Oh bless your heart, I can relate so much! It was the very start of the school summer holidays for me though instead of Christmas. How old are your little ones?.
It really can feel very all consuming but I totally agree with RedRuth84 , try and stay positive.  Its so hard to do I know but it makes such a difference. I found the waiting for results so unbelievably hard, I just wish I could give you a hug. You will get through this, no matter the outcome you will find the strength and take it step by step. If you need to chat or vent we are all here, we get it and you arent alone. Xxxx

Mine are not so little,I have a 19 year old,they have autism,but they manage themselves very well. An my youngest is 16,2 wonderful children feel so blessed with them both. Obviously they see their d and they have great relationship with him,they live with me,but I know they would have him to lean on if it will be needed,which is a great help for me. Yes am a very strong person and no matter w t life throws at me I will fight it,for the sake of my kids and myself. As you have all said its just the unknown that litually eats away at you day and night unfortunately,thank you it's been such a great help reading people's own individual journeys on these chats,really does make you realise just how many of us have this to deal with in our lives. Has given me such hope in dealing with my own x  

It sounds like you have a great strength and mentality to see this head on if needs be. 

The place you are in right now many will tell you is so so hard. You know enough to be frightened but not enough to move forward so its a limbo quite like no other. Im just hoping maybe they will be able to speak to you before the 23rd, that does seem like quite a wait. When I was waiting for my biopsy results I went into escapism mode with movies as I found it gave me something to focus on that wasnt what was happening. 
It really does help seeing and hearing others stories as it can feel quite lonely in the beginning. This forum has been so so helpful and everyone is so kind! Xxx 

Hi Ladies RedRuth84 Rambleon88 hope you are both continuing to do well, just catching up on your threads. Sounds like you are finding that inner strength and that makes me happy to read about how you are. I'm still finding the tiredness difficult, get to about 3pm and that's it, I hit that brick wall and I'm done in. Absolutely dreading work on Thursday:-( it's going to be extremely busy month. Had a lovely Xmas, nice and chilled and quiet, was just lovely....saw Suzanne's post, hun I've requested a friend link to you. We have all been in that horrible time period...the wait! Yes it's awful and we all deal with it in different ways, I couldn't cope at all, but try to stay strong and think positively. Do not google anything...it only makes you worse. Whatever the outcome we are here for you, this forum has helped me so much to get through....now all of you keep that finish line in your sight....I wish you the absolute very best for 2025, and thank you for your support. Maybe one day we can get together....I must look at my settings as still not getting notifications lol. Chat soon my lovelies xxxxx

Hi hun, apart from the bloody tiredness I'm OK. Still getting the odd pain in the operation area but suspect it's still internal healing....still a bit of numbness going on. My hands have been a bit better but I suspect that's because I've not been bashing the keyboard at work like 50 mph...lol. saw some friends boxing night and they say I look great, maybe I do look ok but it's on the inside of my head, the what if's story line keeps popping up, Jesus it's like an episode of Coronation street sometimes ha ha....took xmas day at a slow pace, with my fella at my side, we didn't rush, we did the dinner between us and everything went well. Still kept thinking it could have been so different....so I'm grateful for where im at if that makes sense. Glad your feeling better after your chest episode gosh that sounded worrying hun but sounds like it's going well for you. Stay strong hun.....speak soon lovely xxxx

Hi hun that made me chuckle about the mother in law... you do what you need to do hun, your going through this not her...blimey I'd do a fake xmas with you, we nearly bought another ham and a turkey yesterday as we enjoyed xmas dinner so much this year lol. Aww hope the markers get where they should be. Yep radiotherapy is a doddle compared to what you are having now but as I say it is exhausting, well we all different, but it has made me tired. Your getting there hun, so keep that in focus and you go have as many xmas /family and friends get together as you can manage. You deserve it. Chat soon xxxx

I am experiencing this exact same right now. Exactly the same happened to me and 2 days before Xmas I had biopsies done and mental clips inserted. I am going on Friday for results and I am absolutely petrified.

I have a 17 and 13 year old been married 23 years and have so much planned for 2025. I feel like I am living in a nightmare. 

I hope your results came back OK, and you have managed to beat it. As I can see this comment was some time ago. 

All the best for 2025

A xx

 TM1 oh lovely Im sorry to hear your still fatigued after radiotherapy. Ive heard it can take quite a while. Can totally relate to the random little pains in the surgical area, literally had it myself in the last half hour :-D! I think its nerves coming back to life with me sometimes as Im still numb but much less so. Im sure your looking absolutely beautiful and give yourself time and mentally you will feel calmer Im sure, we have all been through so much and its all still very fresh for all of us. The “what ifs” are really difficult on times same as the “This could have all played out so differently” thoughts that just have me feeling so grateful. Lol like an episode of Corrie!! So glad you and your partner have had a lovely holidays, taking it easy and making food together sounds perfect! 

Rest up and enjoy the New Years lovely! 
Xxxx

 Annette79  oh lovely, whenever I see posts like yours I just want to leap through the screen and give you a big hug. 
Your in about the worst limbo right now and the fear, confusion and sadness that comes with it are like nothing Id ever experienced. It doesnt feel real and the shock of it is just awful.
This does subside I promise you.  
I know its easier said than done as this is such a difficult time but try and stay positive, many more biopsies come back negative for cancer than positive.

I really do hope that your results are benign but if they arent then this is the first step towards getting better and getting back on track. You may very well still be able to get on with all of your 2025 plans albeit with maybe slight delays. Everyone’s treatment plan is unique for them with different time scales. Take all of this step by step.

Unfortunately mine was positive but I was incredibly lucky with how supportive and fast my team moved. Diagnosed on the 02/08, surgery 04/09!. Now Im almost at the half way mark of my adjuvant/preventative chemo.

This forum has been fantastic and the support, warmth and kindness here has blown me away. We are here if you need to chat, vent or just air your thoughts lovely, you arent alone and we get it. Xxx

Hi TM1 unfortunately your friend request hasn't come theough for me ro expect,I will try and send you a request and see if it allows you. Thank you so much for all your kind words,and being here,it really is an awful struggle waiting for results,as said before it's definitely like being in limbo.