep each other posted - so good to have the support on here xx

HI [@KimMarie]‍ have been thinking of you today and wondering how you got on at your appt today? Hope it went OK.

I had my MRI last night. Quite an experience as never had one before. Not my finest moment trying to shuffle up the board on my stomach like a salmon trying to go up river, as I tried to get my boobs in the 'pots' better after not aiming them right the first time hahaha.  Not helped by one of the radiographers being a disarmingly attractive man! Anyway, yet another step done and second round of biopsies next week now.

Here's hoping you had a good end to the week today xx

Hi [@kiwirunner]‍ 

Thanks for thinking of me, so I had my appointment today and it wasn't great news, which I had expected. It's cancer and I have several lumps all grade 2/3 so I need to have surgery which will involve a mastectomy ‍♀️ Then I need 6 months of chemo, some radiotherapy and then tablets. All a lot to take in and I'm not really sure how I feel about it all. 
 

I'm  glad you've had your MRI done, when do you get your results for that? Xx

Thanks [@Janeylou]‍  for staying in touch, not the greatest news but I need to stay positive so I can get through it all! How are you getting on? Xx

Hi glad you have had your MRI sounds very strange scan to have but made easier by the very hansome man you mentioned. Your anothet step closer to getting all the answers and getting on with treatment . Hope your doing ok imagine its a total rollercoaster for you at the minute . Take care jane xxx

Hi kimMarie, 

Im so sorry you didnt get good news today. I know nothing i say can help especially only getting the news today. Your mind must be all over when you have had time process it you will be ready to tackle your treatment and get on with completing your treatment. If you ever need someone to talk to please mesage me if you need a  chat to scream, cry or just chat..

Keep.positive thinking of you 

Jane xxx

Hi kimMarie, 

Im so sorry you didnt get good news today. I know nothing i say can help especially only getting the news today. Your mind must be all over when you have had time process it you will be ready to tackle your treatment and get on with completing your treatment. If you ever need someone to talk to please mesage me if you need a  chat to scream, cry or just chat..

Keep.positive thinking of you 

Jane xxx

Aw thank you very much, I feel quite numb to it all right now. 
I find this forum great as it's nice to be able to talk to people who have or are going through similar situations. Thank you very much. I will try my hardest to stay positive through it all. It's going to be one tough year ahead xx

Hi Kimmarie, when you feel upto it, the Victoria Derbyshire blogs that she made during her treatment look very useful. She explains really well about her mastectomy initially and I learnt things that i didn't realise (in a positive way) Can't imagine what you're going through, i was lucky as my diagnosis was clear. Please keep posting and I'll do my best in anyway to try and support, if that's something you'd like. 

Hi [@Mumofteen]‍ thanks for checking in on everyone - that is really kind. I have heard good things about Victoria's account of her experience. [@KimMarie]‍ how are you feeling now that you have had a few days to digest your news of last week? Not easy I am sure but I hope you have some good support and we are here too if/when you need a download xx

So the latest update from me. Timeline to date:

Screening mammogram in Dec.

Recall letter 24 Dec (nice timing).

Assessment clinic on 5 Jan. Told I was recalled for area in upper outer quadrant on left breast. Have diagnostic mammogram. Consultant radiologist reads the slides and says that area is OK but they have now spotted a new area of concern. This is lower inner quadrant on same breast and is in the exact area where I realise that I have puckering (looks like two lines - one about two inches long and one about an inch long just above it) when I put my arms above my head.

Radiologist does an ultrasound and says it looks like cancer so does a needle biopsy.

Fast forward to 15 Jan appt for results in meeting with breast surgeon.

She says it is complicated as biopsy is inconclusive but MDT think it is cancer but can't confirm. She books me in for surgery on 16 Feb and then books MRI for 21 Jan and another biopsy on 28th (today)

So today... not what I expected. Another diagnostic mammogram then a meeting with a different consultant radiologist (assessment clinic at a different hospital but I am now under care of my local one). She says MRI indicates the lower inner quadrant area does look cancerous. But new news is the area I was recalled on in upper outer quadrant and supposedly cleared for now looks suspicious after the MRI and they need to biopsy it.

Two rather 'challenging' vacuum assisted biopsies. The first takes an hour and I have to lie in my side on a bed with my boob sandwiched in the mammogram. Advised to close my eyes so I don't see the huge needle. Staff are amazing and chat away to me. Titanium marker added and another mammogram to check it is in place.

Cup of tea then back into ultrasound room with consultant radiologist for another vacuum biopsy on lower inner quadrant. As she administers the local anaesthetic the needle bends at 90 degrees due to tough tissue in my breast. She says she has never seen that before. Eek! Another needle and then on with the biopsy and another titanium marker.

Another cup of tea and biscuits they rustle up from the staff room for me after having had two doses of adrenaline (given to reduce bleeding) I am a bit shaky and then on my way home after three hours in the breast unit.

Apparently I was a model patient as I just got on with it but now I am home it is sinking in that this could change things a lot if two different areas, as consultant radiologist said that will really change the management plan. Gulp.

Now have to wait for the big results meeting on 3 Feb. xx

My goodness what a day for.you im sorry you had such a difficult day i cannot imagine how you are feeling. You sound like a very strong determined lady that will help you beat whatever your facing. I truly hope that you get good news on 3rd. Thinking of you. Take care xxxx

Thanks so much [@Janeylou]‍ . How did you get on yesterday? xx

Had my appointment yesterday lump still there but they are happy its just gland tissue. Didnt post as i know your going through such a hard time getting difficult news and i got good news. Take care and i am keeping everything crossed for you for the 3rd xxx

Oh don't hesitate to share good news. I'm really thrilled for you! Good stuff.

Thanks for the support. I'll update next week. Take care xx

Hi guys, 

Sorry I haven't been on til now, I was just trying to get on with things and that has been successful but now it's dawning on me that it's very real and surgery is next I'm just waiting to find out if there is anything in the right side before they operate. I have a meeting on the 6th to find out and then I think I will get a surgery date. 
 

One thing stressing me out is the idea of losing my hair during chemo so I think I'm going to try the cold cap! Has anyone heard any success stories with it? 
 

Wow [@kiwirunner]‍ you've been through so much too, nothing is ever simple is it! I keep neatly passing out with biopsies! 
 

Stay strong everyone xx

Hi [@KimMarie]‍ hope your meeting goes well on the 6th and you find out more about surgery date. Not surprised you are finding it a lot to take in and thought of losing hair is a hard one too on top of loss of a boob. Hopefully you get some feedback on the cold cap idea.
I have my (finally) results appt tomorrow and actually already have a provisional surgery date (16 Feb) from when I went in for the original results appt on Jan 15 where it was complicated. I think that is on basis of lumpectomy and I guess tomorrow I'll find out if still that or mastectomy. Been doing pretty well but now feeling really nervous! 
 

Hope you are doing ok xx